


the taste of tears

by dreamsofolicity



Series: Olicity Hiatus Fics [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, OHFAT, Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon, Olicity Hiatus fic, Post-S1, Sexual Content, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-11-13 19:07:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11191491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsofolicity/pseuds/dreamsofolicity
Summary: Oliver comes to Felicity a few days after the Undertaking. Their night together has far reaching consequences.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my third entry for the Olicity Hiatus Fic-A-Thon, fulfilling the "taste" prompt.
> 
> Basically, this is an angst fest with a lot of smut. It's my first time writing smut for the pairing so please be gentle with me.
> 
> Oliver's whole thing with Laurel in s1 never happened, to put this into some context.

When the knock came, Felicity had to consider whether or not she should answer the door. It was two in the morning. Who would come by at this hour? Better yet, how did they know that she’d be awake? The city was reeling and tense in the aftermath of the Undertaking but the rational part of her knew that someone with ill intent probably wouldn’t wait patiently for her to answer the door. Somehow she knew that only one of two people would be on the other side when she opened it. Moving from her couch, she wrapped a blanket around her shoulders and shuffled to the door. Sure enough, her suspicions were proved correct when she peeked through the peephole and quickly opened the door.

Haggard. That was the best way to describe Oliver’s appearance. He looked as though he hadn’t slept in days, which Felicity suspected to be true. One hand was braced on her doorway as if it was the only thing keeping him standing. She hadn’t seen him since the night of the Undertaking. His broken voice begging Tommy to open his eyes over the comms had been haunting her ever since, among other things. As he lifted his eyes to meet hers, she saw grief, anger, and uncertainty in their vibrant depths.

“I saw your light,” he said quietly, his voice rough.

Felicity didn’t say a word. She didn’t need to. She just held her door open wider and stepped to the side so that he could come in. Once she closed and locked it back up, she turned around to see him hovering in between her kitchen and living room. She couldn’t help but feel both surprised and understanding about the fact that he sought her out. His mother was in jail, his sister had shut herself away, Diggle was focused on Carly, and Laurel was in mourning. Oliver had been isolating himself since the Undertaking, just like Felicity had done. They were the only ones who had no one else to talk to.

_If you ever need to tell someone about your day, you can tell me._

It felt like so long ago that Oliver spoke those words to her, his hand a comforting weight on her shoulder. Felicity had taken them to heart. Stepping forward, she touched his arm hesitantly and looked up into his eyes.

“Do you want to talk?” she asked.

Oliver swallowed hard and she immediately saw the uncertainty in his gaze.

“Okay,” she said, nodding her head.

Squeezing his arm lightly before stepping away, Felicity released the blanket from her shoulders and laid it across the back of her couch before stepping towards the hallway. She didn’t have to look to know that he was following her all the way back to her bedroom. It didn’t feel uncomfortable to let him into her most private space. This was _Oliver_. Other than Diggle, no one knew him better than she did and Felicity was absolutely certain that the same was true the other way around. She didn’t hesitate to pull the blankets back on her bed before sitting just below her pillow. Looking up at Oliver, who was watching her with that same indecision, Felicity lifted her arm and reached out towards him. Somehow, contrary to her usual state, she knew exactly the right thing to say.

“I haven’t felt safe since that night, Oliver,” she said softly, her hand still outstretched. “And I know that you haven’t slept well either. Maybe we just shouldn’t be alone right now. That’s okay.”

Just like she expected, the words caused a little bit of the tension to drain from his shoulders as he toed his shoes off. Felicity felt the slightest pang in her chest as she watched him set his phone and wallet on her dresser before crossing over to her bed. It all felt slightly domestic and she fought down the urge to blurt out something that would be entirely inappropriate. This wasn’t the time. Oliver’s movements were still wary but she was satisfied when he climbed atop the covers and glanced at her as if to make sure she meant what she said. In answer, Felicity simply removed her glasses, set them on her nightstand, and reached out to switch her lamp off.

There was still dim light filtering through her thin curtains from the street, helping her see his outline as she slowly laid back onto her pillow and pulled her blanket up to her chest. Oliver sat still as a statue for a few long moments before finally shifting onto the bed until he was lying next to her. It felt slightly weird to be under the covers when he wasn’t but Felicity wasn’t going to push anything right now. The fact that he was in her bed at all was a personal victory, something she definitely wouldn’t be saying out loud.

But her cheeks still filled with color at the slight innuendo in her thoughts and she hoped that he didn’t see it when his head turned to meet her gaze. Shifting onto her side, Felicity folded her hands beneath her cheek and stared into his eyes. Oliver stared back wordlessly, clearly searching for something in her gaze. Whatever he saw must have satisfied him because he relaxed the slightest bit more and his hands uncurled from tight fists. Reaching out, Felicity gently traced her fingers over the pronounced veins on the back of his hand before catching on the scars that stood out on his knuckles.

“I’m here,” she said without looking up at him, her voice barely above a whisper. “If you need to talk, if you need a hug, if you just need to eat an entire pint of ice cream in one go...I’m here.”

Oliver’s hand remained still beneath hers until she finished. When he finally moved, she froze in place only to feel him weave his fingers through hers, squeezing her hand lightly. For the first time in several days, tiredness tugged at her eyelids all too easily. It didn’t take long for her to fall into unconsciousness. Her last thought was the hope that Oliver might find some rest as well.

* * *

When Felicity woke up, she had no idea how much time had passed. It was still dark outside but her alarm clock sat on the nightstand behind her. Blinking out of her bleary delirium, she quickly realized what had awoken her. Oliver’s breaths were coming quickly and his hand was still in hers, gripping her fingers tightly enough that it caused her a small amount of discomfort. Shifting slightly, she stretched out her other hand to brush over his cheek, breathing out his name softly. Felicity’s breath caught in her throat when she felt wetness on her fingertips. Oliver’s entire body was rigid and his face was screwed up as if he was in pain. It came as no surprise to her that a few tears slipped from beneath his tightly-shut eyes.

“Oliver,” she repeated, her voice slightly louder this time.

Suddenly he was upright, knocking both of her hands away with a sharp intake of breath. When she saw him reach over his shoulder, Felicity knew that he was reaching for a bow and arrow that wasn’t there.

“You’re okay,” she said, reaching over to switch on the lamp. “You just had a nightmare.”

Oliver’s entire body shuddered as she spoke, his hands dropping, suddenly limp, to his lap. Felicity silently implored him to look at her but he stared straight forward.

“It’s me,” Felicity said, rubbing her hand over his arm. “Just me and you.”

His muscles twitched beneath her touch but he still didn’t turn his head.

“Come on, Oliver,” she whispered.

Daringly, Felicity reached up and pressed her hand to his cheek. The wetness was still there, at a sharp contrast to the roughness of his scruff that scratched at her palm. Finally, his head turned slowly towards her and she bit down on her lip when their eyes met. There was a intense tormented look in the storm of his eyes that struck deep in her heart and nearly brought tears to her own eyes. When he moved, her eyes flickered downwards only to see his hand lift to wrap around her wrist gently. Felicity expected him to pull her hand away from his face and began to shift backwards. Before she could, his other arm moved quickly and wrapped around her waist, pulling a gasp from her lips as he kept her in place.

Oliver stilled and his hold on her loosened, clearly giving her to chance to move away if she wanted to. Instead, Felicity reached out and braced her hand on his shoulder, letting him know that she was okay. Before she could take another breath, he pulled her close into him and buried his face in her hair, his hands releasing her only to press to her back. She cursed herself for the rush of warmth that flooded her body at his closeness, sternly reminding herself that she was trying to comfort him. Ignoring the hum just beneath her skin, she relaxed into his embrace, her hand lifting to stroke the back of his neck soothingly. Part of Felicity had to wonder if she was still asleep and dreaming. She’d never seen Oliver this vulnerable. He’d definitely never sought her out for consolation. But his body was solid beneath her touch and his small shudders certainly felt real.

“Felicity,” he finally whispered, his warm breath washing over her neck.

She had to wonder if it was possible for her to heart to swell and break all at once. The host of emotions in the way he spoke her name caused Felicity to pull him even closer, one of her hands fisting in his shirt. They were awkwardly placed on the bed, with her on her knees and Oliver sitting with his torso twisted towards her. As soon as she considered the fact that it couldn’t have been comfortable for him, he lifted her nearly effortlessly and placed her sideways on his lap. Before Felicity could even react to their new position, his head turned and his nose skimmed over her jawline. Her eyes flew open at the tender movement and she nearly pulled away to look at him. But then his lips followed the same path and she tilted her head back ever-so-slightly.

It was only when the rough pad of his thumb brushed over her hip that she realized her shirt had ridden up. Before she could say anything, his lips were pressing to hers. Felicity stilled for just a moment before pressing in closer, her fingers ghosting over his cheek. His hand curved completely around her hip as the other delved into her hair. She gasped aloud when his teeth nipped at her lower lip. Her chest was rising and falling quickly when she pulled away, unconsciously licking her lips. The slightest taste of salt hit her tongue and Felicity knew that it wasn’t from any tears that she shed. Oliver was still crying. As she fought to clear her mind, Oliver’s hand slid her camisole even further up and traced his thumb over her lowest rib. With a deep, shuddering breath, she reached down with a shaking hand and caught his wrist.

“We-” Felicity swallowed hard and flushed at the slightly hoarse sound to her voice. “We shouldn’t.”

Oliver’s forehead dropped to her shoulder and she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping her words hadn’t caused him to shut down.

“You’re right,” he said, his voice as rough as hers.

“I do want to,” she breathed out, still clinging to his wrist. “I’ve wanted to for a while. I don’t think I’ve made much of a secret of that. But not...not when you can’t see me.”

Oliver’s head lifted and he looked at her with confusion. His free hand lifted, brushing over her cheek. Felicity knew what he was trying to say but she shook her head.

“I know you can _see_ me,” she said with a heavy sigh. “But you aren’t seeing _me_.”

He still looked puzzled. Clearly he wasn’t grasping what she meant.

“You’re grieving and you’re lonely,” Felicity said bluntly.

He recoiled, a clear sign that he was starting to close off. It was the last thing that she wanted.

“I’m there with you, Oliver,” she said quickly, pulling his hand away from her waist to entwine their fingers. “But that’s why we shouldn’t. I don’t want to jeopardize anything with the team and what we do. Even more, I don’t want to ruin what I have with you. I don’t want to stop being your girl.”

His eyes widened just a little bit but it was enough as she grimaced at her slip.

“Not your girl-girl,” Felicity said, closing her eyes as color rushed to her cheeks. “Your _girl_. I know it sounds like the same word but it means something different in my head.”

Oliver’s thumb brushed over her red cheek and she dared to peek at him only to see the slightest bit of amusement in his eyes. It caught her off guard and she looked at him fully to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

“I don’t want to do this just because you’re grieving and lonely,” she rushed out, finally getting to her point.

Oliver finally understood. But he shook his head before leaning forward to kiss her again. Felicity didn’t push him away. Her willpower was only so strong and kissing Oliver felt really good. When he pulled away, she expected him to lift her from his lap and leave the bed. Instead, he hovered just over her lips.

“That’s not why I’m doing this,” he finally spoke again, his voice still hushed.

Felicity’s heart skipped as she turned the words over in her head. Despite the fact that he was keeping the biggest secret in the city, Oliver was generally a terrible liar. Or he couldn’t lie to her, since she’d heard him spin a well-crafted lie to about a dozen other people that fooled them easily. Regardless, she could tell that he wasn’t lying right now. She knew that she should ask what his reasons were but instead she closed the distance between them and slanted her mouth over his. He still tasted of tears. Oliver’s lips parted as she kissed him, his tongue brushing over hers.

Suddenly, whatever tenuous restraint they possessed snapped and their kiss turned nearly feverish. Felicity gripped his shoulders tightly, scrambling to straddle his lap as his hands went to her waist, his tongue delving into her mouth. There was no soft refinement to their kisses. When Felicity pulled away to take a breath, Oliver cupped her neck and tilted her head back gently, his lips moving to her throat. Whatever air she managed to breathe in left her lungs in a rush as he trailed open-mouthed kisses over the column of her throat and scraped his teeth over her pulse.

His lips were a sharp contrast to the roughness of his stubble. Felicity knew that he was leaving her skin red and raw in the wake of his kisses. When he slid the strap of her camisole off of her shoulder and skimmed his chin over her soft skin, she let out a quiet whine and arched towards him, her hands fisting in his shirt. Then he suddenly pulled away and Felicity felt the loss of him immediately. Her eyes opened as he pulled her hands away. Her lower lip only just stuck out in a pout before he dragged his shirt over his head and tossed it away.

Felicity barely had time to run her hands over his shoulders and chest before he tugged on the hem of her camisole in question. She nodded without hesitation, raising her arms over her head. Oliver peeled it off of her heated skin, baring her to his sight. Felicity felt the briefest urge to cover herself with her arms. Then his eyes took in every inch of her bare skin, darkening with desire, and the urge disappeared as quickly as it had come. Her lips parted slightly as his hand traced a path from her hip, his knuckles sweeping along the underside of her breast.

“Oliver,” Felicity said, her voice barely recognizable to her own ears.

He must have heard something in the way she spoke his name because she was on her back before she knew it, her head lying on her pillow. Oliver was on his knees, watching her carefully as if he waited for her to push him away. Felicity reached out, grasping his hand and tugging him towards her as her legs opened to welcome him into the cradle of her hips. Her hands went to his back as his lips returned to hers. Felicity touched each and every scar with confidence, making sure that he knew she was unafraid of them and, by extension, accepting of every bit of what made him the Oliver Queen that she knew. He pulled away, looking down at her with a wide-eyed, awed gaze. His hands were braced on either side of her head and when she reached up to wrap her fingers around his wrist, Oliver followed the movement with his eyes.

“Touch me,” Felicity said assertively, taking them both by surprise as she placed his hand directly over her breast.

Oliver kneaded it gently, purposefully avoiding the one thing she wanted him to do the most. Her teeth sank into her lower lip, trapping a moan in her mouth. When he finally flicked his thumb over her nipple, heat shot straight to her lower belly and her hips lifted of their own accord. Oliver let slip a groan as she rocked her core against him, feeling his semi-hard cock even through his jeans. Then he began rolling her nipple between his finger and thumb. As good as it felt, it didn’t compare to the feeling of his lips closing around her other nipple. Her lustful cry urged him on and his tongue darted out to flick over it relentlessly. Then, tantalizingly, Oliver pursed his lips around her nipple and tugged it into his mouth, releasing it very slowly.

Pulling away, he dragged the flat of his tongue over her nipple at the same leisurely pace. A keening noise built in her chest and pushed out of her mouth in a sharp exhale as he repeated the same maddening process several times. Then he kissed his way to the other breast, applying his teeth to her nipple gently before laving his tongue over the peak. Felicity’s fingers slid into his hair, cradling the back of his head as shocks of pleasure spread through her entire body. When he lifted his head and surged up to kiss her again, she hitched her leg over his hip and rocked up into him, desperate for friction. Reaching between them, Oliver pressed her hips back down onto her bed, ignoring her whine of protest. It was only when his fingers slipped into the waistband of her thin pajama pants that she realized his intent and shivered in anticipation.

“Stop,” Felicity groaned as his fingers teased at the soft skin just above her panties.

Oliver froze, looking up into her eyes and she realized how her demand must have sounded to his ears.

“Stop...teasing,” she clarified through her haze of desire, gripping his upper arms tightly. “Please...I need...”

Before she could explain exactly what she needed, Oliver’s hand was gone. Felicity only felt the slightest bit of disappointment before his fingers were hooking in both her pants and underwear, dragging them down her legs as she lifted her hips to help. She felt his hand drift up her inner thigh, soft as a feather, and nearly cursed aloud. Any words died on her lips when he finally, _finally_ traced his fingers over her slick folds and teased at her entrance.

“You’re so beautiful,” Oliver spoke for the first time since they started this, his voice low and rough.

HIs words sent a thrill down her spine as the flush in her cheeks spread down to her chest. Though she didn’t trust his words, knowing that they could be born out of lust, she felt herself grow wetter at the sheer want in his voice and the hunger in his eyes. Pulling him down, she kissed him deeply, catching his lower lip between her teeth and sucking gently. Oliver’s chest rumbled and his thumb pressed to her clit, wrenching a moan from her throat. His nimble fingers knew exactly what they were doing, teasing and stroking and rubbing her to the brink. When he slid one, then two fingers into her slowly, Felicity tossed her head back against her pillow and bit down hard on her lip to muffle her cries.

“No.”

The husky command caused her walls to clench around on his fingers as he reached up with his free hand, gently tugging her lip free.

“I want to hear you,” Oliver said, his eyes blazing with desire.

“Oliver,” Felicity whimpered.

His eyes flashed with approval and he crooked his fingers just right, reaching that elusive spot as his thumb rubbed tight circles over her clit. Oliver held her gaze, pumping his fingers in and out of her as her lower belly coiled tighter and tighter. Felicity was barely aware of the noises she was making, some of them low and guttural while others were high and pleading. Her release washed over her like stormy waves crashing against a rocky shore. The intensity caused her toes to curl and her hands to scramble for purchase over her messy blankets. Oliver continued circling her clit, prolonging her orgasm until she was boneless.

“Too much,” Felicity complained, too sensitive for his touch.

He pulled his hand away, rubbing soothing circles over her hip as she tried to catch her breath, her chest heaving and her walls still quivering with aftershocks. When she finally managed to clear her head, Felicity opened her eyes. Oliver was sitting back on his heels, watching her recover with a shadowed look in his eyes. Pushing herself up onto her elbows, Felicity took a moment to test her weighted limbs before sitting up to reach for him. Oliver adjusted, pulling her to straddle his lap with gentle hands. As she scraped her fingers over his jaw and brushed her thumb across his lower lip, she felt a tremor of desire run through her despite her recent release.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Felicity said, well aware of how debauched she sounded.

She didn’t care and Oliver didn’t seem to either. He leaned into her, slanting his lips over hers as his fingers traced the length of her spine. Then he was pushing her away carefully, sliding off of the bed to stand. She felt the slightest bit of disappointment that she was left alone until his hands went to his belt.

“Condom?” Oliver said, the one word sending heat rushing through her body.

Felicity nodded quickly, turning to her nightstand. By the time she pulled the small foil package out of the small box and turned back around, he was kicking his pants and boxers from his ankles. Her breath caught at the glorious sight of him. It was fairly obvious that Oliver was above average in a lot of ways but she was glad to see that his impressiveness extended to certain other areas of his body. As he climbed back onto the bed, she started to lie back onto the pillows but he caught her around the waist before she could. She let out a soft noise of surprise when he pulled her close to him and turned them over until he was on his back and she was hovering over him.

Feeling almost shy now in spite of their position, she set the condom aside and scooted up, tentatively wrapping her hand around his cock. Oliver hissed out a sharp breath, his hips lifting as she stroked him at an unhurried pace. Felicity could see the tension in his muscles as he tried to hold himself still, his jaw clenched and his eyes piercing hers. As she let her loose hold grow firmer, a loud moan escaped his from his clenched teeth and she flushed with pleasure at drawing the noise out of him. Oliver caught onto her enjoyment quickly, reaching out to grasp her wrist.

“I’m not going to last very long if you keep doing that,” he said in a tight voice.

Felicity nodded slowly, though she felt that rush of satisfaction once more as he reached out with a slight tremor in his hand, picking up to condom. Oliver tore open the wrapper, wasting no time in rolling into it place before tugging her forward. Despite his words, she couldn’t help but tease him a little, straddling his hips as she rocked slowly, letting her folds slide over the length of his cock. She only managed to do it twice before he seized her hips with a warning growl of her name that she felt all the way to her sensitive core.

Reaching between them with one hand, she guided him to her entrance and inhaled loudly at the feeling. Oliver’s hands squeezed her hips gently, letting her know that she could move at her own pace. With her free hand braced on his chest, she let her eyes flutter closed and pressed down to let him enter her slowly, inch by inch. It was undefinable. He filled her so completely, making her body hum as they _finally_ became one. When she felt like she could take no more, Felicity stopped and let herself breathe. The slightly burning stretch battled with the satisfying feeling of his cock seated deep inside of her.

“You okay?” Oliver asked, restrain and concern in his voice.

Felicity opened her eyes and met his gaze, nodding her head several times.

“It’s a lot,” she admitted.

For the first time since he entered her apartment, Oliver’s mouth twitched into a smirk that had her pressing her hand to her forehead.

“Not that,” she said, gesturing down to where they were joined. “The whole thing. The feeling of you inside me. Not that you aren’t a lot. You are but that’s clearly not what I meant. It just _feels_ like a lot. I’m not making this any clearer, am I?”

“Felicity,” Oliver said softly, pulling her hand away from her face. “I know what you mean. It’s...overwhelming.”

She nodded, both relieved and frustrated that he managed to put into simple words what she had been rambling about. Before she could say anything else, Oliver’s hips sunk down onto the mattress, pulling him out of her slightly before he thrusted up into her. Felicity gasped, her hands flying up to grip his shoulders.

“Your turn,” he said, his hands going back to her hips.

Felicity swallowed hard before pushing herself to sit up, her hands lingering on his abdomen. Then she began moving, grinding and rocking and clenching down on him. It felt so incredibly right, even as she pressed her palm to the long, raised scar just beneath his ribs. The marks felt like part of him, just like his fathomless eyes and sinful lips. HIs hands didn’t stay still for long. Felicity closed her eyes as they went from her hips to her thighs then traveled up to span her back. She briefly imagined that the heat from them was a brand, leaving imprints of his hands wherever he touched her. When one of his hands slid up, she tilted her head back at the feeling of his finger and thumb teasing at her nipple again.

Her walls clamped down around him as her pleasure built up again, coiling tightly in her stomach. Reaching down, she began rubbing at her clit, his name a mantra on her lips. Her orgasm approached quicker this time and she was just on the brink from the combined feeling of everything when Oliver dropped his hands to her hips and pulled her off of him, earning a frustrated cry from her. He didn’t let her say a word, flipping her over onto her back and spreading her legs. Felicity reached down to touch herself again, desperate for release. He caught her hands before she could, pressing them gently into the mattress on either side of her head.

“Not yet,” he said, his voice low and heady as he nipped at her lip with his teeth.

Then he was filling her again, slow enough that Felicity couldn’t help but lift her hips in the hopes that it would speed up the process. Oliver wasn’t tricked so easily, reaching down to hitch her leg over his hip. At this angle, he pressed in even deeper and she dug her fingers into his shoulders, pleas for more falling from her lips. As he began driving into her at an even, almost gentle pace, Felicity let out a sob of need.

“Please,” she begged, trying to reach down for her clit again.

Oliver batted her hand away and she reached around his back, scraping her blunt nails across his skin before pressing her palm over the large burn that took up most of the lower part of his back. The skin was rough and mottled beneath her touch but she didn’t care, letting the feeling clear her mind long enough to realize that Oliver was trying to make this last as long as he could. With that in mind, she met him thrust for thrust, making their rhythm easier and earning an approving hum in return.

“Kiss me,” Felicity said, turning her face towards him.

Oliver didn’t hesitate to give her this, pressing their lips together in a heated kiss that put their others to shame. Feeling the sheer power of his body beneath her hands as he quickened his pace slightly had Felicity as breathless as the feeling of him inside of her. Her earlier words rang more true than ever. He was glorious and, in that moment, he was all hers. Felicity didn’t realize that she was talking aloud until he kissed her hard and pulled away with a shining look in his eyes.

“Yours,” he hissed out, making her entire body grow even hotter.

Felicity felt like there was a fire in her blood and it was all due to him. Pushing at his shoulders, she felt an immense amount of relief when he understood exactly what she wanted, sitting back on the mattress without even pulling out of her, his arms pulling her with him until her legs were wrapped around his back and they were closer than ever. Their movements grew feverish and Felicity nearly sobbed as his hand slid between them to rub at her clit. She came for the second time almost instantly, her face buried in his neck and her nails digging into his biceps as they continued moving together. Oliver wrung every bit of pleasure that he could from her body before thrusting into her with a hoarse shout of her name, his own orgasm overtaking him.

She didn’t realize that she was pressing kisses to his overheated skin until he turned his head to meet her lips. Their kisses were almost lazy now, their tongues languid and their trembling bodies too exhausted to move much at all. She groaned as he finally moved her, gently laying her back onto the pillows. Then he was gone and Felicity was working on catching her breath, staring at the ceiling of her bedroom. It didn’t take long for him to come back and she couldn’t help but smile at him as he cleaned her up with a warm washcloth from her bathroom. Then he was lying next to her, taking her in his arms with her head pillowed on his chest. They didn’t bother to get beneath the blankets, knowing that they were still too heated for that. Instead their legs tangled atop the covers and their hands entwined on Oliver’s stomach. His other hand stroked up and down her spine in a gentle rhythm as they laid there quietly.

“I don’t feel lonely anymore,” Felicity said just loud enough that he could hear.

Oliver didn’t say anything. For a long few moments, she was afraid that she’d said the exact wrong thing. Then he pressed a kiss to the top of her head and pulled her in closer. It was even easier to fall asleep like this, with her body sated and her heart feeling a little lighter than before. Just before she turned herself over to sleep, she heard Oliver whisper something that she didn’t quite catch. But she was too far gone to ask him what it was, mentally filing it away to ask him in the morning.

* * *

When she woke up, the first thing that Felicity noticed was the soreness in her limbs. She hadn’t been intimate with someone in quite some time so last night definitely had her working muscles that hadn’t been used in a while. Smiling to herself, she stretched out her legs and lifted her arms high over her head before reaching to the other side of the bed. It was empty. Her eyes flew open and she pushed up onto her elbows, a cold feeling settling in her gut when her sight confirmed what she’d felt. There was no one there and there hadn’t been for a while judging by the lack of warmth there. At some point, her blankets had been tucked up around her. The lamp on the nightstand was switched off and the only light was the sunlight coming in through her curtains. Looking around, Felicity searched in vain for any sign of Oliver. His clothes and shoes were gone, leaving behind only the scent of him surrounding her on the blankets and pillows.

“Oliver?” she called out, hoping that he might be in the bathroom or getting a glass of water from the kitchen.

There was no reply. Her heart grew heavier as she slid out of bed and grabbed a robe to wrap around her, tying it off at the waist before sliding her glasses on. Peeking into the bathroom didn’t yield any answers. Padding out into her hallway, she listened carefully for any noises that might alert her to his presence. Empty silence greeted her, telling her what she’d see as soon as she stepped out into the last place that he could possibly be. He wasn’t there. Instead, she saw a slip of paper on her counter that wasn’t there before. His messy handwriting was familiar even before she picked it up.

**_You’ll always be my girl._ **

Wetness flooded her eyes as she shook her head with disbelief. Oliver wouldn’t leave her there, alone, after the night that they had. After she told him that she felt so lonely until he came to her. He wouldn’t do that. But the evidence was right in front of her. He did do that. There was no point in denying it. Turning around, Felicity slid down until her back was pressed to her cabinet and her hand was clapped over her mouth to muffle her sobs. That was when she remembered the last thing he whispered to her before she fell asleep. As it turned out, her mind processed it without her really knowing it.

_“You’ll be with me the whole time.”_

Felicity let out a hoarse wail, her hand falling to clutch at her aching chest. Oliver didn’t just leave to go back to his house or to the foundry. Somehow she knew that he was gone. Gone from her bed. Gone from Starling City. Gone from her life. Gone.

This time, the tears that she tasted on her lips were her own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you think! Your response will help me decide whether I'm going to continue this or not. I have plans for future chapters but I want to measure interest.
> 
>  
> 
> **tumblr -[dreamsofolicity](https://dreamsofolicity.tumblr.com/)  
> **  
>  twitter - [ogteamarrow](https://twitter.com/ogteamarrow)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sixty-five days later, Oliver returns to Starling City where everything has changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you like this continuation. This part takes the story where I originally wanted it to go. It was supposed to be a oneshot but I realized that there's potential and decided to make it multi-chapter.
> 
> This picks up with the beginning of s2 but the story is going to be much different. As much as I love Slade Wilson as a character/villain, there is going to be no Deathstroke. I don't want to tell the same story with a few differences. I hope that you enjoy what I have planned.

_Fingers trailed lightly over his abdomen, tracing every ridge of his muscles and pronounced scar without discriminating. Oliver didn’t move, keeping his eyes closed as he relished in the touch. A soft exhale from the woman next to him nearly caused him to peek over at her but something stopped him. He wasn’t ready for this moment of utter peace to be over. Then her finger poked him hard in the side as she huffed again._

_“I know you’re awake.”_

_“Ow.”_

_A giggle from the other side of the bed finally caused his eyes to open. He couldn’t resist seeing the smile that he knew was on her face. Sure enough, her full lips were parted in a wide grin and her eyes were sparkling with amusement. The sunlight streaming through the windows hit her just right, causing her golden hair and milky skin to glow. She was lying on her stomach, her head propped on one hand as the other continued its eager exploration of his skin. Her radiance was almost too much to bear._

_“You’re so beautiful,” he breathed._

_She shook her head as her cheeks flushed._

_“And you’re always overly complimentary after you get laid,” Felicity said, brushing her thumb over the scar that came from Yao Fei’s arrow._

_“Overly?” Oliver said, frowning at her._

_She considered it for a moment._

_“Perfectly complimentary,” she amended._

_Oliver nodded, satisfied with that._

_“Just so you know, I think you’re beautiful even when I haven’t been laid,” he assured her._

_Despite the answering roll of her eyes, Felicity scooted closer to him._

_“You know, saying things like that increases your chances of getting laid again,” she said, putting her chin on his shoulder._

_“Really?” he said, feigning surprise._

_Felicity poked his side again and he groaned, his face screwing up in mock pain._

_“Poor baby,” she said, sticking her lower lip out. “Do you want me to kiss it better?”_

_Oliver nodded, still doing his best to look pathetic. Instead of ducking her head to kiss his side, she pushed up to press her lips to his. He weaved his fingers through her soft hair, his other arm wrapping around her waist to hold her tight to him. When her felt something wet on his cheek, Oliver opened his eyes and pulled away only to see that the sunlight was gone. The room was dark and deteriorated, with shattered windows and the walls crumbling around them. Felicity was still pressed close to his body but there was no smile on her face and her glow was gone. Tears streaked down her cheeks and she looked at him fury and devastation in her eyes. The hand on his chest constricted, her nails digging into his skin. Oliver didn’t pull away. He knew that he deserved this._

_“You left me,” her broken voice accused him._

_“I’m sorry,” he said, reaching up to cover her hand with his._

_Felicity shook her head, ripping her hand away._

_“It should have been you,” she hissed._

_Her voice sounded off, like it wasn’t entirely Felicity. When Oliver blinked, he was no longer in bed but in the ruins of CNRI staring down at the fading form of his best friend. Tommy glared up at him with hatred in his eyes._

_“It should have been you,” he said as blood dribbled down his chin._

_“It should have been you,” Laurel’s voice came from behind him where she was huddled in a halfway collapsed doorway._

_“It should have been you,” Sara choked on the seawater spilling out of her mouth._

_“It should have been you,” Slade roared, an arrow sticking out of his eye._

_“It should have been you,” Moira cried from where she knelt next to the lifeless body of her first husband._

_“It should have been you,” Thea spat, standing just behind their parents._

_Oliver squeezed his eyes shut, desperate for them to disappear. Just as he did, the cold blade of a knife pressed to his throat. He felt soft lips at his ear and the light scent of her perfume lingered in the air._

_“You left me,” Felicity whispered again before drawing the blade across his throat._

* * *

Sixty-two days after his return to Lian Yu and Oliver couldn’t escape his nightmares. They were his constant companions. He didn’t know if his stay on the island was permanent. All that he knew was that he had to live with his guilt without expecting absolution. The more days passed on the island, the more distanced he became from the past year. If it wasn’t for the vivid memories of his last few days in Starling City, Oliver might have thought it was all a dream. But he still viscerally remembered watching the life fade from Tommy’s eyes. He remembered the horror he felt upon seeing the Glades collapse and burn because Malcolm outsmarted them.

He remembered the sound of Felicity’s sobs in his ears as Verdant shook and crumbled around her. But he also remembered the softness of her skin and the eagerness of her lips as they pressed to his. The way that his hand curved so perfectly around her hip and how immensely good it felt to lose himself in her. And how his heart ached and screamed at him with every step that he took away from her. Oliver wanted to stay more than anything but she deserved to have someone better in her life and in her bed. He was shattered. He knew that if he stayed, her light would grow a little more dim with every passing day. It’s what he did to people and he wasn’t about to do it to her. So he walked, knowing that there was little chance that she’d ever forgive him. Oliver could live with that, even if it meant never seeing her again. Then one day changed it all, when a loud plane flew over the island.

Oliver waited with bated breath until it passed. But he had the strange feeling that it wasn’t just a coincidence. That feeling drove him to the beach where a discarded parachute confirmed his suspicions. Diggle stood alone on the rocky shore, checking his gear as the plane faded into the distance. With a wary expression, Oliver stepped out of the trees but kept his distance, knowing exactly why he was there. He pushed away the small voice in his mind that wished someone else would have come with Dig. There was no reason for him to expect her. Though Oliver knew that night would be his last in Starling City, he never anticipated what would happen with Felicity even when he showed up on her doorstep. Her light drew him in that night. He couldn’t bring himself to regret that even now as Dig turned to face him and anger flickered across his face.

“You’re a hard man to find,” he said, drawing himself up to his full height.

“You shouldn’t have come here,” Oliver said, keeping his distance.

“I would have emailed but this isn’t exactly a wi-fi hotspot,” Diggle said, gesturing around them.

It sounded like a joke that Felicity might have made. Her absence was palpable. They both knew it but neither said anything about it. With a sigh, Oliver turned back around, knowing that the other man would follow him. The walk gave them both time to gather their thoughts. It was hard not to appreciate Diggle’s somewhat calm way of dealing with things. If it were Thea or Felicity standing on that beach, he might have had to deal with their loud voices. It wasn’t until they walked into the plane wreck that he finally spoke again.

“I know why you’re here,” Oliver said, handing him a canteen of water.

Diggle simply stared at him for a few long moments before taking a long drink.

“I’m not coming back to Starling City. I can’t. My mission, my father’s list, it was a fool’s crusade. Merlyn destroyed the glades and Tommy...Tommy died. And the Hood couldn’t stop it. So don’t ask me to put it on again. Ever.”

He finished his speech and took a deep breath, hoping that might be the end of it. Oliver would take Diggle back to the mainland on the plane he brought to Lian Yu and make sure he found transportation back to Starling City before returning to his self-imposed exile. Because that was the way it was supposed to be and Oliver wasn’t going to let Diggle change his mind. Unfortunately, his friend seemed to already know all that.

“This isn’t about you being the vigilante,” Dig said, putting the canteen down. “It’s about you being Oliver Queen.”

That took him by surprise, not that he’d admit it. Oliver kept his face carefully blank as he remembered all the times that Diggle mocked him for speaking about himself in some form of third person. Yet here he was, using the different identities to appeal to Oliver.

“Your mother’s in prison, Oliver. Her trial’s coming up. Thea’s out on her own. Your family needs you,” he said, crossing his arms over his chest. “And Felicity needs you.”

Oliver’s eyes lifted and he met Diggle’s with uncertainty.

“If you know what happened between Felicity and I, you know that I’m the last thing she needs,” he said quietly.

He didn’t just hate himself for letting Malcolm destroy the Glades or for Tommy dying in his place. Oliver despised himself for leaving Felicity alone in that bed when she should have woken up in his arms. He regretted the decision before he even crossed the Starling City limit but it was too late to go back by then. So he knew that it was another in a long list of decisions that he would have to live with. But Diggle simply shook his head, making it clear that it wasn’t as cut and dry as that.

“I’m not going to pretend that I know everything that happened there but I’m not going to let you use that as an excuse either,” Dig said, stepping forward. “Your family’s company is suffering too. I don’t know everything about it but what I do is another company is using the bad press surrounding the Undertaking as an excuse to sniff around. They want to take over and from what I’ve managed to pick up from Felicity’s panicked ramblings, that’s not an ideal situation.”

Oliver clenched his jaw, looking anywhere but at his closest friend.

“I get why you had to leave, Oliver. Probably better than anyone else. I’ve been there,” he said, looking Oliver straight in the eye. “But it’s time to come home.”

With a sigh, Oliver pinned Diggle with a heavy gaze.

“I failed,” he said slowly.

Dig shook his head, stepping closer to him.

“When I got into this, I told you that I wasn’t just going to join up to save the city,” he reminded Oliver, who remembered that conversation clearly. “I was in it to save you too, even from yourself if necessary. I need you to trust that’s what I’m doing right now.”

Oliver knew that there was really no choice. His father’s legacy didn’t just reside in the list. It was in the company too. The company that Oliver had left ripe for a takeover. He had hoped that it would stand on its own but he now knew that was foolish. Glancing up at Diggle, he grappled for what to say.

“You sure you don’t just want to hit me instead of bringing me home?” he joked weakly, somehow knowing that would probably be way more satisfying for them both.

Diggle huffed out a laugh, clapping a hand on his shoulder.

“Trust me, man,” he said, looking at him with a slight smirk. “That comes later.”

Oliver was caught off-guard by how serious he sounded beneath the amusement. The anger that he’d seen in Diggle’s eyes earlier put a slight edge into his voice now. Oliver couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t have all the information and he wasn’t sure that he wanted it. Because if it could make Diggle want to punch him, what would it make Oliver want to do to himself?

* * *

It was clear that Diggle chose to drive through the Glades. There were a dozen other routes that he could take. If he was trying to entice him back to the life of being a vigilante, this wasn’t the way to do it. Because seeing collapsed buildings and rubble that still hadn’t been cleared only made Oliver think of Tommy in the middle of the ruins of CNRI, that hint of accusation still in his eyes as he asked Oliver if he’d killed his father. He lied. He didn’t want his best friend to look at him as a murderer in his last few moments but that was the truth. And Oliver wasn’t willing to be that man again. Tommy deserved better.

“Who is Blood?” he asked, seeing some repeating graffiti on several different boarded up buildings.

“An alderman from the Glades,” Diggle said in a low voice as he navigated through the streets carefully. “He’s stepped up in the aftermath of the Undertaking so he’s got a bunch of angry people looking to him right now. That means he’s got more power than he used to.”

Oliver filed the information away. It was an old habit of days that he wouldn’t be revisiting. But it wouldn’t hurt to look into this Blood. Even though he’d be choosing a three-piece suit over the green one, that didn’t mean that Oliver Queen couldn’t take steps to protect Starling City. He’d just have to be more careful with how he did it.

“Where are you taking me?” he asked.

“You said you wanted to check in on your sister,” Dig reminded him.

“Did you forget where my house is?” Oliver said.

“She’s not at your house.”

Mere minutes later, they were pulling into the alleyway beside Verdant. All in all, it looked much better than it did before. The external damage was largely fixed and the inside looked good as new. Someone had taken up the care of the club in his absence and he had a good feeling about who that was. It wasn’t quite ready to be reopened and Oliver had no doubt that their usual customer base didn’t venture far into the Glades these days. He only hoped that when it reopened, in just a matter of weeks judging by the progress, they would come back.

“Someone has to do something,” Oliver heard a heated yet familiar voice as he walked in. “And stand up for what’s right like he did.”

“The vigilante?” Thea scoffed with disbelief.

Oliver stopped in place, his two worlds colliding very swiftly. This was Thea’s boyfriend, the one who wanted to find the Hood. And his sister seemed less than thrilled about whatever dangerous things he was doing these days. Oliver could only imagine.

“He hasn’t been seen since the earthquake which means he _did_ get buried alive and isn’t coming back,” Thea said bluntly.

Her conclusion wasn’t entirely without merit. Oliver knew that was probably the pervading theory about what happened to his other self.

“I’m back,” he said, stepping forward.

Thea whirled around, a myriad of emotions flashing across her face at the sight of him.

“Ollie,” she breathed out, launching herself at him.

The hug was familiar and warm. Oliver was struck by how similar the situation seemed to that first hug almost a year ago when she flew down the stairs and breathlessly claimed that she knew, somehow, that he couldn’t have been dead. Her hair was shorter and somehow she felt older than just eighteen. But this was still his little sister and he held her tightly. Oliver missed this. But that ache in his heart somehow felt like only a fraction of what he deserved.

“You remember my friend, Roy?” she said, gesturing back at the kid who seemed like more than a friend.

“You’re still here,” Oliver said with a nod, reaching out to shake his hand.

“Always,” Roy said, returning the shake with a firm grip of his own.

When they separated, Thea leveled Oliver with an unimpressed glare.

“No calls, no texts, no postcards,” she said as Roy wisely stepped away. “It’s almost like you were on the island all over again.”

“Sorry I was…” he trailed off, unable to come up with a proper lie in the moment.

“You’re allowed to do what you want, Oliver,” Thea said, sounding exasperated already. “I know you needed space. Losing Tommy…”

Thea looked at him sorrowfully as Oliver inhaled sharply.

“But you didn’t stop to think about what you were leaving behind,” she said simply before turning around to approach the bar.

He glanced back at Diggle who met his gaze head-on, nodding once as if to agree with his sister. With a heavy sigh, he followed Thea.

“Have you made it to Iron Heights?” Oliver asked.

“To visit the woman who dropped a city on five hundred people? No thank you,” Thea said without looking up as she sorted through paperwork involving the reconstruction of the nightclub.

“That’s not what Mom did,” he said gently.

It was easy to see it from Thea’s point of view. He unraveled the mystery slowly and by the time he learned of their mother’s involvement, he was already expecting the worst. Thea got hit with it all at once during the press conference.

“Right,” Thea scoffed, shaking her head. “She had no choice. But guess what? She did.”

Oliver opened his mouth to argue but she cut him off with a look.

“I’m happy you’re home.”

“Me too,” he said with a sigh.

It was a half truth, which may or may not have been better than some of the complete lies he’d dropped on her over the past several months. Thea smiled at him, leaning up to kiss his cheek before turning her attention back to the paperwork. When he turned around, Diggle was smiling very slightly at something on his phone.

“Carly?” he asked, mildly curious.

The smile fell immediately as Dig’s eyes snapped up and he shook his head.

“Nah man,” he said, straightening up. “We pulled the plug on that.”

Oliver stopped short, regarding him with wide eyes.

“Why?”

Diggle sighed, looking as though he would rather walk across a field of burning coals than talk about this.

“It’s nothing to do with you,” he said, slipping his phone into his suit pocket. “But there was a dark cloud hanging over us that we…I…couldn’t escape.”

“Deadshot,” Oliver realized, getting a nod of confirmation in return.

“You’re not the only one at odds with yourself, Oliver. Turns out I couldn’t love her and hate him at the same time.”

He swallowed hard, realizing now that putting aside his alter ego meant breaking his promise to Diggle that they would catch Deadshot. Oliver wanted to make an exception, to promise him that they’d still get him, but the words caught in his throat. Diggle stared at him knowingly, as if he could tell exactly what Oliver was thinking.

“I-” Oliver cut off, unsure of what to say.

“Don’t worry about it,” Diggle said dismissively.

Oliver stopped him before he could turn away and shrug it off.

“I’m sorry,” he managed to say. “About you and Carly and about…”

“I know,” Dig said, cutting him off. “But I don’t want you to take that burden on yourself. It’s mine to bear.”

Despite his words, Oliver couldn’t help but feel like Diggle was letting him off the hook way too easily. How many more promises would he break without realizing it? The sounds he heard in the next few moments pulled him out of his thoughts and back to the reality of his return to Starling City. The familiar clicking of her heels on the ground was followed by a loud groan.

“Do you even know how badly I could use a cup of coffee right now? You know, if it didn’t smell _and_ taste so icky, ” her voice floated from the hallway that led to the private entrance. “This ginger tea isn’t really doing it for me. I could also use a giant bowl of strawberry ice cream. Do you think the drug store gives discounts to women who are…”

Felicity’s rapid speaking cut off just as she rounded the corner and abruptly stopped. Her wide eyes took him in as her mouth remained open in shock. Oliver barely considered approaching her before she took a slow step back.

“I don’t…” she shook her head, her hand shooting out to brace on the doorway.

It was then that Oliver noticed just how pale she was. There was an exhaustion in her eyes that he didn’t remember seeing even in the aftermath of the Undertaking. Even stranger, her lips and nails were devoid of their usual bright colors. Not that any of it made her look any less beautiful but she looked much different from the Felicity that he knew and it was with concern that he finally stepped forward. As soon as he did, Felicity’s hand shot up and she shook her head, her other hand clapping to her mouth. Diggle moved faster than Oliver had ever seen, even in a fight, pulling her to a trash can and gathering her loose hair out of her face just in time for her to release the contents of her stomach.

“Shit,” Thea cursed, hurrying behind the bar at the sight of Felicity hunched over the bin.

Oliver had no idea what to do. Panic short-circuited his mind as he went through a thousand different scenarios about what could be wrong with her. Judging by her clothes, she’d been at work before this. Felicity wasn’t the type to get regularly drunk and show up hungover, especially not to work. That combined with her exhaustion and generally unFelicity-like appearance nearly convinced him that she was seriously sick.

_“Felicity needs you.”_

Diggle’s words came back to haunt him in the worst way. Not only had Oliver left her after their night together, he left her to face this illness, whatever it was. While he grappled with that fact, Diggle helped Felicity over to the bar and sat her down just as Thea handed over a bottle of water. Even Roy helped, bringing down a smaller trash can from the office just in case she got sick again. It took longer than it should have for Oliver to approach, his heart growing heavier with each step. Felicity was taking slow sips of the water as Thea talked to her in a low voice and Diggle rubbed at her back comfortingly. He knew as soon as he entered her peripheral because she stiffened and lowered the bottle of water to the bar.

“I’m leaving,” she said, quickly sliding off of the stool.

“Wait, are you okay to drive?” Thea asked, reaching across the bar towards her.

Diggle looked similarly concerned, reaching out to steady her.

“I’m fine, thanks,” she said, setting the small trash can up on the bar before turning away.

Felicity didn’t stop at the sight of him this time but her furious glare struck him deep in his chest. There was definitely color in her cheeks now, a red flush that had nothing to do with embarrassment. As she rushed past him, he found himself rooted to the spot, trying to wrap his mind around what was happening. Thea and her boyfriend were still staring after Felicity with concern but Diggle was watching Oliver, clearly waiting to see what he had to say.

“What’s wrong with her?” he asked quietly.

Thea scoffed as Roy excused himself to empty out the trash can. Diggle simply sighed, looking as if he was trying to find a way to answer. When he didn’t say anything for several moments, Thea clearly grew impatient and made her way out from behind the counter, grabbing the office trash along the way.

“She’s pregnant, dumbass,” she said in passing.

With those three simple words, Oliver’s life changed completely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you think! As always, I use comments to gauge level of interest to decide if I'm going to keep going.
> 
> The next part is from Felicity's POV and follows what happened to her once Oliver left Starling City.
> 
>  
> 
>  **tumblr -[dreamsofolicity](https://dreamsofolicity.tumblr.com/)  
> **  
>  twitter - [ogteamarrow](https://twitter.com/ogteamarrow)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's POV of what happens after Oliver leaves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is coming at a weird time but I may not get another chance to publish this chapter today.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who is reading and commenting. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. I am going to make an active effort to respond to each and every comment that I get from now on.

Felicity didn’t let herself fall apart. Allowing herself to get lost in the wake of Oliver’s departure would be an insult to the people who had lost so much more than her. So she let herself cry on that kitchen floor until the tears wouldn’t fall anymore. Then she showered, washing his scent off of her skin, and forced herself to go back to work. Queen Consolidated was left reeling. Moira Queen was imprisoned and there was no Walter Steele left to take over as CEO. Many employees outright left, turning in their resignation letters to HR. Some had no faith in the morality of the company. Others thought they were abandoning a sinking ship before it dragged them down too. Her supervisor was among the latter group.

Felicity could have done the same. She’d received offers from S.T.A.R. Labs and Wayne Enterprises when she graduated MIT. They would probably accept her in an instant. But it didn’t feel right, leaving QC or the city. Her resolve was shaken two days after Oliver left and her phone pinged with a message about a successful transfer to her bank account. Certain that it was a mistake, Felicity logged onto her account and nearly spat her coffee all over her computer at the amount of money that she found there. Her initial reaction was shock. It didn’t take long for that to turn to anger as she realized exactly what happened.

With anger rising in her chest, she knew that she couldn’t anywhere near something with Oliver’s name on it because she might just be tempted to burn it all down. Without a supervisor, no one stopped her as she stormed out. The company was in chaos. They wouldn’t miss even their best IT worker for a few hours. Diggle answered his door on her fourth loud knock just as she was bringing her fist down for a fifth. Felicity stopped herself from smacking his chest just in time, taking several deep breaths as he looked at her with concern.

“He put a million dollars into my account,” she said through gritted teeth.

Diggle stepped back, opening the door wider so that she could walk in.

“It’s probably his way of saying sorry,” he said, grabbing his phone off of the couch as she paced back and forth.

Felicity let out a humorless laugh. If that emotionally constipated asshat thought that any amount of money could make up for what he’d done to her, he was sorely mistaken. It was only when she saw Diggle’s raised eyebrows that she realized she’d said that aloud.

“He sent me the same amount,” he said, holding up his phone.

She sighed with relief. There was still residual anger there but at least he didn’t send her money in the hopes that it would make up for her waking up in bed naked and alone, more raw and vulnerable than ever.

“What did he do to you?” Diggle asked.

Felicity shook her head, waving him off.

“It’s a severance package,” she said, leaning back against his kitchen counter. “No goodbye but at least we got a million dollars, right?”

“Felicity,” he said slowly, not letting her off the hook that easily.

“Dig, please,” Felicity sighed, looking at him. “Just… not now.”

He nodded, willing to let it go for her sake.

“You know I’ll drag him back from wherever he is if you want, right?” Dig offered.

She managed a smile, nodding her head as a lump rose in her throat.

“We know where he is,” Felicity said.

“In theory,” Diggle agreed, rubbing at his forehead. “Sometimes I wonder if he ever really left that island.”

She blinked quickly, willing her tears not to fall.

“I hate him,” she said, testing the words on her lips.

Diggle stared at her, looking all too aware of what she was trying to do.

“No you don’t,” he said.

Felicity squeezed her eyes shut, hugging her middle like it would hold her together.

“No I don’t,” she said softly, one tear sliding down her cheek. “I don’t want you to go get him. He left for a reason. It’s not up to us to drag him back.”

“If he started something he didn’t finish…”

“He didn’t. It’s finished,” Felicity said vehemently.

It would take thirty-seven days for her to realize just how wrong she was.

* * *

Nineteen days after Oliver left, a Queen walked into her office for the second time with a plea on the tip of their tongue. Felicity had never spoken to Thea before but it was hard not to remember how Oliver spoke of her. She was as beautiful as her mother and as intense as her brother.

“Walter said that I should come talk to you,” she said in greeting.

Felicity stared at her for several moments before pulling the red vine candy out of her mouth with an embarrassed flush in her cheeks.

“What can I do for you?” she asked, ignoring the ache in her heart as Thea smiled at her in a way that reminded her of Oliver in those rare light moments between taking down criminals.

“I’ve taken over Verdant,” Thea said, sliding into the seat across from Felicity’s desk. “It’s a big mess and I’m in over my head. Walter told me that you have a brilliant mind when it comes to, well, everything. I was hoping to take advantage of it. I’d definitely pay you when the club gets back up and running.”

Felicity shook her head, bringing a look of disappointment to the forefront of Thea’s eyes.

“I’ll do it,” she said quickly, wanting to reassure her. “But I don’t want you to pay me. I have more than enough money. Consider it a favor.”

Thea beamed at her, looking relieved.

“I will definitely owe you one,” she said.

That was how Felicity found herself sitting in the middle of floor of Verdant with Thea Queen, Big Belly Burger takeout, and a mess of papers spread around them. They’d been brainstorming ideas about everything from remodeling to a new inventory system and possible charity events to help the relief efforts happening in the Glades for the past few hours. Felicity understood Thea’s need to do something to atone for the actions of her mother. It was so much like Oliver’s desperation to fix his father’s wrongs.

“You knew Ollie, right?” Thea asked out of nowhere as they took a break to munch on their fries.

Felicity froze for just a moment before nodding slowly.

“I’m worried about him. I haven’t even seen him since the day after Tommy’s funeral,” Thea admitted.

“He took it hard,” Felicity said, at a loss for what else she could say.

Thea nodded, looking over at the unlit Verdant sign that hadn’t been damaged in the quake.

“I just…wish I didn’t feel so alone without him here,” she said.

Felicity’s heart ached for her. She was too young to have to carry all of this. For the first time since he left, Felicity felt anger towards Oliver on behalf of someone else. Reaching out, she hesitantly touched Thea’s hand.

“You don’t know me that well but…” she trailed off, trying to find the right way to say this. “You’re not alone, Thea.”

The other girl hesitated before smiling, a genuine smile that reached her eyes and eased some of the weight on her shoulders. When she squeezed her hand in return, Felicity was surprised to find that her own burden felt a little lighter in that moment.

“So, how do I convince vendors to sell alcohol to an underage club owner?” Thea asked.

“I’m sure we can talk them into it,” Felicity said with a small smile.

“Hell yeah we can!”

* * *

The first sign that something was off was when Felicity slipped out of bed twenty-three days after Oliver left, took a shower, and switched on her coffee maker before getting dressed. The smell of the life-saving drink usually relaxed her but Felicity couldn’t help but feel like something was off as the scent wafted through her apartment. It didn’t take long for her to give in and open a window in her living room to let some fresh air in. Yet she still poured herself a cup, a mistake in itself. As soon as she fixed it up with creamer and sugar and took a drink, Felicity darted to the sink and spat it out. It tasted _horrible_.

Certain that it was a bad brew, she poured every single bit of it out, closed her window, and set out for the day. Her body was craving the caffeine by the time she made it to QC so she got a cup from the coffee cart in the lobby of the building before heading to the elevators. With every bit of confidence that it would taste better, Felicity took a big sip of it before letting out a muffled screech, earning a few strange looks. With nothing around her to spit it in, she fought against her body’s urge to expel the foul-tasting liquid and swallowed it down.

“What the hell?” she said aloud, tossing the cup in a nearby trash can before heading into the elevator.

Something was going on. She was in some sort of twilight zone where all coffee suddenly tasted terrible. Eyeing someone from the marketing department who was sipping at his own cup from the lobby cart, Felicity deflated when he didn’t seem to react to it whatsoever. So it wasn’t the coffee that was bad. Something was wrong with her. She couldn’t drink the one thing that kept her going most of the time. This was going to be a _long_ day. By the time she made it to Verdant where Thea was overlooking some of the repairs to the building, she was the grumpiest she’d been in a very long time.

“Someone dragged herself out of the wrong side of the grave,” the younger woman snickered at the sight of her.

“You joke but I actually feel dead,” Felicity grumbled, sinking onto a stool. “Coffee has betrayed me.”

“Coffee?” Thea said.

She nodded with what she knew was a full pout.

“It all tastes terrible. All of it.”

Thea looked confused.

“Maybe you just got a bad brew,” she suggested.

Felicity shrugged helplessly, too drained of energy to explain.

“Well here. I have some.”

Thea walked behind the bar and poured out a cup for her, handing it over along with a few packages of sugar. Felicity didn’t bother with them, taking a wary drink of the black coffee and shuddering as she choked it down.

“I’m cursed,” she said miserably.

Thea reached out, taking the cup from her to sip at it.

“Felicity this tastes normal,” she said.

They stared at each other, trying to figure out what it meant.

“Maybe I’m just tired,” Felicity said.

Thea, however, was pulling out her phone and almost gleefully googling what it meant.

“Ugh I’m seeing a bunch of hipster blogs about how you’re drinking the wrong coffee. And a few other articles but unless you’re pregnant, I don’t think they’re going to be any help,” she said, snorting out another laugh.

Felicity banged her head on the table several times before looking up again.

“Can I get a bottle of water?” she asked.

Thea nodded, ducking under the bar to grab one from a mini fridge. She slid it over the bar before glancing over Felicity’s shoulder.

“Is he your bodyguard now?” she asked curiously.

Felicity glanced over her shoulder only to see Dig approaching.

“He’s a friend,” she said before taking a long drink of water.

One of the workers called out to Thea, pulling her away in time for Diggle to reach the bar.

“You gone down yet?” he asked.

She shook her head, sliding off of the stool.

“I’m ready when you are,” Felicity said with a sigh, though she knew full well that she wasn’t.

He tilted his head to the hallway and they slipped past everyone, making their way to the foundry. Felicity hadn’t been down there since the Undertaking and she couldn’t help but remember how terrified she’d been with the building shaking around and above her as she walked down the steps.

“This mess isn’t going to clean itself up,” Felicity said, sidestepping debris, broken glass, and overturned tables.

“Guess we’d better get started then,” Diggle nodded, rolling up his sleeves.

Coffee troubles forgotten, Felicity focused almost all of her energy on not thinking about Oliver as she cleaned her way through a room full of memories of him.

Looking back, she’d wish that she paid more attention to the coffee thing.

* * *

The first time she realized that it was something serious, Felicity was folded in half next to a tree in the park, her stomach heaving. Diggle was standing behind her, rubbing at her back until she finished and straightened up with a groan.

“Can we get away from the hot dog cart?” Felicity groaned, knowing that the smell is what triggered her nausea.

Dig guided her far away and she sat on a bench slowly, greedily inhaling fresh air.

“How long has this been going on?” he asked, sitting next to her.

She shrugged one shoulder, pulling a water bottle out of her work bag. They’d come to the park to take a walk. Felicity knew what Diggle was doing every time he suggested that they spend time together. Despite the fact that his relationship with Carly was quickly falling to pieces, he was more worried about her than he was about himself. It made her want to both hug and smack him.

“You can’t tell me that smelled good to you,” she said with a grimace.

“It wasn’t bad enough to make me sick,” Diggle said.

Felicity stared off at the playground in front of them, aware of her still sensitive stomach.

“It’s probably just something seasonal,” she said with a shrug.

“This isn’t allergies, Felicity. You’ve been paler than usual for the past couple of weeks and I’m fairly certain you’ve lost weight. You should get checked out.”

“I hate going to the doctor,” she said, pouting at him in the hopes that he would let it go.

Diggle sighed, shaking his head.

“At least take the rest of the day off and go home. Get some rest,” he encouraged.

She felt annoyed at his hovering, taking a long drink from her water to keep from snapping at him. Felicity knew that he was just trying to help.

“I’ll call in,” she said, reaching into her purse to pull out of her phone as she stood up.

Just as she did, her vision darkened for just a moment and she felt herself staggering to the side. Diggle caught her before she could fall and she took a deep breath as her sight returned.

“Sorry,” Felicity mumbled.

“You’re definitely going to the hospital,” he said gently, sounding more concerned than ever.

She nodded, knowing better than to argue at this point. A little under an hour later, she found herself in a hospital bed staring warily at a nurse.

“Why the needle?” Felicity asked, bouncing her leg nervously.

“We need to draw some blood. It gives us a better chance of diagnosing you.”

Glancing over at Diggle, she bit down on her lower lip at his nod of encouragement.

“What are you looking for?” she said, holding her arm out.

“The doctor doesn’t like to speculate,” the nurse said with a sympathetic smile.

Felicity had to look away as she started the process, closing her eyes while her free hand gripped the edge of the exam table. This wasn’t good for her already delicate stomach. She tried to pretend like she was somewhere else. Anywhere. Somehow her mind went all the way back to the night before Oliver left. With a sharp inhale, Felicity tried to push it out, hating that she’d opened herself back up to it. But all she could think of was Oliver’s lips brushing over her skin and his hands exploring her body. She was actually grateful for the small pinch in her arm that distracted her for just a moment. When she opened her eyes at the nurse’s confirmation that it was over only to see Diggle staring at her strangely. Felicity turned her head away from him, certain that she was blushing.

“How long is it going to take?” she asked, focusing on the nurse.

“Not too long but I’d make yourself comfortable. We’ll get you out of here as soon as possible. You should eat some of those crackers.”

Felicity watched her go with the vial of blood before leaning back onto the uncomfortable pillow with a sigh. They barely paid any attention to the soap opera playing on television as she munched on the crackers. After about thirty minutes, Felicity finally spoke.

“You should go home,” she said, looking over at Diggle. “I’m fine.”

“You know I’m not leaving you alone,” he refused.

She stared at him for several long moments before turning her head away as tears burned at her eyes. Wiping them away quickly, Felicity took a deep, shaking breath.

“If only he felt that way,” she said, staring up at the ceiling.

“Hey-”

“He came to me,” Felicity interrupted Dig, closing her eyes. “I’m actually pretty sure that I was the last person to see him before he left. He spent the night at my apartment and didn’t bother to wake me up before he left the next morning.”

She let out a scoff, shaking her head as she opened her eyes to look over at him.

“You know what his goodbye was?” she said, her voice breaking slightly. “A fucking note. One sentence. That’s all I’m worth, apparently.”

“You know that’s not true,” Diggle said.

“I know,” Felicity snapped, dangerously close to using her loud voice.

She took another slow breath, sitting up again.

“I am worth so much more,” Felicity said, scrubbing at her face.

She felt Diggle approach and didn’t fight him as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Felicity laid her head on his chest, closing her eyes again.

“Oliver wasn’t himself,” he said.

“When he slept with me or when he left me alone the next morning?” Felicity asked, her voice slightly muffled.

“I think you already know the answer to that. He wouldn’t have come to your door if that wasn’t exactly where he knew he was supposed to be.”

She willed herself not to cry, though it took a lot of restraint to swallow the lump in her throat. That was when the doctor chose to re-enter the room.

“That was quick,” Felicity said, straightening up despite her bone-deep tiredness.

“Well you caught us on a slow day,” he said with a smile. “Plus I knew what I was looking for.”

“I thought the nurse said you didn’t like to speculate,” she said, picking at the hospital bracelet that she was wearing.

“Sometimes it’s an easy diagnosis. We just need to confirm.”

She nodded, folding her hands in her lap.

“Give it to me straight,” Felicity said with a nervous smile.

Dig’s hand went to her shoulder, squeezing lightly as if to show her that he was there no matter what.

“You, Miss Smoak, are pregnant. About five weeks along, I’d estimate.”

Felicity stared at him, her eyes wide and her mind refusing to accept the explanation. Dig grew very still next to her, clearly just as shocked.

“That’s impossible,” she finally said, shaking her head. “We-we were safe.”

“There isn’t a single form of birth control that guaranteed to prevent pregnancy. Even the pill isn’t one hundred percent effective.”

She pushed away the urge to demand what the damn point of them was if they didn’t work. This wasn’t the doctor’s fault. This time when the lump rose in her throat, Felicity didn’t bother to hide it. Tears swam in her eyes as she let out a sob, burying her face in her hands. She distantly heard the doctor say he’d print out her discharge papers along with a recommendation for prenatal vitamins if she was going to continue with the pregnancy. Then he was gone, leaving Diggle to comfort her as she let herself feel it again. It was time for her to fall apart. Felicity just didn’t know if she was going to be able to put herself back together again when it was all said and done.

* * *

The next two weeks were the longest of her life. Felicity used several of her valuable vacation days to get time off, needing it to process everything that was going on. She kept her distance from everyone and everything, burying herself in the one thing that had gotten her through every single other crisis in her life. Her intellect. Felicity went through every legitimate book and website that she could find on the subject of pregnancy. She was determined to know everything before she made a decision about the tiny life inside of her. The first human contact she had with anyone outside of her food delivery people was when Diggle and Thea showed up on her doorstep together a week and a half into her self-imposed exile.

“You look like hell,” the latter commented when she answered.

“I brought you a salad,” the former said, sighing at Thea’s blunt comment.

Felicity opened the door wider, allowing them both inside.

“I don’t want a salad,” she said, closing and locking it.

“I told you Big Belly Burger was a better idea,” Thea said, shaking her head.

“The smell of meat makes her feel sick,” he said in his own defense.

“Only when it’s in the middle of cooking,” Felicity told them both.

She learned that the hard way when the smell of someone grilling on their balcony wafted through her window and made her dart for the bathroom.

“What’s going on?” Thea asked with concern. “He wouldn’t tell me.”

Felicity felt grateful for that. She didn’t really know how to tell Thea that she may well be an aunt, depending on what decision she made.

“It’s… a long story,” she said simply.

“What’s with the wine?” Dig asked, distracting them.

She glanced at the several bottles that were on her table, sighing heavily. To Thea, it looked like she was considering a binge-drinking session. To Diggle, it looked much more dangerous than that.

“I love red wine,” Felicity said, crossing the room to pick up one of her favorite bottles. “I’m trying to decide if I want to get rid of it or not. I feel like it’s a metaphor, for what’s going on.”

She gestured to her middle, as if Diggle needed any further explanation. Thea, however, gasped as her hands flew up to her mouth.

“You are pregnant,” she said, her voice slightly muffled. “I thought I was just teasing with the coffee thing.”

“That makes two of us,” Felicity said, taking the salad from Diggle. “Back to the wine. Whether I keep it or get rid of it, I think that either decision pretty much answers what I’m going to do about my situation. It’s not like with coffee. The decision to quit drinking that was pretty much made for me. But the wine still smells just as good. And I bet it tastes just as good. So what do I do? Keep the wine? Or keep the blueberry?”

“Blueberry?” Dig said, his eyebrows raising.

Felicity nodded, looking up at him.

“That’s what size it is. A blueberry.”

“How do you know?” Thea asked, her eyes wide.

She looked both curious and hesitant, as if she might cause offense by asking.

“I’ve pretty much read up on everything. I’m done being surprised by this,” Felicity said, patting her stomach before turning away to put her salad in the fridge.

“You’re looking better,” Diggle said.

Felicity nodded in agreement. She had gained back a little bit of the weight she’d lost and managed to get more rest without having to worry about work.

“I think the prenatal vitamins are helping a lot,” she said, gesturing to the bottle on her counter that had become a fixture in her life ever since that hospital visit.

“And your appetite?”

Felicity looked over at him.

“Well my morning sickness, which is a really misleading name by the way, is worse than ever. It’s about the right time for that. But I’m also starting to crave some foods so I guess that’s good news,” she said, sitting down at the table with them. “Now enough about me. How is the club coming along?”

“We’ll be ready to reopen in about a week,” Thea said proudly, sitting up straighter. “You should come see it all. You’ll be proud of me.”

For the first time in a few days, Felicity managed a smile.

“I’m sure it’s amazing,” she said.

“I hope so,” Thea said, looking the happiest she’d seen her since the Undertaking. “Hey, can I use your bathroom?”

Felicity nodded, pointing down the hallway. As soon as she was gone, Diggle cleared his throat. Clearly he had something to say that the younger Queen shouldn’t hear.

“I got in contact with someone in the bureau. He knows someone who knows someone who is stationed in China. They found a guy who rented out a plane to one Jonas Dearden.”

Her breath caught in her throat as she looked down at the table.

“There’s a GPS on the plane. I have the coordinates.”

She stood up, pacing away from him as she took a deep breath.

“You know how I feel about it,” Felicity said.

“Don’t you think that things have changed a little bit?” Dig asked.

She turned back around to face him.

“What? You think Oliver comes back and he’s suddenly whole and healed? Ready to step up and be a father?” Felicity demanded quietly to make sure that Thea didn’t hear her. “You said yourself that he never left that island. I’m sure as hell not going to be the reason that you bring him back.”

“You’re not the only reason,” Diggle said, standing up as well. “That girl in your bathroom is right up there too. She misses her brother more than anything and, by the way, she would be delighted to learn that she may have a niece or nephew, if you decide to keep it. His family’s company is close to the breaking point. He has to step up in more ways than one and yes, I am including you in all of that.”

Felicity stilled, staring him down for a long few moments before turning to pick up one of the bottles of wine.

“This would be a really nice time to be able to drink,” she said longingly, taking the chance to gaze down at it just before putting it away in a cardboard box she had on the floor by the table.

When Thea came out, Felicity was sliding the last bottle into place before lifting the box onto the table.

“Wow. You made your decision that fast?” she asked.

“It’s a blueberry,” Felicity shrugged, pushing the box towards her invitingly. “I can’t stop thinking about that. I guess it’s kinda hard to go back.”

Thea looked confused but didn’t comment on it.

“Anyone want some ginger tea?” Felicity asked, moving to the kettle atop her stove. “It helps with morning sickness, if that means anything to you two.”

“I’ll stick with wine,” Thea said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

“I’ll just get myself a glass of water,” Diggle said, standing up.

“Yeah sure, leave me alone to drink the nasty shit,” Felicity grumbled as she filled up the kettle with water.

Standing in her kitchen with two people who had become a very surprising support system for her, Felicity couldn’t help but wonder if she might just be okay after all. As she looked at the box of wine, she considered it for a moment before crossing the room to pick out one bottle.

“I’m keeping this one,” she said, mostly to herself.

She felt their eyes on her as she replaced it in her cabinet. Felicity didn’t want it for the contents. She didn’t actually want to admit why she wanted it. Because that would mean admitting a lot of other things that she wasn’t ready for. But for now, the Lafite Rothschild 1982 would stay right where it was.

* * *

“So how is the… what fruit are we comparing the little genius to this week?” Thea wondered.

Felicity laughed as she climbed into her car, feeling exhausted after a day’s work. Tired was a pretty normal state for her nowadays.

“A grape, which is coincidentally what I am craving right now,” she said, closing her door behind her.

“Now that’s just wrong,” Thea said, and Felicity could envision her shuddering in disgust. “Can you possibly come to the club? I need someone to peek at some last minute paperwork from the contractor I hired. He’s saying that I owe him extra money and I want to make sure he isn’t trying to screw the eighteen-year-old over.”

“Yeah I just need to stop by the grocery store. I am officially out of tea. And I need grapes.”

“See you soon!”

Two weeks had passed since Thea found out about the pregnancy and Felicity decided on keeping the baby. It was a big change for her, calling it a baby along with whatever fruit it happened to compare at that moment. With Diggle out of town supposedly helping Carly settle in her new house with his nephew, Felicity sought nearly all of her human interaction with Thea, who didn’t seem to mind at all. Even Roy was starting to warm up to Felicity, though he seemed a little bit uncertain whenever she made fairly blatant references to the fact that she was pregnant.  At the grocery store, she had to struggle not to pile her cart high with everything that she was craving, including ice cream and sea salt chips. By the time she made it back to her car, Felicity was exhausted once more. It wasn’t easy to be at work when all she wanted was a nap at any given moment. The fact that her clothes were starting to get just a little bit tighter didn’t help at all. Felicity was certain that someone at QC would figure it out but so far she’d managed to fly under the radar, much to her relief. When she reached Verdant, Felicity parked outside, barely noticing any other cars on the street. As she walked inside, she could hear the low murmur of voices from the main room but assumed it was Thea, Roy, or the workers.

“Do you even know how badly I could use a cup of coffee right now? You know, if it didn’t smell _and_ taste so icky,” she called out to Thea, making her way down the short hallway. “This ginger tea isn’t really doing it for me. I could also use a giant bowl of strawberry ice cream. Do you think the drug store gives discounts to women who are…”

Felicity cut off, stopping short at the scene before her. Diggle was standing to her right, leaning against a pillar, but that was not who caught her eye. He was in the middle of the room, staring at her with awe and hope mingling with regret in his eyes. She knew that he wanted to approach her and took a step back, hoping it would warn him off. Rage and devastation rose up in her but neither were as violent as the wave of nausea that hit her stomach. Oliver finally took a step forward but she moved, clapping a hand to her mouth while putting up her other hand in a silent command for him to keep his distance. Before she knew it, Diggle dragged her over to a trash can and had her hair out of her face in an instant as she expelled the contents of her stomach loudly. Distantly she heard Thea curse and move as she coughed and remained place for a few moments to make sure that it was all out of her system. Finally straightening up, she let Diggle help her over to the bar but didn’t let him off the hook.

“You should have told me,” was all that she said before sliding onto a stool.

Roy appeared next to her, holding out a smaller trash can.

“Just in case,” he said, his eyes darting away from her.

“Thanks,” Felicity said, taking it from him.

After propping it on her lap, she accepted a bottle of water from Thea with a grateful smile, nodding when the other girl asked if she was okay.

“I’m guessing the grape isn’t too into grapes,” Thea said quietly.

“I guess not,” Felicity sighed before taking a slow drink.

Diggle rubbed at her back comfortingly and she hated that it was working. Felicity definitely wanted to be mad at him for not warning her that he was bringing Oliver back. Oliver. She could see him moving out of the corner of her eye and stiffened immediately, lowering the bottle of water from her lips.

“I’m leaving,” she said, making the decision in an instant.

Felicity couldn’t bear to be in the room with him for another minute, especially since she hadn’t had time to prepare herself.

“Wait, are you okay to drive?” Thea asked, reaching across the bar towards her.

Felicity nodded shakily, side-stepping Diggle’s attempt to steady her.

“I’m fine, thanks,” she said, setting the small trash can on the bar.

With that, she turned away and started to head towards the door. Felicity didn’t stop when her eyes landed on Oliver. The pure concern she saw written across his face made her even angrier. He had no right, but she knew that wouldn’t stop him. Not bothering to hide her emotions, she stalked past him all the way to the hallway before finally stopping to take a breath, bracing her hand on the wall.

“What’s wrong with her?”

For the first time in sixty-five days, Felicity was hearing his voice. And he sounded as though his heart had been torn from his chest. She silently cursed the tears that sprung to her eyes. Diggle’s heavy sigh was the first response, followed by Thea’s very blunt answer.

“She’s pregnant, dumbass.”

With a sharp gasp, Felicity forced herself to move again, rushing out the door. She couldn’t be anywhere near him right now. It was too much at once. Though her world had been quickly changing, Felicity felt like this day was the biggest of them all. Nothing would be the same from now on and she would definitely have to face it at some point. Just not right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you think!
> 
>  
> 
>  **tumblr -[dreamsofolicity](https://dreamsofolicity.tumblr.com/)  
> **  
>  twitter - [ogteamarrow](https://twitter.com/ogteamarrow)
> 
> PLEASE READ: I am coming up on my birthday and I always like to do fun fandom stuff around this time. So I am taking prompts for Olicity fics on my tumblr. You can send in anything, from AU to Canon Divergence to whatever you want. Anything goes. [Just send a message to my inbox](https://dreamsofolicity.tumblr.com/ask), anonymous or not, and I'll gladly fill your prompt to the best of my ability. You don't need a tumblr account to send anonymous messages. I'll also post them here on ao3.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity has to cope with Oliver's return, as well as a surprising development at Queen Consolidated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is probably the angstiest thus far, which is saying a lot I think. I think it's time for me to announce that I never end a story with a bad ending. I don't like writing anything but happy endings so you can use that to comfort yourself because things are getting even rougher. It has to get bad before it gets better, basically.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who is showing support for this fic through reading and commenting. I appreciate every single one of you so much.
> 
> If you are a visual person like me, here are Felicity's outfits:
> 
> [First Outfit (fire escape)](https://urstyle.com/styles/1832852) | [Second Outfit (Queen Consolidated)](https://urstyle.com/styles/1832860) | [Third Outfit (front porch)](https://urstyle.com/styles/1832877)

Felicity knew that he was there. It was hard not to feel his presence. That he was back in Starling City was enough to put her on edge. The fact that he was in the vicinity of her apartment didn’t make it better. She couldn’t really describe how she knew that he was there. It was a feeling deep in her bones. An awareness that she didn’t want to have. All that she wanted to do was curl up in her bed with a pint of ice cream. But she was pregnant and Oliver knew about it. It wasn’t exactly easy to forget about that. She couldn’t bring herself to relax and pacing her living room anxiously wasn’t doing a thing to help her. It was impossible to just ignore him.

So she slipped on a pair of flats, grabbed a sweater, and climbed out onto her fire escape. The night air was just on this side of chilly, making her pull the sweater tighter around her middle. Felicity could hear the sounds of the city at night. A few scattered car horns and distant muffled music from a club one block over. She couldn’t see much, even with the lights that kept her street well-lit, but Felicity knew without a doubt that he could see her. So she leaned back against the wall, tilted her head up towards the sky, and waited, counting each breath she took until she heard a soft creak from below.

He made the noise for her benefit, that much she knew. Felicity tensed up nonetheless, her hands clutching at the long sleeves of her sweater as she kept her gaze fixed on the starless sky. Oliver didn’t say a word, keeping his distance from her even on the small fire escape. Felicity wasn’t going to be the first one to speak. She wasn’t even sure that she’d say anything to him at all. She knew that any words she spoke might come out harsh, no matter how true they may be, and she may regret them later.

“How are you feeling?” Oliver asked, finally crossing that invisible barrier.

The sound of his voice didn’t relax her like it usually did. Felicity didn’t answer. She was back to counting her breaths. Only it took her a while to realize that her breaths unconsciously matched his. It was painful, realizing how easy it was to orient herself around him. She felt the weight of everything bearing down on her. It wasn’t the right time. She couldn’t do this.

“Go home, Oliver,” Felicity said, her voice slightly scratchy.

She felt, rather than saw, him tense up. It clearly wasn’t what he wanted to hear from her. Her vindictive side found it hard to give a damn what he wanted. Her forgiving side wanted to take the words back as soon as she spoke them. She was at war with herself. Having Oliver there in the midst of all that was too much. So she turned away, knowing she shouldn’t have come out there in the first place. Then he spoke again, the barest whisper that she almost didn’t hear.

“Felicity.”

His voice caressed her name as if it was the most precious thing in the world. As if it said everything he wanted her to know all at once. She closed her eyes, refusing to let it pass through the walls she’d been slowly building up over the past two months.

“I’m sorry for leaving,” Oliver said just a little bit louder, taking her pause as invitation to continue.

Felicity’s eyes snapped open and she finally looked at him fully. He looked even more tired than that night, with shadows under his guilty eyes and heavy shoulders.

“I don’t give a damn that you left,” she said, her voice made sharp by the anger stirring in her chest. “I know exactly why you left. It’s _how_ you did it that I will never, ever forget.”

Oliver didn’t say anything. He simply watched her. It made her blood boil even hotter. The least he could is answer for what he did.

“I woke up alone,” Felicity said, the words pouring forth as if a dam had broken. “Naked, in my bed, _all alone._ And you left me a fucking note. Do you have any idea how utterly excruciating that was for me?”

She was facing him fully before she knew it, her arms crossed over her chest defensively.

“All that you had to do was talk to me. You knew that I would listen. You didn’t have to leave me like that. It was cruel and what makes it worse is the fact that somewhere in your mind, you thought that you were protecting me.”

Oliver didn’t deny it. He didn’t say anything. Felicity stared at him, inwardly screaming at him to open his mouth. To at least try to explain himself. But he stared at her, waiting for something. She briefly wondered if he was waiting for her to give him an opening, some way for him to redeem himself. But she wouldn’t. Not now. Maybe not ever. But she certainly wasn’t ready for it.

“Go home,” she repeated, keeping her voice as distant as she could. “And please don’t come back.”

The words cut a knife through her own heart so she couldn’t imagine what they might have done to Oliver. His sharp intake of breath nearly broke through her resolve and she felt the sudden urge to reassure them both. Because whether she liked it or not, the life growing inside of her was connecting them. Now that he knew about it, she couldn’t push him from her life entirely. So she paused just before climbing through the window, taking a deep breath.

“When I’m ready, I’ll come to you,” Felicity said.

It had to be enough for him. She wasn’t ready to offer up anything more that that one sliver of hope. Once she climbed inside and shut the window behind her, Felicity barely managed to shed her sweater before she collapsed on the couch with her heart aching so deeply that she thought it might give out on her at any moment. The tears came quickly and before she knew it, hoarse sobs were forcing their way out of her mouth as she buried her face in her hands and let emotions take over.

* * *

Felicity threw herself into her work over the next week. It was the only thing she could turn to that didn’t constantly remind her of Oliver, even though she worked in a building with his name on the side. She felt bad for largely avoiding Thea and Dig but she was afraid that either they would want to talk or Oliver would be with them. Felicity still wasn’t ready to deal with any of it. When she was called to a meeting with the interim CEO and the Chief of Technology, Felicity wasn’t entirely sure what to expect.

As she rode the elevator up to the office that used to belong to Moira Queen, and both of her husbands before her, Felicity’s paranoia took over. She managed to convince herself in that short amount of time that someone found out about her pregnancy and they were about to force her out of the company. So she walked out of the elevator with purpose, barely paying the CEO’s executive assistant any mind as he directed her inside. Luckily Felicity had learned from her experience with Walter and kept her firmly closed, though it was tempting to demand an explanation for why, exactly, she was being fired when women got pregnant and continued working all the time.

“Ah Miss Smoak,” Harold Conway, the interim CEO, gave her a smile, stepping out from behind his desk. “Have you met Vanessa Harris? Our Chief Technology Officer?”

“I haven’t had the pleasure,” Felicity said, reaching out to shake her hand. “I really admire you, Mrs. Harris. I have ever since I started working at Queen Consolidated.”

She felt proud that she managed to keep her babbling under control. Even better, Vanessa looked impressed, nodding at her.

“We have something in common, Miss Smoak. I was just telling Mr. Conway how commendable you are.”

Felicity didn’t quite understand and it must have shown on her face.

“Queen Consolidated has had its difficulties lately. I’m sure you’ve noticed that more than a few employees have chosen to pursue their careers at other companies,” Harold said.

She nodded, folding her hands in front of her patiently.

“We are well aware that you are one of the brightest minds in your field,” he continued cut in, smiling at Felicity. “The fact that you chose to remain at Queen Consolidated even though you could have had your pick of jobs at any number of companies including S.T.A.R Labs and Wayne Enterprises shows a loyalty that we strive for in our employees. That is why we’ve brought you here today.”

“The IT department is getting applications quicker than any other in the company. It is going to be fully staffed within the next few weeks and we’ve decided to make some changes so that it won’t be too crowded,” Vanessa told Felicity.

“We carefully considered what we should do while also taking into account that Queen Consolidated desperately needs some good press right now,” Harold said.

Felicity’s head was moving back and forth between them as she tried her best to understand exactly what they were saying.

“I’m being moved out of the IT department?” she asked.

“Yes,” Vanessa said with a nod, picking up a file with her name written across the top. “We are making you a program manager.”

Her eyes widened as she reached out to take the file.

“That’s… wow,” Felicity said, not expecting this at all.

Not only was she not getting fired, it seemed that she was getting promoted.

“Mr. Harris and myself, as well as the head of Applied Sciences, want to look into partnering with another company to introduce entirely new, innovative technology to Queen Consolidated in every department, on every level. We want to commit to a clean energy project and finding technology that paves the way is very important. We would like you to manage the endeavor.”

She stared at them, her mind refusing to process this. It was impossible. For all of her exceptional genius, she was far too young and inexperienced to take on this big of a project. Not only would they be replacing the hardware in the company, there would likely have to be a complete overhaul of the internal system as well. And she would be in charge of it.

“I’m not sure that I understand exactly why I’m being chosen for this,” Felicity said with a confused shake of her head. “This can’t just be about loyalty.”

“You’re right,” Harold said, nodding his head. “We received a glowing recommendation from Walter Steele when we asked about your qualifications. He had nothing but praise for you and encouraged us to appoint you to this position.”

“Not only did he encourage us, he said that we would be fools to choose anyone else,” Vanessa added.

Felicity looked down at the file, her mind racing as she tried not to freak out completely.

“We think, along with the board of directors, that it is also a good idea to showcase how Queen Consolidated is looking to the future, not just with clean energy but with our own employees. Taking a chance on younger, fresher faces with brilliant ideas is a good way to start that. This will of course complement the marketing department’s focus on a new start as soon as we start transitioning to the company’s new CEO,” Harold said.

Her heart skipped in her chest as she looked up, meeting his gaze.

“The new CEO,” she repeated dumbly, knowing that her reaction to all of this probably wasn’t inspiring much confidence in her ability to do the job that they were offering to her.

“Oliver Queen,” Vanessa said.

“He came to the office a few days ago and announced his intent to take his place as head of his family’s company. It will be a slow transition but worth it in the end,” Harold said confidently as Felicity tried hard to keep her face neutral. “We are hoping that all of this will silence those who are predicting a hostile takeover or worse.”

Felicity nodded, searching her mind for something to say.

“Did Oli… is Mr. Queen aware of any of this?” she asked as she gestured to the file that she held, wondering if Oliver suggested this promotion as a way to make up for his mistakes.

She was relieved when they both shook their heads. At least Felicity didn’t have to take that into account.

“It’s all very overwhelming,” Vanessa said, rescuing her before she had to say anything else. “It isn’t going to happen all at once. Take a few days, read the information in that file about Palmer Technologies and some of the changes we’ll be making here. We’ll meet again and you can tell us what you think.”

“Thank you,” she said, relieved that they didn’t want a response right now. “I will definitely do my homework.”

“Thank _you_ ,” Harold said, reaching out to shake her hand. “Queen Consolidated is lucky to have you, Miss Smoak. Let us know if there’s anything we can do to help you.”

She managed a smile, bidding them both a quick goodbye before turning to walk away. The ride down back to her cubicle in the IT department felt far too quick. Felicity needed more time to reflect on all of the new information. It would just have to wait for the end of the day. Not only did she have to think about all of the work that would go into this project and the pressure that would be on her shoulders, she also had to take into account the fact that she was pregnant. It was a lot to think about and she had very little time to do so.

* * *

Felicity couldn’t sleep. No matter how many times she tried to empty her mind of all thoughts of Oliver, their night together, the baby, and her potential promotion, they would sneak their way back in. Around one in the morning, she somehow knew that sleep would not come. Sitting up, she bit back a blistering curse and reached over to her nightstand to pick up her phone. Thea would undoubtedly be awake. She had a nightclub to run and that often kept her up late. Dig was a light sleeper and would probably wake up if Felicity called him. But they were not who she wanted to talk to.

There was one person that she needed to talk to the most and he was coincidentally the one person that she’d spent the last week avoiding like the plague. Felicity made up her mind in a split second, not even bothering to call or message him before sliding out of bed to dress quickly. She took nothing but her wallet, phone, and keys with her. Felicity hadn’t ever been to the Queen mansion before but she knew exactly how to find it. This late at night, there was hardly any traffic so the trip was quick. She didn’t count on the guard waiting to stop her at the gate with a suspicious look on his face.

“Hang on,” she said before he could send her away, picking up her phone.

Felicity put the phone on speaker once she dialed the number, listening to it ring before a confused voice answered.

“Felicity? Is everything okay?” Oliver asked, sounding as though he’d just woken up.

She felt the slightest pang of guilt over waking him up but quickly shook it off.

“I’m at the gate to your house. Can you tell the guard to let me in?” she asked without answering his question.

The guard looked surprised, glancing from her to the phone and back as they both heard the sound of someone moving on the other end.

“It’s okay, Anthony,” Oliver said, sounding more like himself. “You can let her through.”

“Yes sir,” he said, stepping away from Felicity to press a button on the console inside of the little brick structure.

Felicity hung up the phone before Oliver could ask anything else, knowing that she’d no doubt see him as soon as she drove up. Waving at the guard, she made her way up the unfamiliar and ridiculously long driveway until she finally found herself pulling through the circle drive and stopping in front of the house. Sure enough, Oliver was waiting for her on the porch wearing a threadbare grey t-shirt and black sweatpants. Felicity stared at him through the window, identifying the slight panic on his face as she breathed through her own uncertainty. This was a probably a terrible idea. But it was also what she needed at the moment.

So she cut her car’s engine and climbed out, leaving everything but her keys inside. Oliver didn’t say anything as she made her way up the steps, his eyes scanning every inch of her to ensure that nothing was wrong physically. Felicity fiddled with her keys nervously, unsure of how to put her thoughts into words at the moment. Seeing him was nothing short of painful. She couldn’t help but remember every second of that night. Every kiss. Every touch. Every tear that she shed the next morning. It was all entangled in her mind. The good and the bad all mixed up with one another. She hated that she couldn’t have one without the other.

“Is something wrong?” Oliver asked, stepping forward.

Felicity nearly shook her head before reconsidering. Finally opening her mouth, she steadied herself before speaking.

“A long time ago, you told me that I would always have someone to talk to about my day,” Felicity said, her voice wavering only slightly.

Oliver nodded slowly, looking as if he wanted to reach out to her. Wisely, he kept his hands to himself.

“I really need that right now.”

The confession hung in the air between them until he turned just slightly towards the door.

“Do you want to come in?” Oliver asked.

Felicity shook her head, taking a step back.

“I’d rather stay out here,” she said.

As awkward as it was, Felicity needed the open air and the space that the porch afforded her. She turned away from him, sitting down on the top step with her feet on the next one down and her arms crossed over her knees. Oliver eased himself down beside her, leaving a good foot and a half between them. Somehow he knew that she needed the space. He read her too easily. He knew her too well.

“You’re not allowed to talk,” Felicity said quietly, staring out at the landscaping.

“Okay,” Oliver agreed, though he sounded wary about the condition.

She didn’t speak for a while, closing her eyes as she tried to gather her thoughts.

“Seventy-three days ago, I slept with someone,” Felicity said, pretending like Oliver was an objective outsider rather than that someone.

She heard him inhale deeply next to her but didn’t let it distract her.

“I woke up and he was gone,” she continued, her voice just loud enough so that he could hear her. “I knew why he left. He was in mourning and he was angry at a lot of people. At his mother for her part in the Undertaking, at his father for leaving behind a mess for him to clean up, at his best friend for dying, and at his best friend’s father for killing him. Most of all, he was angry at himself because he couldn’t stop any of it. He felt like he failed, so he left. I knew all of that. I understand his reasons and I know that he did what he needed to do. The one thing I didn’t know was why he couldn’t manage to wake me up and at least tell me that he was leaving so I wasn’t left behind to pick up the pieces while feeling alone and used.”

Felicity paused, letting herself breath for a moment after the outpour of words. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Oliver rubbing his index finger and thumb together with a clenched jaw. He was clearly trying to get a handle on his emotions. She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the next part of what she had to say.

“Thirty-four days ago, I found out that I’m pregnant,” she said, her voice breaking on the last words as tears filled her eyes.

Oliver’s head turned towards her but she didn’t meet his gaze. Felicity knew that she would see regret and guilt there. It wouldn’t make her feel any better. She already knew he was feeling that way. Oliver took on guilt more than anyone she ever knew.

“Diggle was with me,” Felicity continued as a tear slipped down her cheek. “But I still felt so alone. I had to make the decision on my own and I did. I haven’t looked back since, even through the first doctor appointment and the lifestyle adjustments. I’ve read up on everything that’s going on with this tiny little life so I know that they can make a fist now. Something they’re probably doing all the time with your genes all mixed up in there. And they are going to start growing fingernails soon. Actual tiny fingernails.”

She shook her head, almost unable to believe it.

“Nine days ago, he came back,” Felicity said, a sob rising in her throat. “And I am still so overwhelmingly angry at him over how he left that I can’t even talk about our baby with him. So I’m still alone.”

Oliver let out a soft sigh of her name but she shook her head.

“You’re not supposed to talk,” she reminded him.

He fell silent again, though she knew that there was so much he probably wanted to say.

“Today I got a job offer at Queen Consolidated. A promotion, actually,” Felicity continued, wiping at her cheeks with one hand. “It’s an amazing opportunity and I know that I shouldn’t even hesitate to accept it. But in six and a half months, I’m going to have a small, dependent, helpless little human being to look out for. So what do I do?”

She fell silent, staring forward with panic and anger and fear all coursing through her. Her shoulder shook as she tried her best not to cry. It was no use.

“What do I do?” Felicity whimpered, shaking her head. “I’m alone. Even with Dig and Thea and…”

She trailed off, refusing to say “you” when she didn’t feel as though she actually had him.

“I’m alone,” she said again.

Felicity felt Oliver’s hands gently pulling her in as her entire body trembled. She pressed her face into his shirt, gripping it tightly in a fist as she cried. One hand rubbed up and down her arm as the other cupped the back of her head carefully. She felt him press a kiss to her forehead.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, somehow holding her just right despite their awkward position. “You’re not alone.”

The words caused her to tense up and Oliver felt it. His hands went still just before she knocked them away and scrambled backwards, needing space between them.

“Tell me the truth, Oliver,” she said, staring him down. “What was I to you that night?”

He didn’t say anything. Felicity waited, wanting to hear it from him. But nothing came.

“A soft bed?” she demanded, her words growing angrier. “A warm body? Someone you could use to forget your troubles for a little while? I guess Laurel wasn’t available so you figured you’d go for the next best thing, right?”

Oliver recoiled as if she’d struck him, guilt and anger showing on his face in equal measure.

“I didn’t come to you that night thinking that would happen, Felicity,” he said in a low, tight voice.

“Then why did you come?” she said.

He sighed, raking a hand down his face to rub at his jaw.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“That’s bullshit,” Felicity told him.

His eyes flashed to hers and he was clearly surprised at her bluntness.

“Why did you come to me, Oliver?” she demanded of him again. “Why seek _me_ out? Why come to my door? Why come to my bed? Why kiss me? Why?”

“Because I need you!”

His voice finally grew louder, filling the air around them only to leave it silent again. Felicity stared at him, her eyes wide and her hands curled into fists at her sides. Oliver closed the distance between them again, gently cupping her tearstained cheeks in his hands as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“I need you,” he whispered.

Felicity shuddered, lifting her hands to close around his wrists. She didn’t pull away. She just held on, closing her eyes and breathing him in.

“I needed you too,” she finally said, her whispered voice losing all of its heat. “But I woke up… and you were gone.”

“I’m sorry,” Oliver choked out. “Felicity I am so sorry.”

She exhaled, squeezing his wrist gently.

“I know you are,” Felicity said.

As she said the words, they both heard the sound of a car coming up the drive and knew that Thea was home. Felicity moved away from him, finally pulling his hands away from her face to drop them in his lap. Oliver stared at her hopefully, his eyes pleading with her not to go. But her heart was still fractured and aching with every second that went by. She couldn’t stay.

“Felicity?” they heard Thea say. “Ollie? What’s going on?”

Felicity shook her head, pulling her hands away from Oliver.

“Please,” he said as she stood.

She bit down hard on her lower lip, gripping her keys in her hand as she walked down the steps.

“I’ll see you later,” she managed to say to Thea, squeezing her arm as she passed before climbing into her car.

As Felicity turned it on, her headlights flickered to life and illuminated the front porch where Oliver was still sitting where she left him, his hands limp in his lap and his eyes on her. Thea was standing next to him with her hand on his shoulder. She was likely asking him what happened. He didn’t move. Felicity forced herself to look away as she pulled around the drive and left. The part of Felicity that hoped they would get better after talking disappeared almost completely. If possible, they were even more broken than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> **tumblr -[dreamsofolicity](https://dreamsofolicity.tumblr.com/)  
> **  
>  twitter - [ogteamarrow](https://twitter.com/ogteamarrow)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity makes a few decisions and Oliver sets out to make things right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am blown away by all the support for this fic. Thank you so much!
> 
> If you are a visual person like me, here is Felicity's outfit for the chapter: [At Queen Consolidated](https://urstyle.com/styles/1832888)

**OLIVER**

He felt Thea’s eyes on him as he sat at the table drinking a cup of coffee. Raisa had offered him every kind of breakfast food imaginable but Oliver turned down each one, assuring her that he wasn’t hungry. Oliver hadn’t had much of an appetite since returning from the island. Oliver knew that there were better things to do than wallow in guilt but he was at a loss. Tommy was dead. HIs mother was in prison. Diggle looked at him with a strange mix of sympathy and anger. And Felicity. She had more of a right than anyone to hate him. Seeing her so utterly shattered the night before had ignited a self-hatred in him that rivaled anything he’d felt before. Oliver nearly begged her to stay but kept his mouth shut, knowing that he had no right.

So she left and he spent the rest of the night thinking. About her. About himself. About Tommy and his mother and… and their baby. A baby. Oliver never anticipated this. When he came back from the island, his mission was simple and straightforward. Save his city. He didn’t count on John Diggle and he definitely didn’t expect Felicity Smoak. Now there was one more life that he already felt the need to protect. That he already felt making its way to his heart. The living proof of one of the best and worst nights of his life. Oliver didn’t know what to do about any of it.

“If you leave again, it’s not going to be your bodyguard that drags your ass back here.”

He lifted his head, surprised at Thea’s words. She was glaring at him from across the table paying no mind to the fact that her plate of food was growing cold.

“I’m not leaving,” Oliver said with a frown.

She raised one eyebrow at him, making it clear that she wasn’t wrong for taking that leap.

“You wouldn’t be the first guy to run away from the girl he knocked up,” she said harshly before getting up to refill her own cup of coffee.

Oliver stared after her, unsure of what to say.

“Did she tell you?” he asked.

“She didn’t have to,” Thea said, facing away from him. “It was pretty easy to figure out after what I saw last night. I didn’t really want to believe it. You’re not that guy anymore. The one from before the island. But it is really hard not to think about him right now. Because cutting and running from Felicity is exactly something that he would have done.”

Oliver’s anger rose up. Both at himself and at Thea.

“That’s not what happened,” he said in a low voice.

“Really?” she asked, turning around.

“I didn’t know that she was pregnant before I left,” Oliver told her.

Thea scoffed, closing her eyes as if to pray for patience.

“But you knew you slept with her, right?” she asked, looking back at him. “You knew that she had feelings for you when you did it?”

Oliver stared at her, blinking out of surprise.

“Oh come on,” she said, slamming her cup down on the counter. “Even after you left and she was pissed as hell at you, all I had to do was talk to her for five minutes to realize that she’s half in love with you.”

He stayed sitting even though his body wanted to move, to pace, to get out of there before Thea said more things that he didn’t want to hear. But Oliver forced himself to remain in place, bouncing his leg as he stared at his enraged sister.

“I didn’t know,” he said quietly.

Thea stared at him, clearly trying to figure out whether he was being honest.

“You didn’t want to know,” she accused him, hitting the nail right on the head. “You came back from that island with no intention of letting anyone in. Not me, not Mom, not anyone. Felicity probably could have waved a bright neon sign in front of you and you still would have ignored it.”

Oliver clenched his jaw, looking away from her. When Thea let out a heavy sigh, he half expected her to leave the room. Instead she crossed over him and sat in the chair closest to him, reaching out to take his hand.

“I know you left because of Tommy,” she said as he looked at her. “But you’re back now. And I need you. Felicity needs you. She’s pregnant, Oliver.”

“I know that,” he said, his voice heavy. “If I could go back and… I would change everything. I wouldn’t leave her.”

Thea stared at him, looking as though she was slowly realizing something.

“Ollie,” she said, the anger fading from her eyes. “If you feel that way about her, then make it right.”

She made it sound incredibly easy. In truth, Oliver really had no idea how to approach Felicity again after their last conversation. Something was broken between them and he wasn’t sure that it could ever be fixed. When he said as much, Thea gave him a sad smile.

“It’s not just the two of you, Oliver,” she reminded him. “What choice is there?”

He nodded, realizing that she was right.

“Can you tell me about what happened when I was gone?” Oliver asked.

He knew that he didn’t deserve it but he needed to know everything that Thea knew. She nodded, keeping a hold on his hand as she started talking about everything from the club to Roy to how quiet the house had been and how nice it had been to have Felicity around. Oliver found himself listening raptly, soothed by her openness.

**FELICITY**

When Felicity went back to work two days after her confrontation with Oliver, everything felt different. There was just something about the building, about the people, about herself. Nothing was the same even though to the outside eye, nothing had actually changed. No one else seemed to notice. They all went about their days like everything was normal. So it had to be her. She’d tossed and turned after getting back to her apartment, unable to get any sleep with Oliver and everything else still on her mind. So she wasn’t exactly in the best state of mind right now. It was lack of sleep. That’s why she felt strange. Or maybe pregnancy brain. Felicity heard that was a real thing.

When she got to her desk, she immediately saw the one thing that was definitely different about it. There, sitting to the right of her keyboard, was a simple glass vase with a small bouquet of purple hyacinth flowers. It was a rather plain arrangement but she could see the beauty in the simplicity of it. There wasn’t a note attached but she didn’t need one to know who it was from. Letting her purse fall to the ground, she dropped into her chair and reached out, letting her fingers brush lightly over the soft petals. She sat there for a long time, just contemplating the flowers.

“Those are really pretty,” Amelia, a fellow IT tech said, leaning over the wall of Felicity’s cubicle. “Do you know what they mean?”

Felicity tilted her head to the side questioningly.

“My dad is a florist and he used to say that flowers and their colors have meanings. People sometimes choose arrangements based on what they mean,” she said.

She looked from Amelia to the bouquet.

“Purple is historically the color of royalty,” Felicity said.

It would make sense, considering the last name of the man who sent them to her. In any normal circumstance, she would mock him relentlessly for taking the symbolism that far. But their circumstances were far from normal. She wished that they could go back to how it was. She missed him.

“It’s an apology,” Amelia told her, oblivious to her thoughts.

Felicity looked up at her.

“Does it work?” she asked.

Amelia simply shrugged.

“It’s usually the thought that counts,” she said before stepping away.

Felicity was left alone with her thoughts and the pretty purple flowers. Leaning forward, she inhaled their sweet scent before turning her attention to her work. She didn’t know what to think of them right now, so she would have to push all thoughts of them, and Oliver, to the side. There was so much on her plate and she had to write an email to Vanessa Harris. She’d made a decision about the promotion. It didn’t come as a surprise to her when Vanessa’s assistant called down and let her know that she was requested up in her office. Felicity rode the elevator up with her heart in her throat, preparing herself for this conversation.

“May I ask why?” Vanessa asked as soon as she entered the office.

Felicity took a deep breath to steel herself, folding her hands in front of her.

“It’s not the right time for me to take on more responsibility in the company,” she said, holding her head high. “Due to personal aspects of my life, I have doubts about my ability to give the work the attention that it deserves.”

“This is the opportunity of a lifetime,” Vanessa said, stepping out from behind her desk with a look that was torn between annoyance and confusion. “Anyone would jump at the chance.”

Felicity swallowed hard, hating that she’d disappointed this woman that she admired.

“In normal circumstances, I would be one of those people. I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” she said, keeping her voice as calm as she could. “I hope that you don’t take this as a reflection on yourself. It’s not personal and-”

“I took a chance on you, Miss Smoak,” Vanessa said, cutting her off. “It feels personal to me. So I will ask again, why are you refusing this position?”

Felicity met her gaze, knowing that she could make up some bland excuse about family responsibilities. There was no need to tell her the full truth. But she’d find out anyway in just a few months when it became impossible to hide.

“I’m pregnant,” she said, the words falling from her mouth. “I’m not technically supposed to tell anyone before thirteen weeks. That’s what all the books say. But you do deserve to know why I’m turning you down. I appreciate you going out on a limb for me but I can’t accept. I’m sorry.”

Felicity turned to walk away, fearing that the hormones would take over any minute. She wanted nothing more than a good cry after giving up her dream job. But she couldn’t do that here.

“Felicity,” Vanessa said with a sigh.

She’d hadn’t used Felicity’s first name until now. It stopped her in place before she could make it out of the door. Turning around, Felicity waited for her to speak again, determined to show her respect.

“Are you turning down this job because you are afraid that it will reflect poorly on the company to promote a pregnant, unwed young woman to head up an important project?”

Tears welled in Felicity’s eyes against her will. She looked away from Vanessa, nodding once as she stared at a beautiful piece of artwork on the wall.

“And you think that having a baby will give people yet another excuse to second-guess whether you truly belong in this building?” Vanessa said.

Felicity nodded once more. She was really good at this guessing game.

“I just have one more question,” the older woman said, stepping closer to Felicity. “Why the hell does it matter?”

Felicity’s eyes snapped back to her just as a tear slid down her cheek.

“What?” she said.

“You know that you are qualified for this position, yes?” Vanessa said.

“I do,” Felicity agreed.

“Good. Because I know the same thing. Mr. Steele knew it, or he wouldn’t have recommended you for the job. Mr. Conway knows it. He’s highly impressed with your abilities and your work ethic. Mr. Queen will undoubtedly feel the same when he takes over the company fully. I intend to have a long meeting with him in the next few days so that he will understand exactly why people like you are the future of Queen Consolidated,” Vanessa said.

Felicity blinked several times, overwhelmed by everything. The mention of Oliver nearly pushed her over the edge into full on crying. She managed to keep a hold on herself, inhaling deeply.

“In six and a half months, I’ll have to take maternity leave,” she said, keeping her voice level.

“So you start the job as soon as possible, work full time in the office for the next few months. Hire your staff, choose people that you know you can trust. Then you start transitioning to working remotely as you delegate what you can’t do from home. That way when you do take your leave, you can continue to run the project. It is possible, Felicity. You just have to be willing to do it. Have faith in yourself.”

She stared at Vanessa, unable to understand. This was supposed to be an easy, clean refusal. She never imagined that the other woman would fight this hard to get her to take the job.

“Why are you doing this?” she asked, unable to rein in the words.

Vanessa gave her a smile before gesturing to a plush couch. Felicity sat down, unable to resist.

“Because almost thirty years ago, a woman in a leadership position at this company put her faith in me. In fact, promoting me to head up my own project was the last thing she did before going on maternity leave to give birth to her son,” Vanessa said, sitting down across from her in an armchair. “That woman was Moira Queen. She took a chance on me and when I asked her why, she told me that she saw something in me. But she also said that one day, I would be in a position to do the same for another young woman with a bright future. Moira has fallen on hard times but she is a dear friend of mine and I have the feeling that she would see in you exactly what she saw in me if she had the chance. I made the right decision in choosing you, Felicity. Now you just need to make the right decision for yourself.”

She glanced down at her lap, considering Vanessa’s words carefully. She wondered how Vanessa would react if she knew that she was carrying Moira Queen’s grandchild. The thoughts were pushed away just as quickly. Felicity wasn’t ready to think about that.

“I want this job,” she said without looking up. “But I’m not willing to give up my baby to have it.”

“I think you owe it to yourself to see if you can have both.”

LIfting her head, she met Vanessa’s eyes head on.

“I still need to think,” Felicity said, hoping that she would be given at least a day.

“We’ll meet in Mr. Conway’s office on Friday at eleven in the morning. I expect you’ll have an answer then?” Vanessa said.

She started to agree, relieved at the two days she was given, but then she quickly changed her mind.

“I have a doctor’s appointment at eleven on Friday,” Felicity said, her hand gesturing to her abdomen.

Vanessa looked at her with understanding.

“Will you be done by two?” she asked.

“Easily,” Felicity said with a nod.

“Good,” Vanessa said before standing up.

Felicity did the same, smoothing out her skirt and wiping away the drying tears on her cheeks. As she headed towards the door, Vanessa stopped her with a call of her name.

“Congratulations,” she said, smiling at her. “And keep holding your head up high. You’ll need that confidence in the coming months.”

Felicity nodded, giving her a grateful smile in return. She walked out feeling much different, wondering if the surprises would ever end. Once she made it back to her desk, Felicity’s eyes fell on the flowers again and she leaned forward, smelling them once more. They weren’t magical flowers of forgiveness. Her heart wasn’t healed by their sweet scent and soft petals. But as she stared at them, Felicity let herself think about all that she’d be facing in the coming months, especially if she took the job. She would need him. Their baby would need him. Even more, she didn’t want to think about a life without Oliver Queen. Whether she liked it, he was under her skin. It wasn’t easy to push him out of her mind, whether she decided to forgive him or not.

**OLIVER**

He wasn’t expecting the text. Anyone else might be confused by the context but he knew enough to read the underlying message. It wasn’t a declaration of forgiveness, Oliver didn’t dare to hope that he’d earned that much yet. But it was something. So he did as the text instructed without a second thought and found himself knocking on Felicity’s door less than an hour later as thunder rumbled outside, threatening a storm. The door opened mere seconds after he knocked and she was there, her loose hair falling around her shoulders in damp waves and her face scrubbed of all makeup, showing the dark circles underneath her eyes and paleness of her skin. Oliver couldn’t help but think that it was because of him. She stepped aside after a moment, letting him inside with a nod. He could have collapsed out of relief but he made his way into her kitchen instead.

“Thanks,” Felicity said, nodding to the two Big Belly Burger bags in his hands. “I was craving it but I was already in my pajamas.”

“Anytime,” Oliver said, pulling out the contents.

She nodded, moving past him to pull out two plates. Oliver accepted one of them while she loaded up the other with her burger and fries.

“You sure you want me to stay?” he asked.

Her eyes moved to him briefly and she nodded once.

“I wouldn’t have told you to get something for yourself if I didn’t,” she said, picking up her milkshake as well. “I also didn’t want to be the only one eating but that’s beside the point.”

With that, she moved out of the kitchen and sat down at the table. Oliver hovered where he was, unsure of what she wanted him to do. He wasn’t going to mess this up by assuming anything. With a heavy sigh, Felicity reached out with her foot and pushed on the chair that was across from her.

“Sit down, Oliver,” she said, the slightest hint of annoyance in her voice.

He did, starting in on his own food. It was hard to keep his eyes off of her but he forced himself to look around the apartment. It hadn’t changed over the past few months. He didn’t really expect it to. It was hard not to remember every detail about that night. How she’d invited him in without hesitating. How perfectly she felt in his arms. How soft her lips felt against his. How good her body felt against his. When his eyes caught on the flowers sitting on the bookshelf in her living room, he couldn’t help but stare at them. Felicity noticed the direction of his gaze and her cheeks turned pink as she looked back down at her plate.

“They’re really pretty,” she said, pulling one leg up on the chair to tuck beneath her. “Thank you.”

Oliver wasn’t surprised that she knew they were from him. He let himself look at her again, taking in his fill. If she noticed, she didn’t say anything.

“I missed you,” he said before he could stop himself.

She froze, her breath catching in her throat as she closed her eyes. It lasted for just a moment before she opened her eyes and lifted her head to meet his gaze. Her eyes swam with emotions, anger and sadness and accusation and relief among them. Oliver prepared himself for an onslaught of words, just like the night before. He deserved it. He’d take it from her because at least it meant she was talking to him. She looked like she was struggling with what to say. When she finally opened her mouth, he prepared himself for the worst. He should have known better. Felicity Smoak would truly never stop surprising him.

“I missed you too,” she said quietly, dropping her eyes back to her plate.

Oliver swallowed hard, her words burning through him and making him relax slightly. They lapsed into silence, both eating again. When he looked up again and saw, to his horror, a tear making its way down her cheek, he dropped his burger and considered jumping up to take her in her arms. But that might just make her push him away just like she did last time he tried it.

“Felicity,” he said, remaining where he was. “You have to know that I would give anything to go back and change what I did.”

Her small hand curled into a fist atop the table. Oliver watched her, waiting for her to speak.

“I know how sorry you are,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I know that you would go back and change it. You don’t have to keep saying it.”

Felicity’s eyes lifted, her gaze burning as she stared at him.

“What are you going to do now, Oliver? That’s what I want to know. Because we’re having a baby,” she said, leaning back in her chair. “A real baby that is going to need care and love and everything that we have to give. If you’re not prepared for that, I want you to walk out of that door right now.”

“I don’t…” Oliver huffed, shaking his head. “I don’t want to walk away.”

“Don’t say that if you don’t mean it. Because you’re really good at walking away,” Felicity said harshly, picking up her plate.

He flinched at the hurt that rose up in him at her brutally honest statement. She set her plate down by the sink with her back facing him and her head ducked.

“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “I didn’t mean that. I’m just…”

Felicity trailed off, her hands gripping the edge of the counter.

“I can handle your anger, Felicity,” Oliver said.

She whirled around, her eyes shining with tears.

“I don’t want to be pissed at you anymore,” she said, taking a step forward. “I’m so… so tired. I’m tired of doing all of this alone. I’m tired of having nightmares about all the people we couldn’t save from Malcolm Merlyn. I’m tired of everything. I am exhausted.”

She clapped a hand over her mouth and let out a strangled sob as Oliver scraped his chair backwards. She stopped him before he could reach her, her hand pushing on his chest.

“I’m tired of hating you,” Felicity said, looking up at him with pleading eyes. “I don’t want to do it anymore. I just… I want to have you back. I need you back.”

Her hand fisted in his shirt and she held his gaze.

“I’m here,” Oliver said softly, reaching out to brush his fingers over her cheek.

Felicity shuddered beneath his touch, finally stepping closer to him. When she pressed her forehead to his chest next to her hand, he hesitated for just a moment before wrapping his arms around her. Felicity let him, relaxing into him as he pressed his face into her hair.

“I’m so tired, Oliver,” she whispered, turning her head to lay her cheek on his chest.

He tightened his arms around her for just a moment before stepping away from her. Felicity looked up at him with panic in her eyes that turned to surprise as he lifted her easily, cradling her in his arms. She was stiff for just a moment before letting the tension ease from her body, her head lying on his shoulder. She didn’t argue as he carried her back to her bedroom and laid her down on her bed. She just watched him pull the covers up to her chest and blinked several times when he removed the glasses from her face. As Oliver reached up to turn off the lamp, she reached up to grab his hand.

“Don’t leave,” Felicity said so quietly that he almost didn’t hear her.

With a nod, he switched off the light before sinking down to sit on the floor next to the bed. His hand took hers, sweeping back and forth over her knuckles as her eyes slid closed. Oliver stayed right there until her breathing evened out and her face relaxed in her sleep and then he stayed for even longer, unwilling to move. He wasn’t going anywhere. Not again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me what you think! Your comments make me very happy!
> 
>  
> 
> **tumblr -[dreamsofolicity](https://dreamsofolicity.tumblr.com/)  
> **  
>  twitter - [ogteamarrow](https://twitter.com/ogteamarrow)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity wakes up the next morning with a feeling of dread when she finds herself alone in her bedroom once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love all of you, seriously. You make writing this completely worth it. I couldn't do it without every single of you reading and commenting and leaving kudos. You make me very happy.
> 
> As a reward to all of you, this chapter has both angst and fluff in it! You may want to cry at points but you might also smile at others.
> 
> Disclaimer: I am not a medical health professional, nor have I ever been pregnant. I have researched quite a bit for this fic but not everything is going to be accurate. You may need to suspend disbelief for some things. It is, after all, fanfiction. Not everything is going to be perfect. I try to make it as believable as possible.
> 
> Here is Felicity's outfit for the chapter: [At QC and the doctor's office](https://urstyle.com/styles/1832900)

As soon as Felicity woke up, she could tell that something was off. The room was quiet. Too quiet. Moonlight was filtering very minimally through her window. Her glasses were sitting on the nightstand just beside the alarm clock that told her it was just after one in the morning. Her hand was outstretched, lying on the edge of the bed. Blinking several times, she gritted her teeth when the events of the night came rushing back to her. She didn’t have to look to know that Oliver wasn’t where he’d been when she fell asleep.

_“Don’t leave.”_

She knew that she didn’t imagine saying the words. Yet he’d done just the opposite. He wasn’t there. He was gone. Again. Sitting up slowly, she slid her glasses into place before padding to the door and opening it. The rest of her apartment was dark. Her eyes burned but she refused to let the tears fall. If he decided to leave her behind again, Felicity was done crying over Oliver Queen. Once she stepped into the main area of her apartment, she had to grip the doorframe for support when she saw him lying on her couch with his lead tilted back against the arm and his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

A tear finally slid down her cheek as she pressed her hand to her mouth, willing the sobs to remain at bay. Felicity didn’t know why she felt the overwhelming urge to cry. Maybe it was out of sheer relief that Oliver hadn’t left her again. Stepping forward on shaking legs, she kept her footsteps light as she walked into the living room, slowly sitting down on the coffee table near his head. Her lower lip trembled as she reached out, her hand hovering over his. Felicity wanted to make sure that he was real. But she also didn’t want to risk waking him up. He looked so haggard when he showed up at her door. This may have been the most sleep he had in weeks.

Her mind was made up for her when his jaw tightened and his nails dug into his arm. His leg startled her, kicking out at an enemy that wasn’t there. Felicity could only watch him in the midst of a nightmare for about four seconds before she was reaching out to stroke her fingers over his cheek, hoping to wake him up gently. Then his hand was wrapped around her wrist and his wild, violent eyes were staring at her through the darkness. Felicity didn’t panic, inhaling sharply as he pulled her in closer with a ferocity that he never would have used if the dream wasn’t lingering in his mind.

“Shhh,” she said soothingly, her heart pounding in her chest. “It’s just me, Felicity.”

Oliver blinked several times, his eyes scanning the room for any other threats before returning to her, his grip loosening slightly.

“You’re okay,” Felicity murmured reaching up slowly with her other hand.

His eyes tracked her movement but he didn’t pull away when she stroked her fingers over the back of the hand that was holding her. Felicity swept a light touch over his scarred knuckles and kept her eyes on him. Oliver’s grip loosened even more and the tension in her shoulders started to ebb away.

“That’s right,” she said with an encouraging nod, keeping her voice barely above a whisper.

Very slowly, he raised her hand up to his face and she let the other fall away. As he laid her palm against his cheek, she stroked her thumb softly over his skin. Then his hand slid down, holding onto her forearm with just enough pressure to keep her still. His face tilted towards her hand, his lips brushing over her wrist. Felicity took a relieved breath, knowing that he was coming back to her.

“Oliver,” she said gently, regaining his attention.

“Felicity,” he breathed.

Then he was sitting up, his hand still holding onto her arm. Felicity watched him carefully as he took several deep breaths before looking at her again.

“I’m sorry,” Oliver said, his voice slightly rough.

“It’s okay,” Felicity said.

He didn’t look convinced, slowly releasing her arm. Pulling it back, she clasped her hands in her lap to keep from reaching out to touch him again. It was nearly an impossible feat. As he rearranged himself of the couch, she pressed her lips together and tried not to remember how empty she felt when she woke up and he wasn’t there.

“I thought you left again,” Felicity said, looking down at her hands.

Oliver stiffened and she knew that if she looked up at him, she would see guilt in his eyes.

“I didn’t, Felicity,” he said quietly.

“I know,” she said with a nod, her eyes stinging. “You stayed.”

His hand appeared in her vision, carefully untangling her own hands before taking them both in his hand.

“Look at me please,” Oliver said.

She lifted her eyes warily, meeting his gaze. Sure enough, there was guilt along with determination that took her off guard.

“I’m not leaving again,” he said with certainty.

Felicity swallowed hard as a tear slipped down her cheek. She didn’t have to say anything.

“I know you don’t believe me. I’ve earned that,” Oliver said, sweeping his thumb over her knuckles just like she did a few minutes ago. “I’ll just have to prove it to you.”

Now she didn’t know what to say. Maybe there was nothing to say. She didn’t want to admit aloud that she wasn’t sure whether to trust him. But she didn’t want to shoot him down either. So Felicity settled with an olive branch.

“I-” she hesitated, licking her dry lips before pushing herself to continue. “I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow. We… have a doctor’s appointment. It’s at eleven.”

Oliver sat up a little straighter, looking as if he didn’t want to hope just in case.

“You should come,” Felicity said, feeling confident in her decision to invite him. “If you can, I mean. I don’t know what your schedule is. But if it’s clear, you should come. I want you to come.”

The corner of his mouth lifted slightly as he nodded.

“Thank you,” Oliver said, his voice thick with emotion.

“Of course,” she nodded, her heart swelling at his reaction.

He tugged on her hands gently, pulling her closer to him. Next thing she knew, she was standing between his splayed legs with his hands hesitantly moving to her waist. Oliver looked up at her, waiting for her to pull away. Felicity didn’t, waiting to see what he would do. As he lowered his head, she let out a light gasp when his forehead pressed to her middle. She could feel his hot breath through her thin tank top, shuddering at the feeling. Felicity hesitantly lifted her hand, sliding it into his hair as he inhaled and exhaled slowly. It was impossible to know how long they remained like that. Oliver didn’t even move when he spoke, his voice somewhat muffled.

“Do you want me to leave?” he asked.

“No,” she said quickly, looking down at him.

Oliver finally pulled away, his hands still on her waist as he stared up at her.

“I don’t want to go,” he assured her.

Felicity relaxed, relief taking over the panic. Reaching down, she slowly pulled his hands away and noted the flash of disappointment in his eyes. Stepping to the side, she lowered herself to the couch beside him, tucking her legs beneath her.

“We need to talk about something else,” Felicity said, propping her arm on the back of the couch.

She leaned her head on her hand as he turned to look at her apprehensively.

“The Hood,” Felicity said.

Oliver looked away from her, taking a sharp breath as he leaned forward with his elbows on his knees.

“Diggle told me what you said to him,” she continued, knowing that this was probably the last thing that he wanted to talk about. “That you think you failed.”

“I did fail,” he said darkly.

Felicity took a deep breath before speaking again.

“Malcolm Merlyn failed this city,” she said, watching him carefully. “Not you.”

“I should have done more,” Oliver said, shaking his head. “For the city and for Thea and… and for Tommy.”

She bit down on her lip, trying to figure out how to put her thoughts into words.

“The city is still here,” Felicity said, closing her eyes as she spoke. “It’s hurting, Oliver. There are people who lost everything and they’re hopeless. You say that you came back from the island to right your father’s wrongs and save the city… well it seems to need saving now more than ever.”

“I can’t,” he said, his voice strained.

Felicity reached out, rubbing her hand over his shoulder.

“Maybe not as the Hood,” she said, feeling his muscles quiver beneath her touch. “Starling City doesn’t need a vigilante. It needs a hero.”

Oliver looked over at her with raw pain in his eyes.

“I can’t do that. I can’t _be_ that,” he said, shaking his head. “What I can do is save my family’s company. I can be here for Thea and my mother and-and for you and our baby. I can’t be what this city needs but… I promise you that I can be what you need.”

Felicity stared at him for a few long moments before nodding her head. He wasn’t ready. She could understand that. Reaching out, she brushed her thumb over his jawline.

“I may be able to help you with one of those things,” she said, changing the subject. “The promotion I’ve been offered by Vanessa Harris is a program manager to integrate new technology into Queen Consolidated. They want to pave the way for clean energy in all branches. It should give the company some good press.”

Oliver’s eyes widened for a moment before a smile broke out on his face.

“Felicity, that’s great,” he said, leaning his head into her touch.

She nodded, glancing down at her lap.

“I’m not sure I’ll take it,” she said.

Oliver reached out, lifting her chin up gently.

“Why not?” he asked.

“Well I’m about to be really busy,” she reminded him, her eyes flickering down purposefully before meeting his gaze again. “And I’m afraid that I won’t be able to handle it.”

Oliver shook his head.

“You can handle anything you put your mind to, Felicity Smoak,” he said, showing his confidence in her. “And you shouldn’t let the baby stop you from accepting the job. You aren’t going to be alone and I don’t just mean me. Dig isn’t going anywhere and I’m pretty sure we’d have to beat Thea off with a stick to keep her away.”

Felicity smiled slightly before her eyes widened.

“Thea knows? That you’re the father?” she asked.

Oliver nodded, looking slightly amused.

“She guessed,” he said.

“Of course she did,” Felicity said with a slight smile.

He took a deep breath, scrubbing his hand down his face as she let her hand drop.

“I can’t convince her to see our mom,” Oliver said, staring off at a spot over her shoulder.

“You’ve gone to see her?” Felicity said.

“Yeah,” he said, nodding slowly. “She’s… surprisingly okay. You know, considering. Jean, our lawyer, says that her trial won’t be for another few months.”

He took a deep breath before letting out a short, humorless laugh.

“I know what she did,” Oliver said, looking at her. “I hate that she had any part in the Undertaking but… she’s my mom. I can’t stand seeing her in that place.”

“Well that’s understandable,” Felicity said, hoping that he didn’t blame himself for that like he did everything else. “Anyone would have a hard time with that.”

He cleared his throat, nodding once. When Felicity saw the uncertainty and fear in his eyes, she exhaled slowly and reached out, pulling him in close. They fit together just as perfectly as last time, with his arms banded around her tightly and his face buried in her hair. Felicity rubbed at his back, pushing away any intrusive thoughts. Comforting Oliver was easy. Loving Oliver was even easier. That’s what was so dangerous about him.

“Thank you,” he said again, his breath washing over her neck.

Felicity didn’t say anything. She knew that she didn’t have to. When Oliver pulled away after a few long minutes, his head lifted. She quickly realized just how close they were, with her legs practically thrown over his lap and his arms still wrapped around her. Oliver seemed to come to the same realization. Her entire body tingled with warmth as his eyes flickered down to her lips briefly. Felicity felt a rush of want for this man, the same feeling that brought them together on _that_ night. Oliver leaned in ever-so-slightly, watching her closely. Felicity wanted to lose herself in him more than anything. But she closed her eyes and remembered the ache in her heart.

“I can’t,” she exhaled, ignoring her body’s desperate need to be even closer to him.

Reaching back, she unwound Oliver’s arms and pushed away from him. He didn’t try to hold her back. He didn’t say a word even as she stood up and paced away from him, her shaking hand covering her mouth. With a shudder, Felicity wished that he would stop staring at her. It made it so much harder not to go back and crush her lips to his.

“I need to be up early,” she said quietly, knowing that he heard her.

Oliver didn’t say anything for a long while.

“Okay,” he finally said, sounding just as shaken up as she felt.

Felicity took a fortifying breath before turning back around.

“Come on,” she said, tilting her head towards the hallway.

She saw his look of surprise very briefly before she walked ahead of him. Opening the door opposite hers, she stepped back to let him see the sparse guest bedroom. There was nothing more than a bed, dresser, and nightstand. Felicity never got around to decorating it, considering that it was rare that anyone stayed in it.

“The couch doesn’t fit you,” she said, running a hand through her hair. “You can sleep in here.”

Oliver looked torn between disappointment and relief.

“Thank you, Felicity.”

“You’re welcome,” she said, backing towards her bedroom. “Goodnight, Oliver.”

With that, she turned around like a coward and fled into her room, closing the door behind him. Felicity knew that she had to put distance between them before she did something insane. Breathing in, she leaned her head back on the door and tried not to imagine how his lips might feel on hers right now.

“Sleep,” she instructed herself, staggering towards the bed.

After her glasses off, Felicity collapsed atop her mattress and pulled her covers up to her chin, trying not to imagine Oliver in the next room. This was the right thing for her heart. She couldn’t let him in like before. She couldn’t get hurt like that again. This was what had to be done. Felicity repeated it to herself over and over again but the more she thought the words, the less convinced she was.

* * *

Waking up in the morning to Oliver still in her apartment was both reassuring and awkward. Felicity was glad to see that he’d followed through with his promise to stay but she wasn’t quite sure what to do with him. Luckily he sensed the tension that she felt and dismissed himself quickly with the excuse that he had to show up at Queen Consolidated in something other than last night’s clothes. Felicity bid him a wary goodbye from her kitchen before letting herself panic. It was easy to convince herself that the night before was a one time thing, which had her feeling rather on edge the entire day. It wasn’t until a knock came on her door just as she was getting ready for bed that night that she felt the slightest bit of hope. Sure enough, Oliver was standing at her door with the same hope in his otherwise weary eyes. Felicity didn’t hesitate to step aside, letting him come in as she assured him that the same bed was open to him.

When the morning of the doctor’s appointment came around, she wasn’t lucky enough to be woken up by her alarm clock. Instead her stomach was churning and her head was spinning slightly. Felicity barely staggered to the bathroom, slamming the door open only to hunch over the toilet as she threw up noisily. She didn’t hear the panicked rush of footsteps so when she felt Oliver gathering her hair away from her face, Felicity jumped, startled by his appearance, before groaning as her stomach heaved again. His other hand rubbed her back until she reached up and flushed the toilet before leaning back into his chest with a shaky sigh.

“That happens a lot,” Oliver said, his voice tinged with worry.

“It’s normal,” Felicity said, patting the hand that was stroking up and down her arm soothingly. “It should be over in a couple of weeks.”

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, holding her until the shaking in her limbs ceased and she was able to stand on slightly wobbly legs.

“Is there anything I can do?” he asked.

Felicity moved to the sink slowly.

“Can you go brew up some of my tea? It’s on the counter,” she said, looking up at him in the mirror as she picked up her toothbrush.

“Of course,” he said with a nod.

She gave him a small smile of gratitude, watching him leave before washing out her mouth and brushing her teeth. By the time she walked out to the kitchen, Oliver had a cup of steaming tea waiting on her and he was drinking from a cup of water.

“Thank you,” Felicity said, reaching out to pick up the mug with both hands.

She sat on a barstool, sipping at it carefully.

“It helps?” Oliver asked.

Felicity nodded, lowering it back to the counter.

“It’s the ginger,” she said, licking a drop from the corner of her mouth. “It settles my stomach.”

Oliver nodded, clearly filing the information away.

“I’m so sorry that I wasn’t here when it started,” he said, looking down at the ground with his arms crossed tightly over his chest.

Felicity’s breath caught in her throat at the reminder but she forced herself to shrug it off.

“You’re here now,” she said, surprising even herself when she found that she didn’t say it just to comfort him, but that she meant it too. “That’s important.”

Oliver nodded, looking up at her with uncertainty.

“I’ll be at the office again today. Do you want to ride to the doctor’s office together?” he asked.

“That sounds good,” Felicity said, smiling at him.

He looked pleased at that, picking up his jacket from the table where he’d left it the night before.

“I’ll see you in a few hours,” Oliver said.

She lifted her hand, waving at him as he went. Once the door was closed, Felicity let out a groan and dropped her head. Would it ever stop being awkward between the two of them?

* * *

At ten-fifteen on the dot, Felicity was waiting in the lobby of Queen Consolidated. Oliver stepped out of the elevators not a minute later, impressing her with his punctuality. He wasn’t exactly known for being on time, even after he came back from the island.

“Hey,” he said once he reached her. “You ready?”

Felicity nodded, shoving her hands in the pockets of her unbuttoned jacket as she felt the strange urge to reach out and straighten his slightly crooked tie.

“As I’ll ever be,” she said with a nod.

Oliver gestured to the door and she felt his hand hovering just over her back as they made their way out. Diggle was unsurprisingly waiting at the curb, a slight smile on his face as she approached. Felicity reached out, squeezing his arm lightly with a smile of her own before climbing into the backseat of the town car. The ride to the doctor’s office was relatively short and quiet. Felicity stared out the window at the passing city, feeling relieved once they made it to the building in Orchid Bay. It was a charming little place that offered a lot of comfort to Felicity, especially during her first appointment.

“I’m going to stay out here if you don’t mind,” Dig said as Felicity and Oliver prepared to leave the car. “I doubt I’ll be needed in there.”

“If they try to take anymore blood from me, I’m calling in reinforcements,” she said.

“Understood,” he said with a chuckle.

By the time they made it into the waiting room of the office, Felicity could see Oliver’s stress levels rising. She felt the exact same at the first appointment.

“Go ahead and sit down,” she said, nudging him towards the chairs. “I’ll check in.”

He nodded, tapping his forefinger and thumb together as he sat down with a neutral look on his face. It was slightly funny, bringing a slight smile to Felicity’s face as she stepped up to the counter.

“Welcome back,” Audrey the receptionist said, glancing past her at Oliver as he stared up at the television that was playing a random soap opera. “The father?”

Felicity nodded, swallowing hard at that.

“Yeah he is,” she said, singing her name on the tablet that allowed digital check-in.

“We need his medical history, if he doesn’t mind,” she said, holding up a clipboard.

Felicity took it from her before heading over to sit next to him.

“They need some information,” she said, setting the clipboard in his lap. “I couldn’t answer a lot of the questions the first time.”

Oliver looked up at her with surprise.

“You could have found them,” he said quietly.

“I didn’t feel comfortable hacking into your medical files,” Felicity said with a shrug, crossing her legs. “Besides, you’re here now. No harm done.”

Oliver tensed only slightly before filling out the form completely. Once he was done, he stood up to take the clipboard back up to Audrey, who looked a little mesmerized by him. Felicity was used to seeing the look. It usually didn’t bother her in the slightest because she couldn’t really blame anyone for finding him attractive. But this time, she felt the slightest hint of possessiveness, her hands curling into fists in her pockets. Felicity tried not to pay any attention to the polite conversation that he was making with the receptionist for a few minutes until he headed back over to her.

“Is everything okay?” Oliver asked, noticing her rigid posture right away.

“Hmm?” Felicity said, blinking at him innocently. “I’m fine.”

He didn’t look convinced but he didn’t push her either, reaching out to squeeze her knee lightly.

“I’m glad that I’m here,” Oliver said quietly.

All covetous feelings faded away as a soft smile formed on her face.

“I”m glad you’re here too,” Felicity said.

Before he could say anything else, the door opened and a nurse peeked out.

“Felicity?”

They were both on their feet immediately, following her down the hall to one of the exam rooms. It was decorated in warm colors that instantly put Felicity at ease.

“You remember the drill?” the nurse asked once they stepped inside.

“Vividly,” Felicity said with a nod.

The nurse waited as she set her purse down on the floor near the corner and slipped off her jacket and shoes. Felicity felt Oliver’s eyes on her as she did so.

“You can probably sit in that chair for now. They didn’t use it last time,” she told him, pointing at the seat behind him.

Oliver did just that, much to her relief. Having him so near right now probably wouldn’t be good for her blood pressure that the nurse was about to check.

“You’re almost thirteen weeks along?” Oliver asked once she settled herself on the exam table.

Felicity looked over at him only to see that he was glancing over a pamphlet that had information about the stages of pregnancy week-by-week. She couldn’t help but smile, wishing that she had her phone in her hands to take a picture of him. The nurse looked equally amused as she wrapped a blood pressure cuff around Felicity’s upper arm.

“I am,” she confirmed, watching as he scanned the page.

“They’re almost the size of a Meyer lemon,” Oliver said, the faintest smile coming over his face. “And they might be sucking their thumb.”

Felicity smiled wider as the nurse pumped the cuff up quickly before letting it deflate slowly..

“Their vocal chords are starting to develop too,” she said, remembering what she read.

“Well, going by genetics, he or she will be talking up a storm in no time,” Oliver said, lifting his head to look at her.

There was a teasing light in his eyes and Felicity stared at him with disbelief before letting out a light laugh. Oliver Queen actually just made a joke. Felicity was tempted to call the press right then and there. Before she could respond, the door opened and her doctor walked in as the nurse stepped away and murmured a number.

“How are we today, Felicity?” Dr. Bell asked as she wrote her blood pressure down on the chart.

“Good,” Felicity said, straightening up. “Everything seems normal, I think.”

“Still having that morning sickness?”

She grimaced, nodding in response once Dr. Bell looked up at her.

“It’s very misleading. I would be relieved if it stuck to the morning hours,” Felicity said bitterly.

“Wouldn’t that be nice?” Dr. Bell said with a smile before noticing Oliver. “Pardon me. I’m Dr. Bell.”

He stood up to shake her hand.

“Oliver Queen.”

She looked surprised, glancing from Oliver to Felicity and back.

“Well, Mr. Queen, I know that your family values it’s privacy. I can guarantee that myself and my employees will be discreet,” she said.

He looked surprised himself, giving her a nod.

“We appreciate that,” he said before moving back to sit.

“Oh no,” Dr. Bell said, shaking her head and stopping him in place. “You can’t see anything from there?”

“See anything?” Oliver said, looking slightly confused.

Felicity exchanged a slightly amused look with her doctor as the nurse pulled ultrasound machine over.

“You do want to see your baby, don’t you?” Dr. Bell asked.

His eyes widened and he looked at Felicity, who nodded at him once she situated herself back on the exam table.

“If you don’t mind, Felicity,” Dr. Bell said, nodding to her midsection before turning on the machine.

Felicity tucked her shirt up just underneath her bra as Oliver stepped up beside the table. Once everything was ready, the nurse stepped to Felicity’s other side and squeezed out some of the gel on her stomach. She let out a gasp at the temperature and Oliver looked slightly alarmed.

“It’s just cold,” Felicity said, wondering just how high strung he was at the moment.

He nodded, glancing at the screen that obviously wasn’t showing anything.

“Alright,” Dr. Bell said, picking up the wand. “Let’s see if this little one is going to let us get a good look.”

Felicity and Oliver both watched closely as a blurry black and white mess showed up on the screen. The room fell silent as they waited, minutes passing.

“It’s normal for it to take a few minutes,” the nurse assured them both when she noticed their slight panic.

Felicity forced herself to relax, taking a deep breath. Just as she did, Dr. Bell hummed happily.

“There we go,” she said, pointing at the screen. “You can see the shape pretty easily. There’s the head and there’s the rest of the body.”

Felicity stared in awe at the sonogram, a smile taking over her face. When it first happened, all that she could see was a little dot. Now it looked like a tiny little human. Looking over at Oliver, she saw him staring with disbelief, his lips slightly parted.

“It makes it more real,” she said to him.

Oliver nodded, snapping his mouth closed to swallow.

“The little one is fairly active. See how the legs are kicking? You’ll definitely have your hands full in a few months ”

Felicity huffed out a laugh.

“Wonder where they got _that_ from?” she said.

Oliver nudged her shoulder gently.

“Give me just a second,” Dr. Bell said, moving the wand around a little bit. “Let’s see if we can… oh yes that’s perfect.”

A sound filled the air, startling Felicity as she recognized it immediately. She shot her hand out, grasping Oliver’s without a second thought. He closed his fingers around hers immediately, clearly taken by surprise as well.

“Is that…” he trailed off.

“The heartbeat,” Dr. Bell finished for him, focusing on the screen.

Felicity’s eyes filled with tears as she gripped his hand.

“Oh my God, Oliver,” she said, letting out a delighted laugh. “That’s the heartbeat. Our baby’s heartbeat.”

She looked up at him only to see that his eyes were a little glassy. It made her heart swell even more, especially when he lifted her hand up and kissed it softly.

“Our baby,” he repeated as if he couldn’t quite believe that this was real.

“A healthy rate of one hundred and fifty-three,” Dr. Bell said, smiling over at the two of them. “I’ll be right back to do the exam. Sharon here will keep the wand on the baby as long as you want so that you can watch.”

Felicity and Oliver just nodded, unable to tear their eyes away from their active little lemon. Sharon faded into the background well, letting them have their moment. When Oliver pressed a kiss to Felicity’s head, she leaned into him without a second thought, feeling lighter than she had in months.

* * *

They walked back into Queen Consolidated a few hours later after lunch with Dig, both in fairly good moods. Felicity couldn’t help but grin at Oliver as he reached out to press the up button on the elevator. Then she glanced at the time on her phone and remembered the other appointment that she had set for the day.

“I have to go meet with Harold Conway and Vanessa Harris,” Felicity said, looking up at Oliver. “They want to know my decision about the job.”

“Did you decide?” Oliver asked.

She didn’t say anything, thinking it through.

“I want you to come with me,” Felicity said.

He nodded without hesitation just before they stepped on the elevator. Felicity focused on taking deep breaths, remembering how calm and happy she felt watching their baby nearly do the Macarena on the ultrasound screen.

“You okay?” Oliver said.

She let out a breath before answering.

“I’ll let you know in about ten minutes,” Felicity said, watching as the numbers climbed.

Once they reached the appropriate floor, Oliver held the doors as she walked out before falling into step with her.

“Mr. Conway is expecting you, Miss Smoak,” his executive assistant said, looking curious at seeing Oliver there.

Vanessa was already in there, perched on the arm of a couch as she conversed with the interim CEO.

“Miss Smoak,” Mr. Conway said, nodding at her. “Good to see you again. And hello, Mr. Queen.”

“Mr. Conway,” Oliver said, reaching out to shake his hand.

Both Vanessa and Mr. Conway looked surprised to see Oliver there but they covered it quickly, focusing on Felicity.

“Do you have an answer for us?” Vanessa asked, nodding at her.

“I do,” Felicity said, clasping her hands in front of her. “This promotion is a once in a lifetime opportunity. I would be a fool to say no. I would love to accept.”

“Great,” Mr. Conway said, clapping his hands together as Vanessa smiled triumphantly.

“Wait,” Felicity said, stopping them both before they popped the nearest bottle of champagne. “There’s something you both need to know before this goes any further.”

She glanced Oliver’s way, hoping that he knew exactly what she wanted to tell them. He seemed to understand, nodding his head once. When she looked at Vanessa, she gave her an encouraging smile.

“I’m pregnant,” Felicity said.

Mr. Conway looked surprised, his eyebrows flying up. Vanessa looked proud of Felicity. But neither of them knew what was coming next. As she took a deep breath, Felicity felt Oliver’s hand touch her back comfortingly and drew strength from it to speak again.

“And Oliver is the father.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> **tumblr -[dreamsofolicity](https://dreamsofolicity.tumblr.com/)  
> **  
>  twitter - [ogteamarrow](https://twitter.com/ogteamarrow)


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity and Oliver struggle with the logistics of revealing everything to the public. Thea asks Felicity for help with something. An emotional confrontation happens over dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are absolutely the best. I can't describe just how much it means to me that you support this story through reading and commenting. Lots of love from me to you.
> 
> I did delete the first post of this chapter to do it again. AO3 screwed up the date that it updated so I was afraid that no one would get an alert that I posted a new chapter.
> 
>  **Felicity’s Outfits:**[At the Meeting](https://urstyle.com/styles/1833360) | [With Thea and Roy](https://urstyle.com/styles/1833365) | [Dinner with Oliver](https://urstyle.com/styles/1833381)

Felicity couldn’t help the nerves that were fluttering in her chest and stomach. Though her pregnancy induced nausea was finally passing, she wasn’t entirely confident that Queen Consolidated induced nausea wouldn’t cause her to run for the nearest bathroom. Her promotion wasn’t official yet. They still had yet to do a press release. That’s what brought her here, sitting at a conference room in the public relations department with Oliver at her side. They were waiting for Vanessa and Mr. Conway to arrive so that they could discuss the best order in which to leak the news of her promotion, Oliver taking over the company, and the fact that they were having a baby in the most graceful manner.

Felicity caught her lower lip between her teeth as she watched Oliver’s fingers tap on the table impatiently. He was still absolutely terrible at remaining stationary. It was somewhat comforting, knowing that even though everything had changed, Oliver was still Oliver at the end of the day. And she was still Felicity. It was hard to do any of this without knowing where they stood. He had stayed in the spare bedroom at her apartment sporadically over the past week. Because of her transition from IT department to a program manager, Felicity had been too busy to do much other than work, eat, and sleep. There hadn’t been time for much talking.

“A peach.”

“Hmm?” Oliver’s head lifted, his interest piqued at the two words that she spoke.

“They’re almost the size of a peach now,” Felicity said quietly, focusing on her hands clasped in her lap. “Their organs are starting to work and their arms are growing.”

A few moments of silence greeted her before he spoke.

“They’re figuring out how to make facial expressions,” Oliver said, letting her know that he was doing his share of studying as well.

The corner of her lips twitched upward slightly and Felicity nodded, rubbing her thumb over the back of her hand. It was an impulse she might have picked up from Oliver. HIs fingers were always twitching, always aching for the solid weight of a bow in his hands. Even now, when he swore that he was done being Starling City’s vigilante, his body couldn’t forget what it had been trained to do. She didn’t really know when she started mimicking his anxious movements.

“I’m going to start showing soon,” Felicity said even quieter, her heart fluttering in her chest at the thought. “I have some dresses that’ll cover it up for a while but…”

She trailed off, glancing around at the public relations employees. Everyone was involved in their own quiet conversations, casting a few curious looks Oliver’s way but otherwise unconcerned with their presence and unaware of exactly why they were meeting. With the exception of Vanessa and Mr. Conway, no one in the company was privy to their secret yet. Secret. She hated that.

“I’m not ashamed,” Felicity said, lowering her head again. “I don’t want this to be something that needs to be hidden with loose dresses and convenient excuses. I never… I never ever want this peach to think for one second that they weren’t wanted.”

Her breath caught in her throat for just a second and she pressed her lips together, counting to ten in her mind. Yeah, this was definitely hitting close to home. Oliver’s hand twitched like he was about to take hers but then stilled as if he thought better of it.

“I won’t let myself feel even an ounce of shame and I won’t give anyone else any reason to think that I do,” Felicity finished, her whispered words coming out more vehement than she planned.

“This… peach,” Oliver said, the slightest bit of awkwardness to his voice that had Felicity sealing her lips together for an entirely different reason. “... will always know that they are wanted. I promise.”

Felicity nodded, taking a deep breath before lifting her head. The others in the room were growing restless as they waited. She, however, only felt hungry. Since the morning sickness started to fade, her appetite had increased as a result. As she shifted in her seat, Oliver reached out to the middle of the table and slid a bowlful of baked goods towards her. Felicity knew that she shouldn’t be surprised that he could sense her unease. Reaching out, she picked up a cranberry muffin before lowering it to her lap to tear pieces off the top.

“What do you want?” Oliver asked quietly, pushing the bowl back to the middle of the table.

She looked up at him, her brow furrowing with the slightest bit of confusion. He met her gaze, turning slightly in the chair to face her more.

“A blue peach or a pink peach?”

Felicity felt the urge to laugh at how funny the words sounded in Oliver’s voice just before her eyes narrowed slightly at the antiquated phrasing.

“You know pink used to be a boy’s color,” she said after swallowing a bite of the muffin. “It was considered bold and handsome while blue was more delicate and ladylike. Seems to me that any attempt to assign colors a gender, or the other way around, is just ridiculous.”

Oliver raised one eyebrow at her.

“Should I use more anatomical terms?” he asked.

Her cheeks grew warm at the suggestion and she looked away.

“I want ten fingers and ten toes,” Felicity said honestly, setting her muffin down. “Past that, I don’t think it matters much.”

She popped the piece of muffin in her mouth as Oliver looked on.

“You’re eating more,” he acknowledged.

Felicity nodded, reaching out to pick up her bottle of water.

“The nausea is almost completely gone,” she said with relief before taking a long drink.

He didn’t say anything for a few moments and she had the feeling he was thinking that through.

“I would like to make you dinner one night,” Oliver said, earning a surprised look. “If that’s alright.”

Before Felicity could answer, the door opened and Vanessa strode through, followed closely by Mr. Conway. Everyone stood up to greet them, including Felicity and Oliver. As soon as they were all introduced, they sat around the table to talk. Mr. Conway took the lead as the interim CEO.

“I’m sure you’ve all heard the rumors running rampant through the company and the city about Mr. Queen’s role here. Over the past several weeks, we have begun the transition process that will take the next few months to complete. There is also the matter of the new clean energy and technology project. Mrs. Harris here has made an excellent choice when it comes to the project manager,” Mr. Conway said, folding his hands atop the desk. “That would be Miss Felicity Smoak.”

He nodded in her direction and she managed a mild smile.

“Mr. Queen and Miss Smoak are the future of Queen Consolidated. Myself, Mrs. Harris and the Board of Directors has faith that they will do good things for this company. We need to discuss how best to present this story to the public.”

The others in the room didn’t look too intimidated, even though they were mostly in charge of what information got put out into the public from the company.

“There is also another matter that needs to be discussed,” Vanessa said before they could start discussing possibilities.

Her eyes cut to Felicity, waiting for her nod of assent. Though she wasn’t happy about it being referred to as a “matter” she knew that she had to pick her fights.

“Mrs. Harris,” Oliver said, stopping her before she could announce the news that was technically theirs.

Vanessa paused before nodding at him, sitting back in her chair. Oliver glanced over at Felicity before setting his hand atop the conference table. She knew what he wanted and, on a basic level, she knew why it was a good idea. But it made her heart flutter nervously when she slid her hand into his as she took a shaky breath. Everyone in the room tracked the movement.

“Felicity and I are having a baby,” Oliver said, his voice level and confident.

The shocked looks that they received were just the beginning. A little less than an hour later, Felicity was reaching her limit. Between the talk of official interviews, photoshoots, and several allusions to marriage, she grew more and more restless. Through it all, Oliver kept a gentle hold on her hand. It felt odd, touching him for so long after everything. As if he sensed her discomfort, he swept his thumb over her knuckles soothingly. The simple gesture nearly brought tears to her eyes. Felicity missed him. Even though he was right beside her, there was a distance between them now. It wasn’t nearly as easy as it had been before he left. Her heart ached for that closeness.

“I think that’s enough for today,” Vanessa said, calling an end to the meeting.

Felicity could have kissed the other woman. Her relief must have been clear because Vanessa gave her a nod before standing.

“I trust that all of you will be discreet. Mr. Queen and Miss Smoak have a right to their privacy. Everything that was mentioned in this room should remain between those gathered here.”

The threat was clear. Anything leaks to the press before the right time and they would know exactly where to focus their attention. Felicity felt grateful for Vanessa Harris yet again. They would definitely have to send her a fruit basket or something when all of this was over. Tugging her hand away from Oliver’s, she stood up and began gathering her belongings. As she did so, Felicity happened to glance up in time to see one of the public relations guys staring at her with a slight smirk on his face. She quickly averted her eyes, cold dread filling her as she turned away.

“No one is going to believe me,” Felicity mumbled under her breath, the realization settling like a heavy weight on her shoulder.

“About what?”

She winced, forcing herself to remember that Oliver had beyond excellent hearing. Shaking her head, Felicity tucked her purse in the crook of her elbow.

“Nothing,” she said.

“Hey,” he caught her elbow before she could slip past him. “What is it?”

Felicity looked up at him, shrugging one shoulder in an effort to seem unbothered.

“Every single person in this city is going to believe that a lowly IT girl like me got pregnant to trick you into giving me a promotion and a hefty amount of money,” she said, hating that her voice hitched at the end. “I can handle it but our baby… they don’t deserve to be born into that.”

Oliver frowned at her and he was preparing to undoubtedly argue her point just before his eyes lifted. When his mouth snapped closed and his gaze grew hard and cold, Felicity knew exactly what he was seeing. In that moment, he wasn’t Oliver Queen, careless playboy billionaire. He was the vigilante, with anger rolling off of him in waves that was directed straight at the employee that dared give her a suggestive look.

“Oliver,” Felicity hissed, resisting the urge to drive an elbow into his side.

He didn’t seem to even hear her. Lifting her hand, she pressed it over his cheek and brought his gaze back to her.

“It doesn’t matter,” Felicity said in spite of her own earlier reaction.

“Like hell it doesn’t,” he growled under his breath without breaking his gaze away from her.

She took a deep breath, realizing that she worded that wrong.

“Okay it does matter,” Felicity amended, nodding her head. “But it’s nothing I can’t handle. We both know the truth and that’s what matters at the end of the day.”

Oliver still felt tense, his dominant hand curling into a fist even as the disgusting man behind her all but fled the room to get out from beneath his future boss’s threatening scowl.

“I don’t want anyone thinking that about you,” Oliver said.

Her hand dropped to his arm and she squeezed his bicep lightly.

“You can’t control what people think, Oliver,” Felicity said, shaking her head. “You can only control what you do.”

With that, she turned away from him to bid goodbye to Vanessa and Mr. Conway.

“You are handling this excellently,” Vanessa said, shaking her hand. “I hope you can continue through this with the grace you are exhibiting now. It may not seem like it at times, but it will all be behind you at some point and you’ll be able to focus on what matters.”

Felicity nodded, smiling at her. Before she could get a word in, Vanessa’s eyes flickered over her shoulder where Oliver was speaking with his predecessor.

“It helps that you are not going through it alone, I imagine.”

She felt Oliver’s eyes on her back and managed a nod.

“It does make it all a little less intimidating,” Felicity admitted.

“Good,” Vanessa said before speaking up a little bit. “Please give your mother my regards, Mr. Queen. I hope that she knows our thoughts are with her.”

“I will, Mrs. Harris, thank you,” Oliver said, nodding gratefully.

Felicity bit down on her lip, feeling a surge of sympathy for him. It was easier to forget, with everything else pressing in on her, that Moira Queen was in prison and preparing to face charges for the Undertaking. The city was looking for someone to blame. Without Malcolm Merlyn alive to hate, all of that fell on Oliver’s mother. Felicity couldn’t imagine the burden that was on his shoulders, both as Oliver Queen and as the Hood.

“Have a nice evening,” Mr. Conway said, holding the door open for Vanessa.

“You too,” Felicity said with a pleasant smile.

Then they were left alone, her arms folded over her chest as Oliver slid his hands into his pockets. Taking in his somewhat calmer demeanor, Felicity remembered what he said before they were interrupted by the meeting.

“I didn’t know you could cook,” she said as casually as she could manage.

Oliver’s eyes lifted to meet hers and the blazing anger was gone. He nodded once, offering no explanation of how he acquired that particular skill. Felicity hadn’t been to the island but she doubted that there was a kitchen there.

“I never got the hang of it,” she said, rocking back and forth on her heels. “My mom and I mostly survived on frozen dinners and takeout whenever we could afford it.”

He looked surprised. It didn’t take long for her to figure out why. For all of Oliver’s secrets about his past, Felicity was no different. They’d both mastered the art of not talking about themselves whenever possible. But they were tied together by the life that was growing inside of her. That would have to change at some point and it would have to be mutual. Felicity just wasn’t sure that she was willing to take that leap first. It was much easier to answer his earlier question.

“Yes.”

Oliver tilted his head to the side slightly.

“Yes?” he repeated, clearly confused.

“I will have you,” she said, her cheeks burning as soon as the words slipped from her mouth. “For dinner. I will have you for dinner. _Over_ for dinner. You can come in my… _to_ my apartment. Holy frack I am not making this better.”

There was a light in Oliver’s eyes that she hadn’t seen in a while and his mouth was forming the barest hint of a smile. Felicity let out a laugh, shaking her head.

“You can make me dinner,” she said, managing to get the words out without accidentally propositioning him again.

“Okay,” Oliver said with a nod, looking happy with her answer. “What’s a good night for you?”

Felicity considered it for a moment.

“Tomorrow,” she said decisively before glancing at him. “Is that okay with you? Or too soon? Do you need more time to… I don’t know… plan?”

“Tomorrow is great,” he told her.

She managed a small smile, nodding as well.

“I’m sitting down with Thea tonight. She’s thinking about organizing a charity event for the Glades Relief Fund and she wants my help with some of the planning,” Felicity said.

Oliver looked surprised but not altogether unhappy.

“I’m glad you two are getting close,” he said, reaching up to rub at his jaw. “She needs… well she needs support right now. It’s good that she has you.”

Felicity felt warmth stirring in her chest at the genuine care for his sister that he constantly exhibited. Though there was a part of her that couldn’t resist needling at him just a little.

“She has Roy too,” Felicity said teasingly.

Oliver let out a heavy, long-suffering sigh.

“Don’t remind me,” he said as they stepped towards the doors together.

“Believe me, she could do a lot worse,” Felicity said.

He didn’t answer, though she had the feeling he knew that already. Neither Felicity nor Oliver noticed the curious looks that they attracted as they made their way towards the elevators, both feeling more natural in each other’s presence than they had in weeks.

* * *

The last place that Felicity expected meet Thea was in the heart of the Glades a fair distance from Verdant. Yet the address that the younger girl gave her was definitely smack in the middle of the neighborhood. It wasn’t hard to realize where Thea had directed her when Roy answered the door soon after she knocked.

“Hey,” he said, stepping aside to let her in.

“Hi,” Felicity said, feeling somewhat awkward.

She knew that Thea had spent the majority of her time there while Oliver was gone, not wanting to stay in Queen manor alone, but Felicity didn’t really expect to be invited over. The girl in question was spread out on the floor of the living room with her short hair pulled into a small bun at the nape of her neck and papers in her hands.

“Hi Felicity,” Thea said, beaming up at her.

Felicity waved, hovering in the doorway.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Roy asked.

“Just some water would be great,” she said, smiling at him.

He nodded, heading into the kitchen.

“Make yourself at home,” he said over his shoulder.

Felicity did just that, lowering herself onto the floor.

“Looks like you’ve already got a lot figured out,” she said, picking up a piece of paper where Thea had been outlining a possible guest list.

“I’m definitely counting on the guilt of Starling City’s one percent,” Thea said, looking up at Felicity. “If we can get even half of those people to show up with their checkbooks, we’ll have quite a bit to donate to the relief fund. I’m thinking about convincing Ollie to match the donations up to half a million dollars.”

Felicity nodded, impressed at what Thea had pulled together in such a short period of time.

“I’m sure he’ll agree to it,” she said.

Thea’s head lifted and she set down what was in her hands, sitting back against the couch behind them.

“How’s my little niece or nephew?” she asked.

Felicity hesitated before looking over at her.

“They’re doing really good. I’m just sorry I didn’t tell you earlier,” she said.

Thea shook her head, waving her off.

“I understand why you didn’t. Honestly, I kind of second guessed whether my brother would actually step up. He’s changed but I’m pretty sure the old Ollie would have run for the hills,” she said.

It was easy to imagine the pre-island Oliver doing exactly that.

“I think he’s all in,” Felicity said, drawing one leg up to her chest. “Or at least I hope he is. He was pretty… emotional, I guess… when we were at the sonogram. He’s doing his research and everything. It all points to him wanting to be involved.”

“Good,” Thea said with a firm nod. “I’m glad I don’t have to kick his ass.”

Felicity smiled slightly as Roy wandered back into the room with a glass of water that he immediately handed down to her.

“Whose ass are you kicking?” he asked, sinking into an armchair.

“Oliver’s,” Thea said with a roll of her eyes as Felicity sipped at the water. “But only if he doesn’t help take care of the little genius.”

She waved her hand in the direction of Felicity’s abdomen and Roy’s eyes widened slightly.

“Your brother’s the dad?” he asked.

“Yeah because apparently he forgot how to use a condom when he was on that island.”

Felicity choked on her water and coughed for several moments before recatching her breath.

“We did,” she wheezed as Thea thumped her back. “It broke.”

The other girl’s eyes widened as Roy looked away, obviously feeling slightly uncomfortable with the subject.

“I thought that only happened on TV dramas,” Thea said thoughtfully.

“Apparently not,” Felicity said, taking a slower drink of water. “Let that be a warning, I guess.”

Thea eyed Roy as he did his very best not to meet either of their gazes.

“So when are you going public with it?” Thea asked, changing the subject.

“Well we are currently working with the Queen Consolidated PR department, because we have to talk about it endlessly for at least three different meetings before we make a decision,” Felicity said, her impatience bleeding into her tone as she placed her hand over her stomach. “They’re treating it like a PR disaster that they need to spin. I hate it.”

“Welcome to a brand new world,” Thea said, nudging her shoulder lightly. “I wish I could tell you that it doesn’t suck.”

She huffed, nodding her head in agreement.

“It’ll be worth it in the end, though,” Felicity said, looking down at her still flat tummy. “That’s what keeps me going, I think.”

A strange silence filled the room before Thea spoke again.

“Do you think that we should invite the mayor?” she asked.

“Definitely,” Felicity said, straightening up a little bit. “Having the city’s leadership there will be essential. You should invite a good chunk of the district attorney’s office too. Oh and the Police Commissioner.”

Thea nodded, scribbling down the information.

“I’m thinking about scheduling it a month from now. That way it gives the press a chance to die down a little more and it gives us plenty of time to organize everything,” she said, glancing at Felicity.

“That sounds good to me. Where do you want to have it?”

With that, they immersed themselves in plans until the hour grew late and Felicity found herself feeling rather exhausted.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” Roy offered as she stood up.

“Oh I took a cab,” Felicity said, remembering that she didn’t want to park her car on the street just in case. “I can just call one.”

He scoffed, shaking his head.

“No one is gonna come out here this late,” he said.

Felicity sighed, realizing that she should have planned for that. She didn’t want to call for Dig this late, knowing that he’d probably be sleeping.

“I can give you a ride,” Thea said.

She shook her head, already pulling her phone out of her pocket to call the next person that entered her mind. Not even twenty minutes later, she hugged Thea and gave Roy a smile before heading out of the house to greet the car at the sidewalk. Oliver was waiting at the passenger door of a sleek sports car, opening it for her as she approached.

“I’m glad you called me,” he said, sounding on edge. “This is where Thea is staying?”

Felicity knew that it was just his overprotective instincts but she also knew that it wouldn’t go over well if he decided to confront his sister about it.

“Roy wouldn’t let anything happen to her,” she promised him before sliding into the seat.

His heavy sigh reached her ears just before he closed the door and rounded the car to his side. Once he was settled in his seat, Oliver turned the car on and pulled away from the curb carefully.

“Thank you for coming to get me,” Felicity said, making herself comfortable on the very expensive leather seat.

“Always,” Oliver said.

It might have been her exhaustion getting to her but Felicity wondered if she was maybe starting to believe him. He cruised through the streets pretty effortlessly all the way to her apartment building, parking in the visitor’s level of the garage that she directed him to. When he cut the engine, Felicity looked over at him and found him already watching her.

“Are you staying here tonight?” Felicity asked.

He swallowed visibly as that same hope filled his eyes.

“If you’ll have me,” Oliver said.

“Of course,” she said.

He looked relieved, turning to open his door. Felicity gathered up her purse as he climbed out and closed the driver door before walking around to open hers once more.

“Always,” she whispered under her breath just before he opened it.

* * *

The next day, at exactly six thirty in the evening, Oliver showed up at her door with several grocery bags in his hands.

“You came prepared,” Felicity acknowledged, stepping to the side. “Which is good because I think that all I have in my pantry is some crackers and canned soup.”

“I’ve definitely got more than that,” Oliver said, laying the bags on the counter.

She closed and locked her door before walking over, watching with her elbows propped on the counter as he started pulling stuff out. Oliver glanced up at her and frowned slightly.

“Long day?” he asked.

Felicity nodded, wondering how he knew.

“I think my supervisor is panicking about my promotion,” she said, leaning her head on her hand. “He keeps giving me the harder jobs so that they’ll get done before I leave IT.”

Oliver didn’t look happy about that and she knew why. Too much stress could affect the baby. But neither of them felt the need to say that out loud.

“It’ll take me some time to get this ready. Why don’t you go take a bath and relax for a while?” he suggested.

Felicity felt surprised at the suggestion but she couldn’t deny that sounded really good right now.

“You sure?” she asked.

Oliver nodded before a smile tugged at his lips.

“From what I hear, you probably shouldn’t be allowed anywhere near a stove,” he said.

She scoffed, throwing an empty grocery bag his way before turning to head back to her room. Felicity didn’t hesitate to turn on the water, keeping the temperature just above lukewarm like all of the pregnancy websites instructed. Stripping down to nothing, she slipped into the soothing water with a sigh, ducking under once to get her hair wet before leaning her head back and closing her eyes. Oliver was a genius at that moment, as far as Felicity was concerned. This was definitely what she needed, even if she couldn’t stay in for much longer than ten minutes.

By the time she climbed out and began drying off, her sore muscles were much less so and she felt a little bit of the tension seep out of her body. Throwing on a pair of cotton shorts and an old MIT shirt, Felicity padded back out to the delightful smell of something good cooking. Oliver was in front of the stove with the sleeves of his henley rolled up and a wooden spoon in hand. There was no doubt in Felicity’s mind that he could tell the moment she walked back into the room. Pulling herself up on a counter, she let her feet dangle as she watched him cook. It was almost fascinating and totally different from the Oliver that the rest of the world knew. There was something strangely intimate about it all.

“I’ve been thinking,” Felicity said.

He glanced over his shoulder at her, taking in her damp hair tied back in a braid and loose shirt. Felicity’s breath faltered slightly when his eyes dropped to her bare legs and seemed to darken just a little bit. Dismissing it as a trick of the light, she continued on.

“I think we should go see your mom,” Felicity said, drawing his eyes back up to hers. “Or you should go see her, if that’s better. But she shouldn’t find out about all of this from the news. She deserves to hear it straight from you. Or us. I plan on calling my mom in the next couple of weeks too.”

The last thought was meant to comfort him that he wouldn’t be the only one dealing with it but it definitely made her own pulse jump at the thought of Donna Smoak’s reaction to the news that her daughter was having a baby with Oliver Queen of all people.

“That’s a good idea,” Oliver agreed after a moment.

She nodded, relieved that he hadn’t dismissed it outright.

“I’d like you to be there, if that’s okay with you. I think it’s a good idea for her to meet you.”

Felicity’s eyes widened slightly. Even though she offered to go, it surprised her that he accepted.

“Are you sure?” she asked, kicking her legs back and forth nervously.

Oliver turned the temperature down on whatever he was boiling before turning to the side to look at her.

“I want her to be able to form her own opinions of you right away before she reads anything in the tabloids,” he said honestly.

Felicity took a deep breath, realizing the legitimate nature of his plan. Let his mom meet her before she read all the articles accusing the mother of her grandchild of being out for money. It was a good idea.

“Maybe if we tell her that Vanessa Harris approves of me, she’ll be less likely to turn me to stone,” Felicity said.

Oliver huffed out what might have been a laugh, shaking his head.

“My mom isn’t Medusa,” he said.

“Really? Because I’ve seen your cold stares and if it’s genetic at all, I’ll be counting my lucky stars that looks can’t actually kill,” Felicity said.

“She’ll love you,” Oliver said.

It was definitely a trick of her mind but Felicity wondered if he cut off so abruptly there to keep from saying three more, very dangerous words.

 _Like I do_.

There was a very low chance that Oliver actually loved her. While their one intimate encounter was fairly tender, Felicity didn’t let it fool her into thinking that his feelings for her went beyond that of a partner. Especially after he left her the way that he did. Still, just the thought of him saying that he loved her made her heart beat just a little bit quicker. Felicity blamed it on the hormones. She got so lost in her mind, and Oliver didn’t say anything to pull her out, that she didn’t really notice what he was doing until the stove was switched off and he was making up two plates of pasta with what looked like homemade tomato sauce.

“It’s a pretty simple meal,” Oliver said when he caught her watching curiously. “I didn’t want to make anything too rich in case your stomach isn’t as steady as we think.”

Felicity slipped off of the counter, steadying herself before speaking.

“It looks and smells wonderful,” she said.

Oliver looked a little proud as he carried their plates to the table. Once they sat down, Felicity didn’t really hesitate to pick up her fork and take a generous bite. It tasted just as delicious as it looked and smelled and she didn’t hesitate to inform him of that.

“Thank you,” he said, ducking his head with a smile before taking a bite of his own. They ate in relative silence, exchanging a few neutral remarks here and there until their plates were cleared. Felicity barely put her fork down before he was up on his feet and carrying their plates into the kitchen. When he turned around, there was hesitation on his face. Felicity stayed sitting, giving him a questioning look. He didn’t speak right away, leaning on the island several feet away from her.

“You said that you were going to call your mom and tell her the news,” he said, glancing up at her. “I noticed… well… I wondered…”

Felicity watched as he struggled to put his thoughts into words that he clearly didn’t want to bother her.

“You don’t want to tell your dad?” Oliver finally asked.

She stilled, gritting her teeth unconsciously. Swallowing hard, Felicity reached out to pick up her water, taking a very generous gulp to combat with her suddenly dry mouth.

“Felicity,” Oliver said warily, not missing her reaction.

“He’s not…” she shook her head, closing her eyes for just a moment. “He hasn’t been in the picture for a while.”

When she opened her eyes, Oliver was giving her a remorseful look. Before he could utter one word of apology, Felicity spoke again.

“He left when I was nine,” she said, looking down at her lap. “I thought that it was something I did wrong.”

A tear slipped down her cheek. Felicity didn’t even know when she started crying.

“He was just… gone. No explanation. No goodbye,” Felicity said, her voice barely above a whisper. “I never really stopped believe that if I just tried harder… if was better then maybe… maybe he would have stayed.”

She stopped, squeezing her eyes shut again. The silence in the room was thick, settling over them like a heavy weight.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Oliver finally said in a low voice.

Felicity choked on a sob, wiping the tears from her cheeks only for more to spill from her eyes. She knew, just as he did, that they weren’t just talking about her father.

“Maybe it is,” she said, shaking her head before looking up at him.

Oliver’s hands were pressed to the counter and he was staring at her with a myriad of emotions in his eyes. Anger at himself, sadness for her, desperation to make this better.

“People leave me,” Felicity said with a shrug, though her heart ached with the truth of it. “I guess I should be used to it by now.”

He was across the room and crouching in front of her in an instant. His gaze was tormented as he realized just how screwed up she was. Her lip trembled as a fresh wave of tears pricked at her eyes.

“Now you see why this baby has to be wanted?” Felicity said, her voice wavering. “They can’t know what it’s like. I won’t let it happen.”

She shook her head, pressing her hand over her stomach as if she could protect the little life there.

“I can’t let them feel like this.”

“They won’t,” Oliver said, taking her aback with his vehemence. “And neither will you. Never again. I will never leave you again.”

Felicity wanted to believe him. She was so desperate to believe his words that she thought she may shatter with the sheer intensity of it.

“Tell me what to do, Felicity,” Oliver said, nearly pleading as a sob ripped its way out of her throat.

Sliding off of her chair, Felicity carefully settled on her knees in front of him. Lifting her hands, she cupped his cheeks gently, feeling his rough stubble beneath her palms.

“Stay,” she said, her voice slightly hoarse. “Just stay.”

Oliver drew her in, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I will,” he said.

Sitting back on the uncomfortable, hard floor, Oliver gathered her in his lap and kissed the top of her head. Felicity turned her face into his shirt and cried for her nine-year-old self who couldn’t figure out what she’d done to make her father leave. She cried for her mother, who had to deal with the grief of losing a husband and a daughter who would never understand what happened. She cried for the Felicity that she was when Oliver left her and she cried for their child, who would hopefully never know the crushing anguish of being left behind. Lastly, she cried for the man holding her, who lived through so much and constantly tried to be better, even though he didn’t always succeed.

And when the tears dried up, Felicity lifted her head and looked in his eyes, feeling the weight on her heart ease up just a little bit. Oliver’s cheeks were wet and his eyes begged her to believe him. Pressing her forehead to his, Felicity took several deep breaths, letting them out slowly. He didn’t say a word, stroking her hair as she let herself relax into him as the minutes went by. It was impossible to know how long they sat there breathing each other in. Felicity didn’t pull away when she opened her mouth to speak, keeping her forehead touching his.

“I think I believe you,” she said tentatively.

Oliver’s body nearly slumped into her at the words as if her words lifted a weight from him as well. It wasn’t forgiveness, not quite yet. It was, however, a step in the right direction. Felicity stroked her fingers over the back of his neck as he took a deep, shaking breath.

“Thank you,” he finally said, his voice heavy with emotion.

Sitting there, both feeling rather raw and emotional, Felicity and Oliver felt a very tiny part of them heal. It wasn’t much, but it was a start. That was enough for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you think!
> 
>  
> 
> **tumblr -[dreamsofolicity](https://dreamsofolicity.tumblr.com/)  
> **  
>  twitter - [ogteamarrow](https://twitter.com/ogteamarrow)


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity experiences some new symptoms, she and Oliver visit Moira in prison, and something shocking happens at Queen Consolidated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the support. I know I keep saying it but I don't want you all to forget just how much it means to me.
> 
> I'm so sorry I'm reposting this chapter. The date ended up being wrong again because ao3 hates me.
> 
> FYI, Samantha is mentioned in this chapter but don't read too much into it. In this fic, she really did lose the baby. I love having William in the show but one surprise kid is enough for this particular story.
> 
> Felicity's Outfits: [At Felicity's Apartment](https://urstyle.com/styles/1833682) | [At the Prison](https://urstyle.com/styles/1833700) | [At Queen Consolidated](https://urstyle.com/styles/1833711)

Felicity had seen a lot of strange things that she never expected over the last year or so. It was part of working with Starling City’s resident vigilante. But ever since Oliver left town, returned, and now decided to give all of that up, her definition of strange had dialed back to being relatively normal, considering what it had been before. Seeing her own face on the television in her living room may not have been as weird as a bow-wielding avenger but it definitely felt bizarre. Especially since she was standing between Vanessa Harris and Ray Palmer as Harold Conway announced the new project to integrate Palmer Tech’s clean, innovative technology into Queen Consolidated’s daily workings, and Felicity’s involvement in the venture.

This was simply the first step and she knew that it wouldn’t be her last press conference. In a little over a month, Oliver would officially take over the helm and start leading Queen Consolidated. Shortly after that, they would have to release a public statement announcing the pregnancy. Felicity knew that the company’s PR team was hoping to announce an engagement right along with it. In spite of their recent progress, things got just a little more tense between Felicity and Oliver every time the subject of marriage came up. They never talked about it, even when others tried to push them into taking a stance on it.

“You did really good,” Oliver said from the kitchen as she watched herself smile at something witty Harold Conway said.

“I felt like i was going to faint,” Felicity said, leaning her head back against the couch. “I think the only thing that kept me grounded was the fact that I really had to pee.”

“That’s nothing new,” Thea piped up from the chair where she was sitting.

She huffed, knowing that she was right. It seemed that the second trimester was the beginning of a slow torture involving a rapidly growing baby and ensuing pressure on her bladder. She could barely make it a couple of hours before excusing herself to the bathroom.

“I’m just glad I was able to keep myself still. It probably wouldn’t be good for if general public’s first impression of me involved a pee dance,” Felicity said.

“As long as you didn’t pee _on_ anyone, you’re miles ahead of Ollie in terms of public appearances,” Thea said dryly.

Oliver shot his sister a look as Felicity bit back a laugh. Dig didn’t bother trying to do the same, guffawing from his place on her barstool. This hadn’t been a planned gathering. Somehow they all just ended up in Felicity’s apartment. She didn’t mind one bit. It felt almost natural, even though there was residual tension from Oliver leaving town. Even Thea didn’t seem to have quite forgotten about his sudden disappearance. Felicity was pulled from her thoughts when the man himself leaned over the back of the couch to deposit a warm bowl in her lap. She let out a delighted noise, picking up the spoon.

“This smells amazing,” she said before shoving a bite into her mouth without a second of hesitation.

“I was expecting weird cravings like pickles and ice cream or something,” Oliver said, rounding the couch as he watched her eat. “Not Kraft macaroni and cheese.”

“The little one and I make no apologies for what we want,” Felicity said once she swallowed before taking another good sized bite.

“You could have at least let someone order the gourmet stuff,” Thea said, wrinkling her nose. “Table Salt has some of the best white cheddar macaroni and cheese you’ll ever eat.”

She shook her head, licking a dollop of fake cheese sauce from the spoon.

“We like the cheap stuff,” Felicity said happily.

“Clearly,” Oliver said, sitting down on the other end of the couch.

She narrowed her eyes over at him.

“Own up to your half, Queen.”

He gave her a look of surprise as Felicity gestured with her spoon.

“I will not take full responsibility for this kid’s weirdness,” she said.

Thea snorted out a laugh.

“She’s right,” she said with a shrug when Oliver turned his attention to her.

He sighed, shaking his head as Felicity picked up the remote with a smile. After switching through a few stations to settle on an old episode of Buffy, she picked up her spoon and started eating again. Oliver shifted on the couch, stretching his arm along the back. His fingertips were almost touching her and, as she finished up her food and set the bowl aside, she found herself wondering what it would be like if he reached a little further and brushed his thumb over her shoulder. Heat rose in her chest at the thought of his touch and Felicity sank her teeth into her lower lip before shaking her head, wondering where the hell that intrusive thought came from. She tried to refocus on the television, curling her legs beneath her and keeping her hands firmly folded in her lap.

Then Oliver began tapping his fingers on the back of the couch. The movement caught her attention all too easily. It was impossible not to remember the way he’d touched her with those skilled, callused fingers on _that_ night. Felicity’s body warmed and she tried to concentrate on Buffy’s current vampire slayage rather than the memory of Oliver’s fingers brushing over her stomach, tweaking her nipples, and sliding between her slick folds to tease at her clit. Pressing her thighs together, she swallowed hard and turned towards Oliver, lifting her hand to stop his drumming. His eyes snapped to hers questioningly and Felicity could only hope that he couldn’t see the flush in her cheeks and desire in her eyes.

“Did you clear your schedule for tomorrow morning?” Felicity asked, trying to distract herself from the sudden rush of lust that seemingly came out of nowhere.

“I did,” he said, tilting his head to the side slightly. “We should be good to go.”

She nodded while inwardly instructing herself to pull her hand away from his in a very firm voice. Felicity really did start to obey her own command. Then her fingers brushed over his knuckles and Oliver’s eyes flickered to their hands, his mouth parting slightly out of surprise. Felicity did it again, tracing the veins and scars that stood out on the back of his hand. His eyes slowly lifted to meet hers again and she pressed her lips together, waiting for him to pull away. But then again, it had been her pulling away as of late. Maybe he was taking this as a sign that she was ready to stop pulling away. Felicity wasn’t even sure if she was ready to stop. All that she knew was that she had to quit touching him before toeing the line turned into stepping over it fully. Felicity stared into Oliver’s eyes, silently begging him to pull his hand away since she didn’t seem to have the strength to do so.

“Are you having another ultrasound tomorrow?” Thea asked, yanking them both out of the moment.

Felicity pulled her hand away as if she’d been caught, looking over at Thea with wide eyes.

“No,” she said, shaking her head as her mind started to clear. “That’s next week.”

Thea’s eyebrows rose questioningly but it was Oliver who answered.

“We’re going to see Mom.”

Felicity risked a glance Oliver’s way and was partly relieved and yet partly disappointed to find that his hand was back on his side of the couch.

“Oh,” Thea said.

She didn’t sound all that happy about it. Felicity knew that this was still a point of contention between the siblings. Oliver’s jaw tightened in response but he kept his eyes trained on the TV even though she knew damn well that he didn’t care about what was on it.

“We’re telling her,” Felicity said, her mediator side making an appearance. “About the baby.”

Thea hummed in response, pointedly looking away as well. It was very easy to see the similarities between the two Queens in that moment.

“You could always come with us,” Oliver said, resignation in his voice. “She’d love to see you.”

He sounded as though he already knew what her answer would be. Sure enough, Thea shook her her head and rolled her eyes.

“I’m sure she would,” she said, standing up from the couch. “But unfortunately I would not love to see her.”

“Speedy-”

Thea cut Oliver off with a look.

“I should be getting to the club,” she said, walking into the kitchen to grab her purse from the counter.

Felicity glanced over her shoulder and watched as Thea went to the door.

“I’ll see you later,” the younger girl said.

She nodded, forcing a smile onto her face. Once Thea was gone, Felicity looked over at Oliver only to see him staring down at his lap as his hand closed into a fist before opening again. He repeated the motion several times before lifting his eyes to meet her gaze.

“Sorry about that,” he said in a low voice.

Felicity shook her head and started to lift her hand.

“I guess that’s my cue,” Diggle said before she could.

They both looked over at him as he stood up.

“You need a lift home?” he asked, looking at Oliver.

Without answering, Oliver looked at Felicity. She knew that he was silently asking her. With a small shake of her head, she answered his question.

“I’m good for the night, Dig,” he said, looking over at their friend.

“See you both tomorrow,” Diggle said, shaking Oliver’s hand and squeezing Felicity’s shoulder lightly before letting himself out as well.

Once he was gone, they were left alone with the residual tension in the room. And not just from Thea’s scene. Felicity tried to return her attention to the show but nothing could make her forget the man sitting only a foot or so away from her. Especially not when she seemed to be reliving their night together more often than not lately.

“You okay?” Oliver asked quietly.

She nodded, reaching back to mess with her loose bun.

“Are you?” Felicity asked, peeking over at him.

Oliver didn’t say anything, rubbing at his jaw as he leaned forward.

“The five years I spent away and the last year dealing with some of the worst that Starling City has to offer taught me that I do not like situations I can’t control,” he said, setting his elbows on his knees.

“A control problem? You? I would have never guessed.”

His eyes cut over to her and Felicity quietly apologized, turning to face him more fully with her knees drawn up to her chest.

“I can’t fix this thing between Thea and my mom,” Oliver said, shaking his head. “It would be easier if I thought there was unlimited time but… the trial is only months away. And if they seek the death penalty-”

“Hey,” Felicity cut him off, scooting across the couch towards him.

She reached out, setting her hand on his shoulder.

“Thea will come around on her own,” Felicity said as he looked over at her. “And your mom will come through this. She has one of the best attorneys in the state preparing a defense for her and a pretty good case for forced cooperation. This situation may be out of your control but that does not mean that it’s hopeless.”

Oliver swallowed hard, looking away from her again.

“Tommy died still thinking that I was a murderer,” he said in a quiet voice, clasping his hands tightly together. “The last thing he asked is if I killed his father. I lied.”

Felicity didn’t say anything. There wasn’t anything she _could_ say. Other than mentioning it to her once, he hadn’t talked about that night and Tommy at all. It made her wish that she had the magical words to make him feel better about it.

“I keep thinking that maybe if I had lived up to the man that Tommy expected me to be, if I had let Malcolm live to be imprisoned and tried, maybe my mom would be facing less consequences. Maybe the pressure wouldn’t be on the district attorney and the judge to make her pay for the deaths of five hundred and three people. If I hadn’t killed Malcolm, maybe there would be more hope.”

She shook her head, squeezing his shoulder.

“You can’t put this burden on your shoulders, Oliver,” Felicity said.

“Why not?” he asked, meeting her eyes again. “That’s where it belongs.”

“No. Malcolm Merlyn is to blame. _He_ killed five hundred and three people in the Glades, including Tommy. And _he_ coerced your mother into helping him. Just because you couldn’t stop it doesn’t mean that blood is on your hands. You didn’t fail this city. Malcolm did.”

Oliver stared at her, looking as though he was in disbelief.

“I don’t understand how you of all people can see anything good in me,” he said.

Felicity closed her eyes, taking a deep breath.

“Oliver you did not leave me because you are a bad person,” she said without opening her eyes. “If you had, it would make it all a lot easier to stomach. You left because you truly thought that you were doing the right thing.”

Finally opening her eyes, Felicity saw him staring at her with a pained expression.

“Whether you believe it or not, your heart is good. And you are, at times, selfless to the point of infuriating frustration. Am I afraid that I will wake up one day to find that you’ve decided me and this baby are better off without you? Yes. Do I think that you will ever leave us out of selfish desire to keep living your life without us tying you down? No. That’s the difference between you and the people you’ve taken down. Even when you make the worst possible decision, you are never doing it because you’re not good.”

Oliver didn’t say anything for a long few moments. Then he turned towards her, reaching out to brush his thumb over her cheek. Felicity tried not to react to it but, given her recent reaction to just the thought of him touching her, she felt arousal stir low in her belly as she tried to fight the desire for him to touch her elsewhere. This was not the time to get turned on but him touching her face. She forced herself to concentrate on him.

“I will tell you this every single day for the rest of our lives if that is what it takes for you to believe me,” Oliver said, his voice wavering slightly as his emotions bled into his words. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Felicity nodded, knowing that he meant it. Moving even closer to him, even though it was dangerous for her self-control, she slid her arms around his neck and pressed her face into his shoulder.

“Don’t tell me,” she said quietly as his arms slid around her waist. “Show me.”

Oliver relaxed beneath her touch, nodding his head.

“I will,” he vowed.

* * *

Iron Heights wasn’t a happy place by any means. Felicity felt the doom and gloom settle over her as soon as they drove through the gates. After a thorough amount of paperwork and an intimate pat down that Oliver apologized for as soon as it was over, they were finally allowed into the visitor room. Felicity couldn’t help but feel restless as they waited to see his mother.

“We didn’t come up with a game plan,” she said, pacing back and forth while Oliver sat on a bench at one of the tables.

He gave her a questioning look and she shrugged, continuing on her path.

“Do we break it to her gently? Rip off the band-aid? Should I leave the room while you ease her into it and then come in to introduce myself? Should we do… I don’t know… charades or something?”

“Charades?” Oliver repeated, raising one eyebrow in her direction.

Felicity’s cheeks flushed and she shook her head.

“No charades,” she said, not wanting to act out that particular story in front of anyone, especially not Moira Queen.

“I think gentle easing is the way to go,” Oliver said.

She let out a heavy sigh.

“I bet you hoped never to have this conversation with your mother,” Felicity said, still pacing.

“I’ve actually had it before.”

She stopped in place, her eyes widening as those words really set in. Turning to face Oliver slowly, she took several deep breaths before saying anything.

“What does that mean?” Felicity asked slowly.

Oliver looked slightly alarmed, as if he didn’t really intend to say that.

“A few months before the Gambit, a girl I was with for just one night came to me and told me that she was pregnant. I told my mom and she promised that we’d figure it out.”

Felicity pressed her lips together as her mind whirled with the new information.

“You must have super sperm or something,” she said under her breath.

Oliver still heard it. A frown formed on his face as he rubbed his forefinger and thumb together.

“So, what, you have some kid out there that you don’t know?” Felicity asked, her anger rising.

“No,” he said quickly, shaking his head. “Samantha lost the baby before there was time to figure anything out.”

Relief filled her. Not because a woman lost her child but because Felicity could keep going with this knowing that Oliver didn’t have a child in the world that he abandoned. That would definitely be too much for her to handle.

“And your mother didn’t, you know, want to throttle anyone when you told her?” she asked, walking over to him slowly.

“She was actually pretty levelheaded about it. I expected a lot of disappointment and yelling but she took it well,” Oliver said.

“Well I guess we’ll be testing her a second time,” Felicity sighed, sinking down to sit next to him on the bench. “I better hope that Moira Queen hasn’t learned how to make a shank or anything.”

Oliver almost looked amused for a moment before they heard the door open. Then his face hardened and he folded his hands atop the table. Felicity knew that it was difficult for him to see his mother like this but she didn’t realize how tough it would be on _her_ to see the woman who came through the door. She was almost unrecognizable. Felicity may have only met her once but it was enough to realize that this place was not good for her health, either mentally, physically, or emotionally. Yet she managed a smile for her son, hugging him tightly once they removed the cuffs. Then her eyes flickered to Felicity with confusion and surprise.

“Mom, I don’t know if you remember Felicity Smoak,” Oliver said.

“You came to visit Walter in the hospital,” Moira said, her memory as sharp as her eyes.

“It’s nice to meet you… again,” Felicity said, feeling more awkward than ever. “I’m sorry to intrude on your time with Oliver.”

The older woman glanced at her son, clearly expecting an explanation.

“Let’s sit,” he suggested.

Moira did so, taking a seat on the other side of the table as Oliver lowered himself down at Felicity’s side once more.

“I’m beginning to think that this visit isn’t simply for the sake of seeing your mother,” Moira said.

“I would have come to see you no matter what, Mom,” Oliver assured her before glancing Felicity’s way. “But we do have something to tell you.”

She waited, clearly ready to remain silent until they told her what it was.

“I know I haven’t talked about her much but Felicity… well, she means a lot to me,” Oliver said, facing his mother once more as Felicity’s heart skipped a beat at his words. “Over the past year, ever since I returned to the city, she’s been imperative in helping me adjust to being back home. Because of her role as a friend and a confidant, we’ve grown very close.”

It was a sugar coated explanation but Felicity couldn’t find any fault in the words that he spoke.

“She’s become a big part of my life and she is going to be a part of my future in an even bigger way. That’s what we’ve come to tell you.”

Moira’s eyes were narrowed by now and Felicity had a feeling that she was starting to figure out what was going on. Placing her hand over Oliver’s, she looked over at him.

“Usually rambling is my thing,” she said, wondering why the normally blunt Oliver Queen was talking around the point so much.

“It’s… I’m…” Oliver trailed off with a sigh. “Felicity and I are…”

He didn’t say anything else, clearly grappling for a nice way to tell his mother that he knocked up his friend after a one night stand before leaving town for a couple of months.

“We’re pregnant,” Felicity finally said, her heart pounding away in her chest. “Well, I’m pregnant. Oliver is the father. We’re having a baby. That sounds better.”

Moira’s eyes widened and she stared straight at Oliver, clearly unable to wrap her mind around it just yet.

“I guess we’re ripping off the band-aid,” he muttered under his breath.

Felicity barely kept herself from apologizing. Instead, more words began spilling from her lips.

“I’m fifteen weeks along,” she continued, unable to get her mouth to stop working. “The baby is healthy. I think it’s almost the size of an apple now.”

Felicity glanced over at Oliver, who was currently engaged in a staredown with his mother. Since neither of the Queens were ready to talk, she took it upon herself to keep going. Reaching into his pants pocket, Felicity produced his wallet and pulled his ultrasound picture out, sliding it across the table to Moira.

“He or she is pretty active, or so they say. I can’t feel it right now but i’m sure I will at some point.”

Moira didn’t even look down at the picture. Instead her gaze flickered to Felicity, taking on accusing glint before she looked back at Oliver.

“Vanessa Harris came to visit me. She told me all about the company and the steps that everyone is taking to revitalize the image and reassure the board of directors,” she said, keeping her voice level as she still watched her son. “I was told that a very brilliant young woman from the IT department has been chosen to spearhead a project to integrate clean technology into Queen Consolidated. I assume that this is the same Miss Smoak that was mentioned.”

“Yes,” Oliver said.

Moira’s mouth twitched as Felicity held Oliver’s wallet a little tighter in her hands.

“I’m disappointed in you Oliver,” she said.

“Mom-”

“First you do not want anything to do with the company and now that you are taking over as CEO, you decide to promote whoever this is to a better job. Why? Because she happened to fall into bed with you.”

“That is not what happened,” Felicity said before Oliver could get another word in, outraged on behalf of both of them. “I earned my place. I graduated among the top of my class from MIT and I have worked my ass off every day in your company’s IT department. Vanessa Harris and Harold Conway chose me because I am good at what I do. And I mean no offense when I say that people like me are exactly what Queen Consolidated needs right now because without us, there will be no company when you get out of prison. I was chosen to lead this project before Oliver announced his intent to take over as CEO and way before anyone knew that we are together. I’m sorry for my bluntness, Mrs. Queen, but I did not just happen to fall into bed with your son and I did not sleep my way to this job. I deserve it.”

With that, she tossed Oliver’s wallet on the table in front of him. As she pushed herself to stand, both Oliver and his mother spoke at the same time.

“Felicity.”

“Miss Smoak.”

She stopped, her gaze swinging between the both of them before settling on Oliver.

“My mom didn’t mean anything by it,” he said quietly.

Felicity narrowed her eyes at him but didn’t say anything as her eyes flickered to Moira.

“I apologize for assuming that you took advantage of my son,” she said, though there was a slight bit of annoyance in her tone. “Our family’s position and means often attract people who want something from us. I am used to protecting my children. Please forgive my harsh words.”

Slowly, Felicity sank down to retake her seat. Moira looked like she was trying to gather her thoughts. As she did so, Oliver reached under the table and took her hand, squeezing it with an apologetic look in his eyes. Felicity tightened her fingers around his for just a moment, knowing that he didn’t mean for his mother to upset her.

“So you two are together?” Moira said carefully, clasping her hands primly on the table.

“We’re… working things out,” Oliver said, glancing at Felicity to make sure that his wording was okay.

She nodded once before refocusing on his mother. It was probably better not to air out the exact complications to his mother since they hadn’t really worked through all of it themselves.

“Our priorities are this baby and then the company. Oliver and I want to ensure that there is a good future for both of them,” Felicity said diplomatically.

“Does Thea know?” Moira asked.

Oliver nodded once.

“She really likes Felicity,” he said.

That brought a slight flush to Felicity’s cheeks as she fought down a smile. It seemed to be enough for Moira, who nodded as well. There was a trace of sadness in her eyes that clearly traced back to the fact that her daughter had yet to visit her. But before anyone could say anything more, Moira straightened up and lifted her chin. In that moment, she looked more like the woman that Felicity remembered from before.

“This may be just what our family needs,” she said.

For just a moment, Felicity thought that she was referring to the questionable reputation of the Queen family due to Moira’s own admitted crimes. She was about to open her mouth to argue that this baby wasn’t going to be PR bait for them to dangle so that everyone may be more inclined to forgive Moira’s involvement with the Undertaking. Then the other woman spoke again.

“A little happiness right now can only help,” Moira said.

Felicity felt bad for judging her wrong. With a nod and a slight smile, she found herself appreciating Moira’s strength. Even if they didn’t see eye to eye on everything, at least Moira understood about this child. Oliver looked relieved, reaching across the table to take his mother’s hand as he squeezed the one still holding Felicity’s.

“Now we just have to focus on getting you out of here so you can meet your grandchild,” he said.

Moira looked emotional for a moment, tears gathering in her eyes as she nodded.

“One can only hope.”

* * *

The worst part about Felicity’s new bladder issues was the fact that they were starting to wake her up in the middle of the night. It was a good thing that she had an en suite bathroom so that she didn’t wake Oliver up every time she had to pee. Felicity just wished that the baby would give her one night without waking up to stagger out of her bed. It didn’t seem like that was going to happen anytime soon.

“I’m making a list of what people don’t tell you about pregnancy and posting it everywhere,” Felicity muttered as she shuffled back out of her bathroom, switching off the light as she went.

She barely managed to slide back beneath her blankets and get comfortable before she realized that she was absolutely parched. Another symptom of pregnancy apparently. She couldn’t seem to drink enough water lately. Knowing that she wouldn’t get any sleep without drinking some now, Felicity cursed under her breath as she climbed back out from beneath her comfortable covers and made her way to the door. It was only when she opened it and slipped out into the hallway that she realized what was out of place.

Oliver’s door was open. There weren’t any other lights on in the apartment so Felicity knew that he probably wasn’t in another room, unless he was sitting in the dark. It wasn’t outside of the realm of possibility, he did still tend to brood, but she just had a feeling that he wasn’t anywhere else. Tiptoeing as quietly as she could, Felicity made her way to his doorway and peered in. Sure enough, he was fast asleep in her guest bed, laid out on his stomach with the blankets gathered at his waist and his hands hidden beneath his pillow.

Moonlight streamed in through the window to his right, illuminating his back and all of the scars there. Felicity leaned against the door frame, taking in the raised cuts and mottled, healed burns. She couldn’t help but shudder as she imagined all of the pain he had gone through. No one deserved all of that. Especially not Oliver. Felicity knew for a fact that he was on guard at all times, even in his sleep. It was strange that he would leave his door open when that left him vulnerable to an attack. There was only one reason that she could think of that he wouldn’t close his door and lock it.

To protect her.

Felicity could imagine that he would want the quickest access to her in case something happened. Even at the expense of his personal comfort, he would keep the door open. She shook her head, wishing that she could convince him to be a little more selfish sometimes. The door would only be a small barrier to him if something did happen. Felicity trusted that he would get to her no matter what. But she also knew that there was little she could do to convince him to keep it closed.

As her eyes drifted over him, she wondered what would happen if she slid into that bed beside him and stroked her hand over his back. She pressed her lips together as she imagined kissing each and every one of his scars. It wouldn’t make the painful memory of them disappear but it might give him new, better memories to connect to them. But that would definitely be crossing the metaphorical line that Felicity herself had drawn when she told him that she wasn’t ready.

She could tell the moment that his finely honed instincts overrode his body’s need to sleep. As his muscles tensed and his head turned just slightly, Felicity started to take a slow step back. Then he was sitting up in a swift movement that pulled a gasp from her lips. Oliver’s bare chest heaved as he stared at her through the darkness, recognition seeping in through the alert defensiveness in his eyes.

“Is everything okay?” he asked, his voice rough with sleep as the tension seeped out of him.

Felicity nodded, guilt rising in her.

“I’m just getting water,” she said, taking another step back. “Sorry for waking you up.”

She turned away and walked quickly towards her kitchen before he could say anything else. Felicity tried not to think about heading right back into his room to straddle his lap and run her fingers through that messy hair of his. A wave of heat flooded her body and she let out a frustrated noise, wondering where all of this desire was coming from. She knew that more hormones meant being a little horny, especially in this trimester, but she didn’t expect it to be this overwhelming. Having Oliver around, especially shirtless, was always bound to get her a little turned on. But this was started to become ridiculous.

When she heard a soft noise behind her, Felicity whirled around and caught sight of Oliver standing in the entrance to the hallway, his soft flannel pants riding low on his hips. The sight nearly made her whine as her eyes took in his defined muscles and the soft, sleepy look on his face. Yeah, her libido was definitely out of control. Warmth pooled in the apex of her thighs as she took a long drink of cool water in an effort to calm her racing heart. Every fiber of her being longed for her to cross the room and climb him like a fucking tree. It took all of her self control to remain right where she was.

“You should go back to sleep,” Felicity said, vaguely aware of how off her voice sounded.

Oliver seemed to notice as well. He made his way into the kitchen with a frown, clearly suspecting that something was wrong. Felicity clasped her water glass in both hands to keep from reaching out to him.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” he asked.

She nodded, sinking her teeth into her lower lip to bite down painfully, hoping it might drag her out of the haze of desire that clouded her mind at the moment.

“You’re flushed,” Oliver said, reaching out to brush his thumb over her hot cheek.

Felicity couldn’t help but turned her face towards his touch as her body shuddered.

“Oliver,” she breathed out, well aware that it almost sounded like a moan.

He stilled, his thumb still on her cheek as he registered the undertone of want in her voice. Felicity swallowed hard, looking up into his burning gaze. Then Felicity stepped away and watched as his hand fell back to his side. She mustered up every bit of courage she had to keep from taking that step back forward.

“Hormones,” she said, shaking her head. “Don’t worry about me.”

With that, she set her glass down on the counter and practically ran back to her room, closing the door behind her as her body and mind pushed her to go back and let him satisfy her desire. Throwing herself into her bed, Felicity turned on her side and shoved her hands beneath her pillow as she pressed her thighs firmly together so that she wouldn’t slip her fingers into her panties to satisfy herself. There was no way that she could pleasure herself with Oliver at the forefront of her mind while knowing that he was out there most likely willing and ready to bring her to the edge himself. She gritted her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut, trying not to imagine him peeling her clothes off and using his lips, fingers, and cock to give her multiple orgasms.

It didn’t work.

Felicity was so screwed.

* * *

She managed to keep her distance from Oliver the next morning, refusing to meet his gaze as she went through her morning routine and got out of her apartment earlier than usual. He’d started to keep a few suits and other clothes at her apartment to make it easier on himself. Usually Felicity didn’t mind but that particular morning, she couldn’t imagine being anywhere close while knowing that he was in the shower naked. So she left early, grabbed a cup of hot tea from the cafe around the corner from her apartment, and headed into work.

The day was pretty easy until lunch came around. Felicity was called out of her office to meet with the few members of her team that had already been chosen as well as Ray Palmer. He had a lot of great ideas. Felicity couldn’t help but appreciate his intellect and all that he’d already done with Palmer Technologies. He would definitely be a great asset as they integrated some of his own technology into Queen Consolidated. It helped that he was very nice and somewhat funny. As they made their way back into the building after lunch, Felicity found herself laughing at something he said just as they crossed the lobby and one of the elevators dinged open. Her laughter instantly died on her lips when she saw Oliver step out with Harold Conway. Remembering how badly she’d wanted to kiss him, among other things, she tried to hide her blushing face as they were noticed.

“Miss Smoak, Mr. Palmer,” Mr. Conway said, approaching them with Oliver not far behind.

They both greeted him as Felicity tried her level best not to meet Oliver’s gaze.

“It’s good to see you two getting along,” the interim CEO said, shaking Ray’s hand.

“Well you chose the perfect person to oversee this project,” Ray said, nodding over at Felicity. “She’s got a brilliant mind.”

Felicity smiled, brushing her hair behind her ear.

“I’m just glad you’re giving me so many toys to play with,” she said.

“Mr. Queen, have you met Mr. Palmer?” Mr. Conway asked.

Oliver shook his head, reaching out to shake Ray’s hand as well.

“Please call me Ray.”

“And you can call me Oliver,” he said.

“Well I best be getting back to my own company. I just wanted to make sure Felicity here made it back in alright,” Ray said, taking a step away from all of them.

“Bye,” Felicity said, waving at him.

Once he was gone, she shifted awkwardly on her feet as she still tried to keep from looking at Oliver.

“I must say, Miss Smoak, you are absolutely glowing,” Mr. Conway said.

She smiled brightly in response.

“Thank you,” Felicity said, her hand fluttering over her stomach. “I’m actually feeling pretty good.”

“That’s wonderful. Mr. Queen here is a very lucky man,” he said.

Her eyes betrayed her, darting over to Oliver just in time to see him nodding.

“I am,” he said, his eyes staring straight into Felicity’s.

“You two will let us know if there is anything we can do for you,” Mr. Conway said, pulling their attention back to him. “Queen Consolidated is a family and you two are the future of the company. Whatever we can do to help, even after Oliver takes his place as CEO in a month, I promise it will be done.”

Felicity felt a surge of gratitude for the man who had been nothing but supportive and kind since she first met him.

“Thank you so much, Mr. Conway,” she said.

He nodded, giving her a somewhat fatherly smile before nodding at Oliver.

“I’ll give you two a moment while they pull around the car.”

They watched as he walked away just before Felicity turned to meet Oliver’s eyes.

“We should talk about last night,” he said quietly.

She took a deep, shaking breath.

“It was nothing,” Felicity said.

“It was something,” he argued.

She shook her head, not wanting to tell him just how much her body burned for him. Either he would take it badly and tell her that they should keep it platonic between them or he would encourage her to give in, and she’d have a very hard time refusing that offer. Felicity wasn’t sure which one was worse. Before she could figure out what to say, they heard commotion just outside of the doors. The sound of squealing tires and panicked shouts reached their ears as a plain black van drove directly up onto the sidewalk in front of Queen Consolidated. Before she could really process it, three men jumped out of the van with machine guns in their hands.

They were dressed all in black with hoods over their heads. Oliver’s hand shot out to take Felicity’s, squeezing tightly as he pulled her close to him. They looked far too familiar. Her heart pounded in her chest as they shouted something over the mayhem. It was muffled by the closed doors but whatever they said, it was all directed at Harold Conway himself. Then they opened fire and Felicity’s scream was one of many as the temporary CEO of Queen Consolidated, who had just shared such compassionate words with them, was killed right before their eyes.

Then she was behind a pillar and Oliver was distantly shouting at her to stay down as he pushed her down to sit. Felicity didn’t think that she could move even if she wanted to. Her entire body was shaking as Oliver shielded her from sight, crouched before her as he leaned around the pillar to see what was going on. Felicity reached out, her hands gripping the lapels of his jacket as she started to pull him back to safety. Back towards her. But Oliver was talking, trying to peel away her grip.

“They’re gone,” he said, his voice sounding far away.

Felicity closed her eyes, unable to stop seeing Mr. Conway’s body as the bullets ripped through him.

“You have to go help him,” she said, vaguely aware of the tears that spilled out over her cheeks.

Oliver looked at her and she could see the truth in his eyes. She let him lean her back against the pillar and nodded when he told her to stay there. Felicity knew that he wanted to go help the people who had been caught in the crossfire. Even though Mr. Conway was clearly the target, there was no telling how many people had been hit by the spray of bullets. When she managed to get herself under control, Felicity would go out and see if there was anything she could do. But until then, she would sit there and try not to think about what might have happened if Oliver hadn’t stopped to talk to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you think!
> 
>  **tumblr -[dreamsofolicity](https://dreamsofolicity.tumblr.com/)  
> **  
>  twitter -[ogteamarrow](https://twitter.com/ogteamarrow)


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oliver and Felicity deal with the aftermath of the attack on Queen Consolidated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone for the support you're showing this fic. I can't say enough how much I appreciate it. I love you all.
> 
> This is a fairly emotional chapter. I hope that you like it as much as I loved writing it.
> 
> Felicity's Outfits: [Felicity's Apartment](https://urstyle.com/styles/1834123) | [Queen Consolidated](https://urstyle.com/styles/1834130)

Felicity felt like the world was moving just a little bit slower as she walked through the lobby of Queen Consolidated. She had to shuffle through a few terrified employees before pushing the door open and stepped outside, sidestepping broken glass as she went. The sun was shining too brightly and there was far less noise than she expected. All of the police cars and ambulances had their sirens turned off and there was a wide barrier set up keeping people not only off the sidewalk, but away from the street surrounding the building as well.

She felt a presence at her side and didn’t have to look to know that it was Dig. His hand settled on her shoulder as she did her best to keep her eyes off of the bloodstained pavement. Oliver was standing about fifteen feet away with his jacket discarded somewhere and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He was talking to a detective with a deep set frown on his face. Felicity could see dried blood on his shirt and his hands. Felicity didn’t watch when he rushed out into the fray but she assumed that he did his best to help the injured people on the sidewalk until the ambulances arrived.

“He was supposed to walk out with Mr. Conway,” Felicity said, thinking out loud more than talking to Dig. “He stopped to talk to me. That’s the only thing that kept him from being out here when they started shooting.”

She looked down at her still trembling hands.

“That boy’s luck never runs out,” Dig sighed.

Felicity swallowed hard just as her eyes settled on the blood she had been trying so hard not to see.

“I’m not sure I would call it luck,” she said, unable to look away. “He wasn’t the target.”

“You think they were after Harold Conway?”

She didn’t answer. It was only when she saw someone approaching out of the corner of her eye that Felicity even looked up. Quentin Lance looked tired. That was the first thing that Felicity noticed about him. The second was his uniform. It looked strange.

“Miss Smoak, Mr. Diggle,” he said in greeting.

“Detective,” Felicity said.

“Officer,” he corrected.

She winced at her mistake.

“I’m sorry.”

Lance shrugged it off before giving her a concerned look.

“You okay?” he asked.

Felicity nodded, though she wasn’t entirely sure.

“I was in the lobby when it happened. I saw everything but I wasn’t in any danger,” she said.

Dig squeezed her shoulder before stepping off to speak to the head of security at Queen Consolidated. Felicity wasn’t surprised that he may have some ideas about what to do now.

“And our green friend?” Lance asked, stepping in a little closer as he lowered his voice. “You heard from him?”

“No,” Felicity said, keeping her eyes on him so that she didn’t look at Oliver. “I haven’t seen him in a long time.”

He let out a deep sigh, taking a look around as she fidgeted with a strap on her purse.

“Maybe he really did die in that quake,” Lance said, resigned.

“I still have hope,” Felicity said, surprising herself as much as him with the words. “I think he may come back.”

“Can’t believe I’m saying this but the sooner the better. This city’s getting worse.”

Lance returned his gaze to her before she could say anything, giving her a tight-lipped smile.

“You take care of yourself, you hear?” he said.

Felicity nodded, unable to quite force a smile onto her face.

“You too,” she said just before he walked away.

Once she was left alone again, her eyes fell on the stains of blood once more entirely against her will. Felicity couldn’t stop seeing the men in the black hoods. They were masked and impossible to identify. But she had a few tricks up her sleeve and if there was a chance she could find how who they were, even if it meant giving the information to the SCPD instead of Oliver, she would have to try. For Mr. Conway, if nothing else. She didn’t even see someone heading her way until a gentle hand lifted her chin. Oliver stared down at her with concern.

“I wish you would have stayed inside,” he said quietly.

“How many?” Felicity asked, ignoring him.

Oliver didn’t answer right away. She could see the indecision in his eyes. He wasn’t sure whether telling her was a good idea.

“I’ll find out anyway,” she told him.

It was true. Even if the police were keeping the press at bay for now, eventually something would leak. Someone would put out a press release. Details would emerge no matter what.

“Four dead,” Oliver finally said, reluctance clear in his voice. “Nine injured, two of them critical.”

Felicity inhaled deeply, squeezing her eyes shut.

“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to seeing someone die,” she said so quietly that she wasn’t sure Oliver could even hear her.

But of course he did. Felicity didn’t fight him as he pulled her into his arms, laying her cheek over his chest before dropping a kiss to the top of her head. She let him hold her, even lifted her arms to wrap around his waist. It was hard to remember why forgiveness was so hard when Felicity got so close to losing Oliver, for good this time. The ache in her chest when he left her would be nothing compared to the heartbreak she would have felt if the blood on the pavement outside of Queen Consolidated belonged to him. Felicity knew that for sure. She just had no idea what to do now.

* * *

 

The only source of light in her living room was the glow of her laptop as she sat at her desk typing away. Since coffee and alcohol weren’t an option, Felicity had to content herself with drinking some of her leftover ginger tea. It wouldn’t do much to keep her from falling asleep but that’s not what she needed at the moment. The graphic images and tornado of thoughts running through her head at a near constant pace were enough to keep her wide awake. That was how she found herself out of bed and running nearly a dozen searches at the same time.

It would be easier if she had the computers down in the foundry but Felicity knew she couldn’t get away with driving across town right now. Especially not to the Glades. Verdant was already closed for the night but she knew that Oliver and Dig would have strong words for her if they found out that she made the trip all by herself. So here she sat, following every possible lead that she could think of because she had to do something to keep her brain and her hands busy or else she might go crazy just laying in her bed reliving the shooting over and over again.

“What are you doing?”

Felicity nearly leapt out of her chair at the sound of Oliver’s rough, sleepy voice behind her. She was surprised that she hadn’t woken him up long before now. Even though she tried her best to be quiet, Oliver’s instincts were hard to circumvent. She didn’t answer him, biting down on her lower lip as she peered at the footage from the security cameras outside of Queen Consolidated.

“Felicity,” Oliver sighed, moving closer to her.

“The van is clean,” she said, pausing for just a moment as she paused the screen on a view of the license plate. “The plates are a dead end and they’re all wearing masks so a facial recognition program would be useless.”

“You shouldn’t be doing this right now,” he said, standing just behind her chair now.

Felicity took a deep breath, flexing her fingers as she resisted the urge to turn around. If she looked in his eyes, he’d hook her. And if he hooked her, somehow he would convince her to go back to bed. But not only couldn’t she sleep, she didn’t want to. Felicity didn’t want to face the nightmares that would surely come as soon as she closed her eyes.

“I’ve been looking into everything,” Felicity said, running a hand through her hair. “It doesn’t make sense. Hundreds of dirty businessmen in Starling City and these guys manage to go after the one that is clean as whistle. There’s nothing in Harold Conway’s background. His accounts are all in order. No embezzling. No mysterious transactions. He wasn’t on the list. He had nothing to do with the Undertaking..”

She shook her head, pulling up another search.

“There is absolutely nothing in his past or present that leads to anything illegal. He really is as good as he seems. Or he was… I guess.”

“Felicity,” Oliver repeated her name.

She slipped off her glasses and pushed herself up to stand before he could squat next to her, feeling his eyes on her as she paced her living room.

“I don’t know why he was targeted,” Felicity said, rubbing at her forehead. “Those men said something to him. No one in the crowd heard what it was. If we could know what they said, it might tell us why they went after him. Maybe there’s a witness that didn’t come forward or something. If I go through the footage, I may find someone that heard and…”

Oliver stopped her with his hands on her arms, staring down at her with understanding in his eyes.

“I know,” he said, his voice gentle.

Felicity stared up at him, her chest heaving as her thought process came to a very sudden stop.

“I know that you want to do something to help but this is the job of the police,” Oliver continued, brushing her hair back over her ear. “It’s up to them to handle it.”

She frowned at him, unable to quite wrap her mind around what he was saying.

“It didn’t used to be,” Felicity said, stepping out of his arms. “In fact, this used to be exactly what  _ we _ would handle.”

Oliver heaved out a sigh as she turned her back on him to return to her computer.

“I told you why we’re not doing that anymore,” he said quietly.

“You,” Felicity corrected him before she could stop herself, turning around to face him. “ _ You _ aren’t doing it anymore. I’m not sure when your choice to stop trying to save this city meant that I have to stop too. I’m really not sure when your decisions became mine as well. But since we’re on the subject, let me make it clear that my decisions are my own and this is my home as much as it is yours.”

Oliver looked vaguely alarmed and confused at her outpour of words but Felicity wasn’t done.

“They killed innocent people, Oliver,” Felicity said, doing her best to ignore the stinging in her eyes. “Harold Conway was innocent. He didn’t deserve to die like that. None of those people did. They had families. They had friends. Just like me. So what gives me the right to sit here doing nothing when I could at least try to help find their murderers before more people die? Why shouldn’t I use my skills to find these sons of bitches?”

Oliver crossed over to her again, putting both of his hands on her cheeks.

“Breathe,” he said.

Felicity shook her head, realizing that that her cheeks were wet with tears and her breaths were coming in short bursts.

“I can’t,” she cried, reaching up to squeeze his wrists. “Oliver, I can’t…”

“Shhh,” he whispered, brushing her tears away. “Take a deep breath with me. You can do it. Inhale. Exhale.”

It took almost a minute for her to match her breaths to his. Felicity closed her eyes, focusing on slowing the rapid pace of her heart.

“Good,” Oliver praised, brushing a kiss over her forehead. “Just keep breathing honey.”

Felicity took several more breaths before opening her eyes, looking up at him.

“What if you were out there?” she said, her voice betraying the residual fear that she couldn’t shake.

Oliver’s eyes took on realization just before he lifted her into his arms. Felicity wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he buried his face in her hair and held her close.

“I’m right here,” he whispered.

She shuddered in his embrace, clutching at his soft t-shirt as she bit down on her lip to keep from crying anymore. When he turned his head and pressed a brief kiss to her cheek, Felicity pulled away just a little bit to meet his eyes. Then she was pushing up on her toes and her lips were pressing to his. It was a soft, chaste kiss. Oliver grew still for a few moments. Then he pulled her in even closer and delved his hand into her hair. Felicity arched into him and parted her lips slightly. When her tongue darted out and swept over his lower lip, Oliver let out a soft groan.

Then Felicity was lifted completely off the floor and she wrapped her legs around his waist in response. He held her nearly effortlessly, one of his hands moving to cradle her thigh while the other continued stroking her hair. Felicity daringly nipped at his lips and felt a wave of heat run through her body when his tongue delved into her mouth. She barely noticed Oliver moving before he was sinking back onto her couch to sit. Felicity straddled his thighs and stroked her tongue over his before pulling away to kiss her way along his jaw.

Her body was singing with relief that she’d finally given into the desire that she felt so intensely. The feeling of his warm, muscles body pressed so close to her was all that it took for her core to grow hot and wet. Felicity rocked against him as she scraped her teeth over his earlobe. Oliver sighed out her name, running a hand up her bare calf before leaning his head back against the couch cushion. Felicity thought that he was giving her more access but then his hands were pushing at her shoulders and he was forcing a little distance between the two of them. She whined in protest, wanting to get closer and not further away. But Oliver repeated her name patiently and she stopped struggling against him, opening her eyes with a frown.

“Why are you…” Felicity trailed off, her hands falling to his shoulders.

“You don’t want to do this,” Oliver said, though his eyes were dark and his cheeks were flushed.

“I vehemently disagree,” she argued.

He shook his head, looking as though it was taking all of his self-control to keep her at a distance.

“You had a long day,” Oliver said, reaching up to brush his fingers over her cheek. “You’re tired and stressed and I’m pretty sure you might still be in shock.”

“Oliver-” Felicity huffed, tilting her head away from his touch out of sheer aggravation at this point.

“I don’t want you to wake up in the morning and regret this,” he cut her off, sounding as frustrated as she felt. “And I won’t take advantage of the state that you’re in.”

She stared at him for several moments as cold reality started to take over. Yet she still sat there, positioned on his lap with his hands at her hips.

“Is that what I did? When you came to me and you were mourning Tommy?” Felicity asked in a small voice.

Panic filled Oliver’s eyes just for a moment and he quickly shook his head.

“No. I knew exactly what I was doing when I came to you,” he assured her with honesty shining in his eyes. “I did it for a reason.”

“Why?” 

He didn’t answer, taking a deep breath before letting it out slowly.

“We should get to bed,” Oliver said.

Felicity wanted to argue, wanted to demand that he tell her, but she could finally feel exhaustion seeping in. She was still afraid to close her eyes.

“I don’t want to sleep alone,” she said, looking at Oliver helplessly.

He nodded, leaning in to press another gentle kiss to her lips.

“Neither do I,” Oliver told her.

With that, he lifted her into his arms again and walked them down the hallway. As soon as Felicity was lying underneath her covers with her robe discarded on the floor, Oliver laid down on the other side of the bed. Much like the first night they spent like this, he didn’t get underneath her blankets. Felicity didn’t really know why but she didn’t bother to question him about it either. Instead she scooted closer and laid her head on his chest. Oliver’s arm wrapped around her without hesitation.

“Oliver?” Felicity asked, keeping her eyes open as she fisted her hand in his shirt.

“Hmm?”

She hesitated before continuing, hoping he wouldn’t shut down if she asked him what she wanted.

“Do you get scared when stuff like that happens? Or do instinct and adrenaline just take over?”

Oliver didn’t answer for a long few moments.

“I compartmentalize. If I couldn’t, what I do would be impossible.”

Felicity could see the sense in that. As her eyes drifted shut, a brief thought passed through her head and quickly made its way to her lips.

“Detective -- Officer Lance asked me today if I’d heard from the vigilante,” she said, her words coming out slow and quiet. “I told him I had hope. That I still believe in him.”

Oliver didn’t respond to that but she felt the slightest tension in his muscles beneath her touch. Then she was drifting off. Her last thought before succumbing to sleep was that she liked how well she fit into Oliver’s arms.

* * *

 

When she woke up the next morning, Felicity first became aware of a soft touch trailing up and down her arm. She didn’t open her eyes but also didn’t bother to pretend like she was still sleeping. Oliver was far too aware to be fooled. So Felicity took a deep breath and turned her face into his chest, smelling the remnants of cologne in the fabric of his t-shirt. Oliver’s lips skimmed over her forehead and his other hand lifted to curve over her hip. Awareness slowly seeped in and she remembered the events of the previous night.

Biting down on her lip, Felicity tried her best not to fidget out of embarrassment. Yet in the back of her mind, all that she could think was that this was the morning after they deserved. She should have woken up in his arms with his gentle touch sending warm tingles throughout her body. Felicity refused to linger on the thought. It was in the past and there was no changing it. It wasn’t forgotten but neither she nor Oliver could change it now.

All that she wanted to do was focus on the fact that he was there now. He’d been there for her last night. And when she gave into her emotions and hormones, he was able to put a stop to it before it went too far. Finally lifting her head, she settled her chin on his chest and opened her eyes. Oliver’s eyes were soft and there was no judgment in his gaze, much to her relief. In fact, he looked more content that anything. Felicity was certain that she had to look ridiculous with bedhead and sleepy eyes but he didn’t even flinch, reaching up to brush her messy hair out of her face. She couldn’t help but smile, leaning her head into his touch.

“Hi,” Felicity said quietly.

Oliver’s lips lifted into a slight smile just before he responded.

“Good morning.”

She reached up, unable to resist brushing her thumb over the mole at the corner of his mouth.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” Oliver asked.

Felicity tilted her head to the side, giving him a look.

“You know what,” she said.

“It was nothing,” he said dismissively.

“It wasn’t,” Felicity denied, shaking her head slightly. “It means something to me. A lot, actually.”

Oliver’s eyes darted away and she could tell that he felt uncomfortable. Felicity also knew that it wasn’t just about her gratitude, though he’d never exactly received thanks all that well.

“I don’t regret it,” Felicity said.

His eyes snapped back to her and she could easily see that he was surprised.

“Kissing you,” she clarified, as if he really needed it. “I really don’t. I’m glad that it didn’t go any further but only because the timing wasn’t right.”

Oliver stared at her as if he couldn’t quite believe what she was saying. Felicity knew that it was hard for him to process since pretty much everything had been hard for them lately. So she leaned up and pressed the lightest of kisses to his lips before pushing herself up and out of bed.

“I want to snuggle all morning but your kid really isn’t making that possible,” Felicity sighed, dragging herself towards her bathroom.

“My kid,” Oliver repeated.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, nodding with a smile.

“I’ll claim the little menace when I stop feeling like I have to pee every twenty minutes,” Felicity said teasingly, though they both knew she would always claim their child no matter the state of her bladder.

Once she cleaned herself up a little bit, she came back out to find Oliver sitting up on her bed now. His legs were dangling off the end and his elbows were braced on his knees as he watched her walk out. Felicity had the sense that there was something he wanted to say. So she walked over and gently stroked her fingers through his hair, waiting until he decided to speak. Oliver’s hand reached out after a moment, pressing flat over her abdomen as his eyes lifted to meet hers.

“What is it?” Felicity asked.

He swallowed hard before opening his mouth to speak.

“I chose to come back from the island,” Oliver said.

She smiled slightly, brushing her thumb down his cheek.

“With some heavy encouragement from Dig, I assume,” Felicity said.

“No,” Oliver said with a shake of his head. “The first time.”

She blinked twice, unable to really process what he was trying to tell her.

“You-you were picked up by fishermen,” Felicity said, frowning at him.

“They were paid to come to the island by a friend of mine,” he said.

Felicity stared at him, realizing that he was actually sharing details about his time away. Something that he’d rarely done and only when she or Dig pulled a few metaphorical teeth first.

“You chose to come back,” Felicity said, slowly letting the words sink in.

“To save the city,” Oliver said, lifting his hand from her midsection to take hers. “To right my father’s wrongs. I was going to do it all alone.”

She nodded, having heard that particular part before.

“I fully intended to carry everything by myself. I was ready for it. I didn’t expect Dig. And I really never saw you coming,” Oliver said.

“You’re the one who came to me,” she reminded him.

“And you’re the first person I truly trusted.”

Felicity fell silent as he surprised her once more.

“There was just something about you,” Oliver continued, lowering his head to stare at the floor.

“What?” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

“I saw your light.”

Her breath caught in her throat at the familiarity of those words. He spoke them the night that they slept together. It was the first thing that he said before he even walked through the door. Felicity thought that he meant the light from her living room that was visible through the window that faced the street. Maybe he did. Or maybe he meant something else, something like what he was saying now.

“I never saw this coming, Felicity,” Oliver said, squeezing her hand lightly. “Any of it. I didn’t expect it and I don’t really know what to do. I’m trying to do the right thing but it’s really hard when I’m flying blind here.”

She suddenly knew exactly what he was trying to tell her. With a shake of her head and a smile, she nudged at his shoulder until he straightened up before slowly lowering herself into his lap much like she did last night. This time, however, she pressed a hand to his cheek and stared into his conflicted eyes.

“It’s okay to be scared, Oliver,” Felicity said.

A small crease formed between his eyes at her words and she knew that the mere idea of it rebelled against every instinct he had.

“Are you?” he asked.

She let out a laugh, nodding her head.

“Are you kidding? I’m terrified,” Felicity said, though the words were somehow not enough to really define how she felt. “In a few months there’s going to be this tiny human that we have to name and dress and feed and bathe. I think we’d both be idiots if we weren’t scared.”

Oliver looked slightly comforted by that but there was still the uncertainty there.

“It goes against a lot of my nature to face a situation without knowing everything,” he said carefully.

Felicity put both of her hands on his cheeks and leaned towards him, pressing her forehead to his.

“It’s a good thing you have backup,” she said seriously.

Oliver let out a huffing laugh and she smiled widely.

“Not just backup,” he said, closing his eyes. “A partner.”

Felicity’s chest warmed and she turned her face to his shoulder, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“A partner,” she agreed as his arms wrapped around her and held her close.

They stayed like that for a long time before her hunger made itself known and Oliver volunteered to cook them both breakfast. As they drifted out into her kitchen, Felicity slid onto a barstool to watch, knowing better than to offer her help.

“What happens now?” she asked.

Oliver didn’t pause as he cracked open eggs and began cooking her an omelette.

“I’m meeting with the board today,” he answered, somehow knowing what she was referring to. “They’re worried about the effect on the stock market.”

Felicity felt disgusted, shaking her head.

“Queen Consolidated employees died and they’re worried about the effect it’ll have on the company?” she said.

“Corporate America,” Oliver said with a heavy sigh.

As terrible as it was, she was glad to hear that it wasn’t just her.

“I’m gonna be honest, I really don’t want to go anywhere near that place today,” Felicity sighed.

“Then don’t.”

She stared at him.

“I can’t just not show up.”

“Why not?”

She stamped down her frustration, knowing that Oliver meant well.

“Because it’s my job,” Felicity said patiently.

“And you know the boss,” he said with a shrug, focusing on the stove again.

She pressed her lips together. It was getting harder to stay tolerant. Oliver may not be the spoiled playboy that the media constantly accused him of being but he was still completely different from her. From every single person in the world who ever had a job that wasn’t assured.

“That’s exactly the kind of thing that everyone is going to be worried about when we go public,” Felicity said, folding her hands on the counter. “I can’t take advantage of knowing the boss because it’ll come back to bite us in the ass at some point.”

Oliver turned to face her once he shifted the omelette from the pan to a plate.

“Then do it the right way and call Vanessa Harris,” he suggested instead of pushing her on the other subject.

“I can do my job, Oliver. It’s just going to be hard to walk through those doors,” Felicity said with a shake of her head.

He walked over to her, setting a plate down along with a container of her favorite yogurt.

“Yesterday was hard,” Oliver said, reaching up to cup her cheek in his large, callused hand. “The last thing you need to do, for you and the little menace, is to add more stress on your shoulders. It’s not good for either of you. So if you need to take the day, take the day. No one gets to stop you. But don’t think that I’m doubting your resilience. I know firsthand how strong you are. So if you think you can handle the day, do what you want to do.”

She considered it for a moment, calm settling over her at his well-worded explanation. He wasn’t just being overprotective and demanding. His words actually made sense. Felicity didn’t just have herself to worry about. And she couldn’t deny that avoiding Queen Consolidated for at least most of the day sounded really nice.

“I’ll need new clothes soon,” she said, reaching up to cover his hand with hers. “Maybe I can convince Thea to wander the stores with me for a couple of hours.”

Oliver looked satisfied, giving her a nod.

“But I’m coming in after lunch,” she said conditionally.

“That’s a good compromise.”

Felicity couldn’t help but agree with him, especially when he brushed his lips over her forehead softly.

“Do you want some tea?” Oliver asked as he pulled away.

“Just water,” she said with a shake of her head before digging in on her breakfast.

He stepped away with a nod, getting a glass of water for her before starting in on making his own breakfast.

“Boss, huh?” Felicity said, remembering what he said. “I didn’t know it was official.”

“The board is going to vote today,” Oliver said, his voice slightly heavy and wary.

She watched his shoulders hunch slightly as if he could feel a weight settling on his shoulders. Felicity knew full well that his family’s company was a burden that he never wanted to take on. It was hard to imagine how it felt now that he really had no choice. Take over or watch it collapse. It was an impossible situation because there was really only one choice.

“Hey,” she said.

Oliver glanced at her over his shoulder and she gave him what she hoped was an encouraging smile.

“I’m here,” Felicity said, nodding at him. “Whatever you need. I may not know much about running a company but I’m a pretty quick learner. You won’t be alone.”

He stared at her for a moment before smiling as well.

“I know,” Oliver said, a tender look in his eyes. “You’re my partner.”

* * *

 

The lobby of Queen Consolidated was more crowded than she’d ever seen it. Felicity stood by the elevator bank watching the reporters and employees gather to watch the impending press conference. It would be televised by every single local network and even a major national news channel. Usually she would stand with Dig during one of these things but he was supervising the security. Four days had passed since the shooting and everyone was still on high alert. Oliver was standing near the temporary elevated platform that held a podium with a few board members who would stand with him as he spoke.

“How are you today, Miss Smoak?”

Felicity’s head turned but she knew who it was before she caught sight of them standing next to her.

“I’m fine,” she answered, though her mouth felt a little dry. “And you, Mrs. Harris?”

Vanessa gave her a mild smile that held a lot of tension.

“The board members are twitchy,” she said without answering Felicity’s question. “They fear another attack.”

“Isn’t that why QC’s security decided to move the press conference inside?”

“I think our new CEO had more to do with that than anyone,” Vanessa said, nodding at Oliver. “Though the glass windows won’t do much if those men decided to start shooting again.”

“Well I know the man in charge of security for the day. John Diggle is incredibly qualified and I have no doubt that he’s making sure everyone in this building is safe,” Felicity said confidently.

The older woman let out a laugh.

“We could give each board member three personal bodyguards for the duration of this press conference and they would still be twitchy,” she said with a sigh.

Felicity had a feeling that was true. The fact that it was Harold Conway who was targeted by the men had put everyone on edge. Not just at Queen Consolidated, but across Starling City. Especially after a news channel put two and two together and started making comparisons between the men in black hoods and the recently MIA vigilante. The fact that bullets and arrows were very different didn’t seem to matter, apparently. The Hood was faulted for the appearance of these men even though they hadn’t been seen since gunning down Mr. Conway and five others. One of the critically injured employees had died in the hospital since the incident.

A hush fell over the room as Oliver and the others ascended to the platform and Vanessa slipped away to stand with a few other executives. Felicity barely noticed as she watched Oliver take his place at the podium while the press pushed in closer, each reporter practically vibrating with the need to start shouting questions at him. They restrained themselves as he took a deep breath and laid both hands on the podium. His eyes drifted over the crowd before settling on Felicity for a brief moment. She gave him a nod, letting him know that she was there the entire time. Just as she did, she felt a presence at her side and glanced out of the corner of her eye to see Thea there. It was easy to see the relief in Oliver’s eyes when he saw his sister. Felicity reached down and squeezed Thea’s hand for just a moment, showing her own gratitude.

“Let’s get started, shall we?” Oliver said, his eyes returning to his captive audience. “I want to begin by apologizing for the tight fit. Due to recent events, Queen Consolidated is putting the safety of all employees and visitors above comfort.”

There wasn’t much of a response to that.

“I wish to thank everyone for keeping our company in your thoughts, especially the families of Harold Conway, Noah Wright, Julia Perkins, Anne Clayton, Brett Foster, and Kelvin Banks. Additionally, everyone here wishes a speedy recovery on those still recovering at Starling General. Tragedy struck our Queen Consolidated family and we’ve put our full resources into helping the SCPD find the perpetrators of the crime.”

The reporters began clamoring a little bit and Oliver jumped in before they could inevitably start shouting questions.

“We have no details on the identity of the shooters or their motive. The police department should be contacted about any information regarding the investigation.”

Felicity felt a surge of pride. Oliver was handling this all very well for someone who absolutely hated being under so much attention these days. At her side, she could tell that Thea thought the same.

“Harold Conway is a great loss to this company. We will never forget his contributions, especially in the past several months as interim CEO. It is my privilege to continue his work as the new CEO of Queen Consolidated,” an eruption of his name broke out as reporters started to shout questions but he managed to get them quiet enough by promising to take questions when he finished speaking. “I can only hope to match Mr. Conway’s love and passion for this company. I am honored by the board’s vote of confidence and I am determined to work with every single person in this building to help this company and this city grow and prosper. Thank you. I will take questions now.”

The next fifteen minutes were filled with the press grilling him on the future of the company and what he planned to do about security in the aftermath of the attack. Felicity hardly felt surprised when Oliver named Diggle as a private consultant for the company, which meant that he’d pretty much have free reign to reform the security department in order to keep everyone safer. It was a smart decision. By the time Oliver managed to escape the reporters and descend from the platform, she felt tired just from watching him deal with all of it. He crossed straight over to them, embracing Thea tightly.

“I’m proud of you Ollie,” she said quietly before pulling away.

He nodded, murmuring his thanks and kissing her cheek before turning to Felicity. She prepared to tell him how he good he did but didn’t the chance before he was pulling her into his arms.

“Oliver,” Felicity said, staring up at him with wide eyes. “The reporters.”

“I don’t care,” he said.

And as he pressed his lips to her forehead and slid his arm around her waist, she found that she didn’t really care either. The press would find out sooner or later. Their best laid plans had gone to hell as soon as Queen Consolidated was attacked. They had to roll with the punches especially now that Oliver would be even more scrutinized by the media than before. So she slid her hand into his and stepped to his side as he wrapped his arm around Thea’s shoulders.

Together, they walked to the elevators to make their way up to the CEO’s office that now belonged to him, caring little for the cameras that were trained on them. They were closely shadowed by Dig, who kept close attention to all those who surrounded them. Felicity felt the line being drawn between them and everyone else as they waited for the elevator to come. She knew that Oliver and Thea were used to that line. But this was the first time she’d ever been standing on this side of it. Somehow, it felt natural. Like this was just how it was supposed to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love to hear what you think!
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